Emotional Detachment and Objectivity

20 years of leading Fortune 500 execs taught me one brutal truth: The career ceiling is NOT set by intelligence, strategy, or charisma. It is set by your ability to detach. Detachment is not indifference - It is a disciplined distance. It is the mental judo that lets you bend when the board pushes hard and spring back without a single emotional fracture. I watched a COO lose the room because a single hostile question turned his pulse into a jackhammer. One week later I coached a rival candidate through the same furnace. Same question. Same scrutiny. Different outcome. This one smiled, acknowledged the pressure, reframed the threat as data, and redirected the meeting toward the mission. Promotion followed. Why? Because investors bet on leaders who see fire, feel the heat, and still choose the next move instead of the next emotion. Here is how detachment plays out in the trenches. • Crisis email hits at 7:07 PM. You read, breathe twice, schedule a reply for 7:00 AM, and spend the night sleeping like a baby. • Competitor blindsides the market. Instead of trash talking, you collect intelligence, adjust your plan, and turn their reveal into your reconnaissance. • Board member snipes at your margin miss. You accept the point, zoom out to long-term trend, and use data to anchor the narrative, not defensiveness. • Team misses deadline. You skip the blame hunt, dissect the variables, and install a system guardrail within 24 hours. Detachment looks calm on the surface. Underneath, it is active command over the only battlefield no competitor can breach — your own nervous system. The neuroscience backs this up. Cortisol spikes shut down the prefrontal cortex. Decision quality nosedives. Revenue follows. Detach first, decide second, dominate third. You will still feel the push. But you will not break. If you master nothing else this quarter, master the two-step drill I give every mentee: 1. Label the trigger in real time. "Board attack." "Market shock." "Team chaos." 2. Shift focus to objective data within sixty seconds. Numbers, timelines, options. Not feelings. Do that long enough and the world starts calling you resilient. But you will know the deeper secret. It’s not just resilience… It is detachment — the invisible armor that keeps your influence intact while everyone else bleeds credibility.

I woke up every morning thinking about this case. Went to bed every night thinking about this case. For two years straight. A controversial police shooting that made front-page news 32 separate times. I was so invested, I forgot my actual job: giving sound legal advice. Instead, I started making decisions based on what I wanted to happen. The case consumed me completely. I had what kids now call "main character energy." This wasn't my client's case anymore. It was MY case. Every headline. Every development. Every twist in the investigation. I lived and breathed it all. But somewhere along the way, I crossed a dangerous line. I stopped being an objective advocate and became emotionally invested in the outcome. My advice shifted from "what's best for my client" to "what do I want to see happen." There's a trend in personal injury law called "psychodrama" where lawyers are taught to absorb their client's story until it becomes their own story. You're supposed to sit with clients for hours, learning every detail, feeling every emotion. I think this approach is dangerous. A good lawyer keeps distance from the client's story. Not because you don't care, but because caring too much clouds your judgment. You're being paid to provide sound, objective legal advice. Your decisions should be strategic, not emotional. When you're thinking about a case 24/7, when you're losing sleep over it, when it becomes personal - that's when you start making mistakes. That's when your emotions override your professional judgment. And that's when you hurt the very client you're trying to help. The hardest lesson I learned from that front-page case? Sometimes the most passionate thing you can do for your client is stay professionally detached. Your job isn't to feel their pain. Your job is to solve their problem.

Most women know what to do. Few know how to do it. Especially when it comes to this… Most women know detachment is essential. But when stress hits? It feels impossible to practice it. If you're a manager, founder, or leader you've probably been told to "protect your peace." But no one tells you how. So here’s a grounded, no-fluff guide to emotional detachment that actually works. 1. Redefine what emotional detachment really is • Not becoming numb or distant. • It’s choosing *presence* over *reactivity.* • Staying centered in your values. • Letting others own their emotions. 2. Use Internal Family Systems (IFS) • Your inner critic isn’t *you -* it’s a “part.” • Ask: “What is this part protecting?” • Dialogue internally with curiosity. • Detachment starts with inner clarity. 3. Move your body to release stuck emotions • Emotions *live* in your nervous system. • Take a 10-minute barefoot walk. • Shake out your hands, legs, shoulders. • Movement helps emotions move *through*. 4. Practice breathwork for nervous system calm • Try this: Inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 6. • Do this for just 2 minutes. • Your body shifts from threat to safety. • A calmer body = detached, clear mind. 5. Journal like your best friend is listening • Start with: “What am I feeling?” • Don’t aim for pretty or perfect. • Just empty your mental clutter. • Detachment follows *emotional processing*. 6. Observe instead of absorbing • Notice the story you’re telling yourself. • Are you owning someone else’s mood? • Pause. Reframe. Release. • This is radical self-trust in motion. 7. Learn to detach with love, not guilt • “No” doesn’t make you mean. • Distance doesn’t mean disconnection. • Boundaries protect your energy. • Emotional detachment = energetic responsibility. 8. Make detachment a habit, not a rescue • Don’t wait for burnout to reset. • Micro-moments matter more than meltdowns. • Reflect weekly: “Where did I over-function?” • Adjust from a place of love. You’re not too much. You’re just carrying too much. And detachment? That’s not weakness. It’s how you stay rooted while the world spins. Let others spiral. You get to choose stillness. You get to protect your space. You get to lead without losing yourself. What landed most for you? Save this for the days you feel stretched thin but still show up. ♻ Share it with someone who needs to read it. ➕ Follow me, Julia Snedkova, for more grounded tools to lead without losing yourself.

