Assertive Communication in High-Stress Situations

Most people fight objections. I turn them into leverage. Here’s what I’ve learned: Objections 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 like attacks. You feel the heat rise. You want to push back. But when you fight them, you lose control. I learned this the hard way on the streets of Glasgow. Where words were weapons, and reading people was survival. Now, I train professionals how to keep their cool, even when the boardroom feels like a pressure cooker. I’ve trained thousands of people in high-pressure roles. Here’s what works: 𝟭. 𝗦𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗺. → Don’t take it personally → See the human behind the heat. Most people aren’t trying to provoke, they’re trying to protect something. 𝟮. 𝗙𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀. → Ask: “𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬?” → Look for the 𝘸𝘩𝘺, not just the 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 → Get curious, not defensive 𝟯. 𝗥𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗼𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝘂𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻. → Ask: “𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘧 𝘶𝘴?” → Explore. Don’t defend. Create space for joint problem-solving. 𝟰. 𝗥𝗲-𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀. → When emotions spike, reach for facts. → Use criteria both sides recognise. Timing, risk, fairness, precedent. → Neutral ground restores calm. 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 — 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲. Use lines like: → “𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘮𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦.” → “𝘓𝘦𝘵’𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥.” Because every time you do this, objections lose their sting. They stop being threats and start becoming tools. This works in contract disputes, boardroom deals, cross-functional stand-offs, anywhere pressure runs high. Objections become clarity. Clarity becomes leverage. And you stay in control. Objections aren’t the enemy. They’re a map if you know how to read them.

💡 The Pre-Meeting Emotional Check-In: A Game-Changer for Leaders 🧠 Neuroscience Insight: Ever walked into a high-stakes meeting feeling stressed, only to realize your tone or body language unintentionally set the wrong vibe? That’s because stress triggers a cortisol spike, increasing heart rate, shortening breath, and leading to emotional hijacking. But here’s the fix—preparing before the meeting can rewire the brain for composure and control. 🔄 A Quick Story: I once coached a leader preparing for a tough conversation with an underperforming employee. Their instinct? “I need to be firm. They need to hear the truth.” But their stress was hijacking their tone—coming off as harsh instead of constructive. ✅ The Shift: A Simple Pre-Meeting Check-In 🔹 Three Words to Embody: Calm, Encouraging, Solution-Oriented 🔹 Mirror Practice: Rehearse a balanced, supportive tone: 💬 “I appreciate your efforts and want to help you succeed. Let’s work on a plan together.” 🔥 The Outcome: Instead of shutting down, the employee engaged in the conversation. The leader communicated with clarity, respect, and vulnerability, turning a difficult discussion into a collaborative problem-solving session. 🚀 CRAVE Leadership in Action: ✔ Communication – Leading with intention and clarity. ✔ Respect – Treating team members as valued contributors. ✔ Vulnerability – Being open to difficult conversations with composure. ✨ Your Turn: Before your next meeting, try this: Write down three words that describe how you want to show up. How does it change your presence? Drop your three words in the comments—I’d love to hear them! ⬇️ #DrAmin #CRAVELeadership #NeuroLeadership #LeadershipDevelopment #CommunicationSkills #ExecutivePresence #EmotionalIntelligence

Let’s be real. Not every conversation you have will be smooth sailing. You’ve probably been there—someone catches you completely off guard with a comment that feels like a subtle dig… or maybe not so subtle. It might come across as sarcastic or even insulting. Your first instinct might be to get defensive or shut down. But if you want to maintain your front-row presence, here’s your power move: Pause. Breathe. Ask a Question. When you feel that sting of a potentially insulting comment, here’s what I want you to do: Don’t react — respond instead, after taking a pause Take a deep breath — literally. This will instantly calm your nervous system.  Ask a clarifying question.  One of these works beautifully:  “That sounded like a dig—was that your intent?”  “That came across as sarcastic—was that what you meant?”  “That sounded like an insult, was that your intent?” Don’t ask all three. Pick one. And ask it calmly, curiously, and without sarcasm of your own. This simple, assertive question flips the energy. It puts the ball in their court. Now, they’re the one who has to explain, clarify, or walk it back. Why This Works:  You’re divesting emotionally from the interaction. Instead of taking it personally, you’re gathering information.   You’re showing up as a confident, credible communicator, not someone who gets rattled.   You’re giving yourself time to process, reflect, and respond instead of reacting.  Bonus Tip: Ask Them to Repeat It (The Right Way) Sometimes a comment hits you so hard or fast that you’re just… stunned. You have no words. That’s okay. You can always say: “I didn’t quite catch that—can you say it again?” Say it from a place of genuine inquiry, not aggression. There’s a big difference between calmly saying, “Can you repeat that?” and flaring up with “Oh really? Say that again.” Front-Row Takeaway: Difficult conversations will happen. But you can choose to meet them with calm composure.  Keep your front-row seat by:  Taking a breath  Asking for clarity  Staying curious, not combative Because in the end, your confidence, your composure, and your credibility are always within your control. Here’s to holding your power, one breath at a time. See you in the front-row.

