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You'll have to excuse me for not bringing my source, except I saw it in the Schottenstein Chumash, and my mind seems to remember it was Ibn Ezra or Ramban (perhaps someone can help if they know, otherwise I can try and look it up later) but...

It is said that Leah got annoyed at Rachel for asking for some dudaim, because she felt that Rachel was being self-centred (or something similar). It went further on to say that Leah was annoyed that Rachel married Yaakov after Leah, creating this competitiveness in the marriage in the first place (see Sforno).

I was really taken aback by this. How can we reconcile this with the fact that Leah was a Tzaddeket? Leah knew that Rachel was supposed to marry Yaakov and he was tricked into marrying Leah instead. Despite that Rachel didn't want Leah to be embarrassed so gave her the passwords etc during the marriage.

So, it seems to me that in the name of normal human decency, Leah should a) feel bad that due to their father's evil, Leah married Yaakov when that wasn't his or Rachels initial intention - basic bashfulness is a trait specific to the Jewish people... and b) feel grateful that despite that, Rachel looked after her and made it as pleasant as possible.

Instead, she now is annoyed at Rachel, has no empathy that Rachel has no children, and in fact thinks that Rachel did something wrong by proceeding as planned and marrying her love, Yaakov? It just doesn't add up to me.

I get that Leah was also a victim in all this, and had her own problems of feeling unloved, but should that really be a cause for this indecent reaction?

Help me understand.

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    I thought about this on Shabbat. My conclusion was that the Torah only shows us snippets of Yaakov's time in Charan. Perhaps there were unmentioned incidents that led Leah to believe she had already paid what she owed to Rachel. Another thought is that though biologically speaking Leah should have married Esav, in reality, Yaakov used a trick to attain elder status, and Leah also became his wife by trickery. So in her mind, she might have thought she was indeed supposed to be his one true wife, and Rachel was the problematic additional wife. Commented 14 hours ago
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    There are commentators who maintain that Leah had no idea at all that she was taking Rachel's place Commented 14 hours ago
  • @JoelK but are they the same commentators? What did those commentators say about this incident? It's best to keep like for like. For e.g. Ohr HaChaim says that Leah was upset because Yaakov's bed was always in Rachel's tent, but others say that yes, that's true, but only because Rachel was childless, in which case if we mix those commentators, she looks bad for not being empathetic to Rachel Commented 14 hours ago
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    According to those who say that Leah didn't know she was taking Rachel's place, it magnifies the sensitivity that Rachel had that, even 7 years later, when Leah accuses Rachel of taking her husband (which was probably in a private conversation), she had every right to reply with the truth! But she didn't, and she kept up the veil of secrecy, and gave up of her own rights to not make her sister feel bad for even a second - even in private! Commented 11 hours ago
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    @RabbiKaii Yaakov, Lavan, and Rachel knew that he was working for Rachel. Only Leah didn't know. Commented 11 hours ago

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I had a thought about this once, I don't recall seeing it anywhere, so I'll share it.

Leah had eyes ruined from all her crying, as Rashi brings from Chazzal, she thought she was going to marry Esav since they were both the older sibling.

ועיני לאה רכות. שהיתה סבורה לעלות בגורלו של עשו ובוכה שהיו הכל אומרים שני בנים לרבקה ושתי בנות ללבן, הגדולה לגדול והקטנה לקטן:

My chidush is that although we always mention these prayers in praise of her, we never seem to focus on the outcome of her crying. I would suggest that Leah heard about Yaakov sneaking and getting the bechora and blessings, and she assumed, perhaps rightfully, that Yaakov was now her true match. And maybe she even believed it was her prayers that helped him succeed. Based on this theory we could understand how Leah believed it was Rachel who not only 'practically took her husband' but was even more incensed after the duda'im incident.

I would offer a slight proof that they knew about the bechora and bracha incidents, as Yaakov was not shy about his sneakiness when he told Rachel he was a brother of her father in this regard.

ומדרשו אם לרמאות הוא בא גם אני אחיו ברמאות

Of course this could get complicated to the point of impossible if we assume like Chazzal that Rachel and Leah were very young and there were multiple decades between Yaakov's escape and arrival by Lavan.

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    Nice. See this: sefaria.org/Or%20HaChaim%20on%20Genesis%2029:32:2 (relevant Ohr HaChaim). I think someone else made a similar point in my research today, possibly a commentator but more likely a comment here on the site. Either way +1 for a great chiddush Commented 5 hours ago
  • Thank you. That is a nice pshat as well, but he doesn't seem to focus on Leah's prayers. I think when I originally thought of this it was coming to answer what happened to those prayers, and I ended up with this. Commented 4 hours ago

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