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Here's a wordy sentence:

The magnetic field at this stage is parallel to the magnetic field at the first stage, but the intensity of the magnetic field at this stage can be lower than the intensity of the magnetic field at the first stage.

This sentence is wordy due to a lot of noun repetition. Can I simply reword this sentence into:

The magnetic field at this stage is parallel to that at the first stage, but the intensity of the magnetic field at this stage can be lower than that at the first stage.

I know that in some comparisons we can use "that" to avoid noun repetition, like "The mass of the earth is much larger than that of the moon". But I am not sure whether this technique can be applied to other circumstances like the example here.

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The magnetic field at this stage is parallel to the magnetic field at the first stage, but the intensity of the magnetic field at this stage can be lower than the intensity of the magnetic field at the first stage.

This can be shortened in several ways, including yours and:

The magnetic field at this and the first stage are parallel, but its intensity at this stage can be lower.

IMO it's much easier to grasp the meaning without the repetitions. In the second clause you can omit the full comparison, which is understood, e.g., "You car is faster than mine, but mine is older [than yours]".

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There are many ways to avoid repetition. In this case, your reworded sentence is fine:

The magnetic field at this stage is parallel to that at the first stage, but the intensity of the magnetic field at this stage can be lower than that at the first stage.

This sentence uses that as a pronoun in place of the repetitive noun magnetic field - perfectly all right. That's what pronouns are for. There are still other ways to vary your wording. Allow yourself to be creative and practice. You will learn still others.

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  • I am sorry but do you know why the OP is locked? I've never seen a locked post before. Commented Dec 24, 2021 at 23:35
  • @Hermis14 I don't. I also noticed that and wondered about the reason. Commented Dec 25, 2021 at 0:38
  • @Hermis14 It's because the big operators don't want answers in comments under the question. Sometimes, they get annoyed and just lock everything up. [The magnetic field at this stage is parallel to that at the first stage, but its intensity here can be lower than that at the first stage.] Commented Jan 23, 2022 at 22:52
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This magnetic field is now parallel to the first, although its intensity may be less.

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