Your stress response is killing your reputation. 12 phrases that command respect instead: I used to think pushing through stress was strength. But the way I spoke in those moments? - “I can’t do this” - “This is too much” - "I'm not sure what to do next" It didn’t just reflect how I felt. It shaped how others saw me. And chipped away at my credibility. What you say under pressure matters just as much as what you do. 12 power phrases that change everything ⚡️ 1) ❌ Don't say: "I can't handle this right now" ↳ Say: "I need to focus on one thing at a time to do good work" ↳ Square shoulders while speaking. Shows capability, not collapse. 2) ❌ Don't say: "This is too much" ↳ Say: "Which of these needs to be done first?" ↳ Place hand on desk. Anchors racing thoughts instantly. 3) ❌ Don't say: "I'm completely overwhelmed" ↳ Say: "I want to do this right, so I need to be realistic about timing" ↳ Slow breathing to 4 counts. Steadies voice naturally. 4) ❌ Don't say: "I'll try to get it done" ↳ Say: "I can finish this by Thursday if we move the other deadline" ↳ Look directly at speaker. Turns uncertainty into negotiation. 5) ❌ Don't say: "I'm stressed out" ↳ Say: "I need some quiet time to get this done well" ↳ Adjust posture. Physical elevation shifts mental state. 6) ❌ Don't say: "I don't know where to start" ↳ Say: "Give me 15 minutes to get organized and I'll be on track" ↳ Take a water sip. Breaks panic cycles instantly. 7) ❌ Don't say: "I didn't have time" ↳ Say: "I was finishing the Johnson project first. I can get to this next" ↳ Uncross arms. Shows receptiveness, not defense. 8) ❌ Don't say: "I'm behind on everything" ↳ Say: "I'm checking what's most urgent so nothing important falls behind" ↳ Lower voice slightly. Commands authority in challenges. 9) ❌ Don't say: "This wasn't my fault" ↳ Say: "Let's focus on fixing this rather than what caused it" ↳ Small nod while speaking. Shows confidence in next steps. 10) ❌ Don't say: "Why is this happening to me?" ↳ Say: "What's the biggest problem we need to solve first?" ↳ Turn chair toward speaker. Breaks victim mindset instantly. 11) ❌ Don't say: "I'll have to work all weekend" ↳ Say: "Let's decide what absolutely needs to be done by Friday" ↳ Brief pause before responding. Creates space for strategy, not reaction. 12) ❌ Don't say: "I just can't think straight" ↳ Say: "I need 10 minutes of quiet to come up with the best plan" ↳ Feet firmly on ground. Signals stability to your brain. Your next high-pressure moment is coming. Your response is a choice. Make it intentional ✨ Which phrase transforms your next overwhelm moment? -- ♻️ Repost to help your network stay calm under pressure 🔔 Follow Dr. Carolyn Frost for more strategies to handle overwhelm with grace