Saturday Personal Leadership--- Mastering Emotional Detachment: A Leader's Guide to Smarter Decision-Making. As a CISO (or any leader) emotions can “help you” make bad decisions. They can also “help you” make good decisions. The trick, the method, the key—is knowing and understanding the emotions you are having. Our emotions very often drive our responses, which can lead to impulsive and poor decisions. For leaders, developing the ability to detach from emotional reactions is crucial for sound decision-making. Recognize and Acknowledge Your Emotions Emotions serve as signals that something needs your attention. The key is recognizing and labeling those emotions—whether it's frustration, anxiety, or excitement. By naming your feelings, you reduce their control over you, allowing for more precise decision-making. This doesn't mean ignoring your emotions but understanding them to see situations more objectively. Step Away From Your Own Perspective Effective decision-making often requires stepping outside one's personal viewpoint. By distancing oneself from one's immediate perspective, one opens oneself to new ideas and avoids conflicts driven by ego. Take a step back from what you believe about a person or a situation. Your initial perspective might be incomplete, biased or just wrong. Adopt a Curious Mindset When faced with emotional triggers, shift your approach from reacting to questioning. Ask yourself, "Why am I feeling this way? What's really driving this emotion?" This curiosity helps you better understand your emotions, leading to more thoughtful and informed decisions. Take Control of Your Reactions While you can't always control the events around you, you can control how you respond. Be calm, look at the situation objectively. If a situation allows for proactive change, take action. If not, take a step back and assess. This shift from reactive to strategic thinking will lead to better outcomes. Utilize a Reset Moment During high-stress or emotional moments, create a reset point. Take a deep breath, pause, and refocus. This brief moment of calm allows you to regain clarity and avoid impulsive reactions. Follow a simple three-step process ** Be at peace **Observe the situation **Decide what is best. By mastering the art of detachment, you can make more rational decisions and foster more robust, healthier relationships within your team. How do you manage your emotions? #CISO #CEO #CIO #Leadership #Teamwork Access Point Consulting Keith Price Joshua Copeland Ronald N. { John Felker }

🚫 Don’t Get Attached or Personal with a Case In the legal profession, one of the most challenging lessons every advocate eventually learns is this: do not get emotionally attached to a case or a client. ⚖️ When we invest our time, knowledge, and energy into a matter, it’s natural to feel connected. Day after day, preparing arguments, reading files, attending hearings—it often feels like the case becomes a part of our own life. Many advocates begin to carry the emotions of their clients, sometimes even suffering sleepless nights over strategies and outcomes. But here lies the reality—👉 the case belongs to the client, not to us. 💔 The Harsh Reality I have seen many advocates, especially young ones, get deeply attached to their clients. They fight for them with passion, stand by them in court, and sometimes even go beyond their professional duties. But one fine day, for reasons best known to the client, they may choose to move on with another advocate. And that’s where the heartbreak happens. We start questioning ourselves— • Was my effort not enough? • Did I fail to satisfy them? • Why did they do this despite my dedication? This emotional burden is heavy, and it distracts us from our real duty. 📌 A Golden Rule to Remember “Client kabhi kisi ka saga nahi hota.” It may sound harsh, but it’s the truth. Clients act in their own best interest. They will choose the path they feel is right for their case, even if it means replacing the advocate who stood by them from the start. ✅ What Should We Do as Advocates? The answer is simple yet powerful: • While the client is with you, give your best—knowledge, strategy, dedication, and support. • If they choose to move on, let them go gracefully. Do not take it personally. • Remember, your time and energy are valuable—redirect them to the next case that awaits your attention. 🧠 Professional Detachment is Strength Maintaining professional distance is not about being insensitive. It’s about protecting your focus, your peace of mind, and your dignity. When we detach emotionally, we are better able to: • Think strategically without bias. • Avoid stress caused by sudden client decisions. • Stay available for new opportunities without carrying the baggage of the past. 🌟 Conclusion In law, we are warriors of justice, not owners of our clients’ battles. ⚔️ The moment we understand this distinction, we start practicing with greater balance, clarity, and professionalism. So, the next time a client leaves despite your best efforts, don’t feel shattered. Instead, remind yourself: 👉 “The case was theirs. My effort was mine. Now it’s time to move forward.” Because in this profession, cases will come and go, but what must remain constant is your growth, your knowledge, and your spirit to keep fighting for justice. #Advocate #Lawyer