I recently took a deposition where the defense lawyer was very upset (for some unknown reason) and was hell-bent on letting everyone know it. I'm sure we've all been in a scenario like this, where we have to deal with someone giving off bad energy. Dealing with someone who is visibly agitated or aggressive can be a daunting task. The key to managing situations like these lies in a strategic approach that calms the storm without escalating the conflict. Here's how to handle it: 👇 First and foremost, it's critical not to interrupt. Picture the person as a balloon filled to the brim with air—that air represents their anger. By interrupting, you seal the balloon, trapping the anger inside. Instead, let them speak until they've let all their 'air' out, allowing them to deflate naturally. This act of listening can be a powerful tool, as it often diffuses the immediate intensity of their emotions. After they've expressed themselves, gently ask them to explain the situation again. The phrase "Can you please tell me that again?" works wonders. By the time they've finished their initial venting, the 'balloon' is deflated, and they are typically unable to reinflate it with the same level of anger. This results in a more composed recounting of events. The third tactic involves steering the conversation with questions of fact. Queries that start with 'what,' 'why,' or 'where' nudge the person from their emotional state into a more logical one. Asking something like "When did this happen?" forces them to think about the details rather than their emotions, helping them to cool down. Implementing these strategies isn't just about weathering a verbal onslaught; it's about guiding the conversation to a place of understanding and resolution. By letting the person deflate, encouraging a calmer second explanation, and asking fact-focused questions, you can transition from simply handling a hot head to fostering a dialogue that resolves the underlying issues. This approach not only deescalates the immediate situation but also cultivates a blueprint for resolving future conflicts effectively. #interpersonalcommunication #communication #collaboration #relationshipbuilding

My client confided that she had "swung too far in the other direction." For months, she'd been perfectly diplomatic with her VP. Always well composed, well prepared, well measured. Until her VP kept saying: "I feel like you're not speaking freely. Talk to me." So she dropped her guard completely. But in sharing her worries and uncertainty about a high-stakes project, she got a response she didn't expect: "Don't worry, I'll handle it for you." Not what she wanted at all. Here's the revelation that shifted for her: Authenticity is surfacing intentional transparency about what you actually need. There's a big difference between being robotically diplomatic and dumping raw anxiety. They operate in that in-between space with grace. But finding this balance requires more than simple communication tactics. It requires a deeper awareness of what's happening beneath the surface. When we panic, the emotional part of our brain (the amygdala) becomes very active and makes it harder for the logical part of our brain (the prefrontal cortex) to think clearly. This means we react more on instinct and emotion, and it’s harder to make calm, rational decisions. This is why even brilliant strategic thinkers sometimes show up as completely different people in high-stakes moments. My client didn't want her VP to rescue her. - She wanted confirmation of her approach. - She wanted to know he had her back. - She wanted to remain the leader in the room. But her framing, when delivered from that emotional brain space, invited the wrong response from her VP. When we lack the tools to navigate these moments, we create the exact outcomes we're trying to avoid. Executive presence doesn't need to be complicated. It's having the awareness to create a tiny space, even just 10 seconds, between your internal reaction and your external response. In that space, you can ask: * What am I actually feeling right now? * What outcome do I truly need? * How can I frame this to invite that specific response? This is how you stay both authentic AND strategic. This is how you build trust without undermining your leadership position. This is how you get the support you need while maintaining your authority. Next time you feel torn between "buttoned-up professional" and "completely vulnerable," remember that true leadership isn't about hiding or dumping your feelings. Your leadership move is to have the clarity on what you need, then speaking from that place. This is exactly the leadership shift we practice in my "Fast-track Your Influence" program. * Learning to communicate strategically while staying authentic. * Building the awareness to navigate those high-stakes moments. * Creating trust without giving away your power. Would you like to join us? We're building leadership skills that serve you through every promotion, every role transition, and every challenging conversation to come.

I recently had an intense meeting with an aggressive audit client. Dealing with high-pressure situations and managing stress is part of the job. But this meeting was a lesson in patience, empathy, and strategic communication. Here are 5 invaluable lessons I learned in those exhausting 2 hours: 1. 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘀:    In face of aggressive questioning,    emotional neutrality is key.        Stick to the data, the facts,    and the audit issues. 2. 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗱, 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗰𝘁:    Emotional reactions can    escalate conflict.        A calm, collected response    can help diffuse tension. 3. 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆:    Often, aggression comes    from feeling unheard.        Active listening shows    respect for their views and    can smooth the conversation. 4. 𝗕𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝗺 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗳𝘂𝗹:    Standing your ground is critical,    but it's important to maintain respect.        Our words reflect our professional integrity. 5. 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲:    Post meeting, it's crucial to destress.        A few minutes of deep breathing,    a walk, or even a cup of tea    can help reset your emotional state. Have you faced similar situations? How do you deal with aggressive clients? ---------------------------------- Hi there, I'm Rob. I teach people (especially auditors) how to become awesome. ---------------------------------- Repost ♻️ if you found this useful Let's Connect --->Robert Berry #thatauditguy #internalaudit

𝗙𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗹𝘁𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗡𝗢 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗿? Imagine if you could set boundaries while maintaining respect. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗺: • Many employees want to say no to unreasonable requests from their manager but feel trapped.    • They’re scared of damaging their relationship, being judged, or appearing uncooperative. 𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗛𝗮𝘃𝗲𝗻’𝘁 𝗦𝗼𝗹𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗜𝘁: • They lack the confidence to express themselves assertively.    • They fear backlash, such as being labeled difficult or lazy.    • They don’t know how to say no while maintaining professionalism and respect. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗡𝗲𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗕𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗳𝘀 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺: • "If I say no, I’ll lose my manager’s trust."    • "I’ll look incompetent if I can’t handle everything."    • "I don’t have the right to set boundaries." 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗡𝗲𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗜𝗳 𝗜𝘁 𝗚𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗨𝗻𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘃𝗲𝗱: • Burnout from taking on too much.    • Resentment towards the manager and job dissatisfaction.    • Loss of productivity and inability to focus on important tasks. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝟭: 𝗦𝗵𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗲𝘁 • Understand that saying no is not a sign of weakness.    • It’s a way to prioritize your work and ensure quality.    • Your manager values honest communication more than overcommitment. 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝟮: 𝗨𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝟯-𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝗔𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗙𝗼𝗿𝗺𝘂𝗹𝗮 1. 𝗔𝗰𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁: "I understand this task is important…"     2. 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗟𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: "…but my current workload doesn’t allow me to give it the attention it deserves."     3. 𝗢𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗔𝗹𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲: "Can we prioritize this for next week, or is there someone else who can assist?" 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝟯: 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗖𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆 • Stay calm and respectful.    • Show that you care about the team’s goals, but be firm about your boundaries.    • Assertiveness isn’t about being rude—it’s about being clear and confident. 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗜 𝗗𝗶𝗱 𝗜𝘁: When I first struggled with saying no, I’d either overcommit or avoid the conversation entirely. 𝘽𝙤𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙖𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙨 𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙨𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣. Once I learned assertive communication, I realized I could set boundaries and maintain respect. 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗜’𝘃𝗲 𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗽𝗲𝗱 𝗢𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀: I’ve coached professionals who were overwhelmed by their workload. By practicing assertive communication, they were able to regain control of their time, earn respect from their managers, and perform better overall. 𝗪𝗜𝗜𝗙𝗠: (𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝗜𝗻 𝗜𝘁 𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗠𝗲?) Struggling to say no without guilt? 𝗟𝗲𝘁 𝗺𝗲 𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂. • Learn how to set boundaries. • Communicate confidently and clearly. • Build trust while protecting your time and energy. 𝗣.𝗦. DM me for a free discovery call. #peakimpactmentorship  #leadership

Aggressive communication is about controlling others. Assertive communication is about controlling yourself, to influence others. 😳 “You’re always late.” vs. 🤝 “I noticed you’ve been late often. How can I support you to be on time?” Same issue. Totally different impact. One shuts people down. The other opens dialogue. When I first started to speak up, I called things out. I was “honest.” But I didn’t realize I was being aggressive, not assertive. So I studied assertive communication and learned that assertive leaders don’t sugarcoat. They speak up with both care and influence. Here’s what I’ve learned since: 🚫 Aggressive language = disrespect, one-sided, dominance ✅ Assertive language = respect, openness, influence If you care about respect and results, your words matter. 👇 Here’s some examples of the difference: AGGRESSIVE: “This is not fair.” ASSERTIVE: “Could you help me understand the criteria for this decision?” AGGRESSIVE: “Please stop interrupting me.” ASSERTIVE: “I’ll finish my thought, then I’d love to hear your perspective.” These swaps don’t make you “soft”, they make you powerful with impact. 🔥 If you lead people, build culture, or shape learning experiences… Start by modeling assertive communication. Because the way we speak up sets the tone for how others do too. ➡️➡️➡️ Bring a workshop on bold communication for influential leadership or assertive communication to your team: contact me for details. #LeadershipDevelopment #WorkplaceCulture #CorporateTraining #CommunicationMatters #EmployeeExperience #TalentDevelopment #LearningAndDevelopment #HRLeaders #TechLeadership #HealthcareLeaders #BoldCommunication #SpeakUp #DEI #PeopleFirst #ERGLeaders #AssertiveLeadership