Improving Emotional Regulation in the Workplace

Conflict gets a bad rap in the workplace. Early in my career, I believed conflict had no place in a healthy workplace. As I progressed, I realized that it was quite the contrary. The lack of conflict isn't a sign of a healthy work culture, rather it is an indication that important debates, discussions and differing viewpoints are being disregarded or suppressed. This insight revealed another key aspect: high-performing teams do not shy away from conflict. They embrace it, leveraging diverse opinions to drive optimal outcomes for customers. What sets these teams apart is their ability to handle conflict constructively. So how can this be achieved? I reached out to my friend Andrea Stone, Leadership Coach and Founder of Stone Leadership, for some tips on effectively managing conflict in the workplace. Here's the valuable guidance she provided: 1. Pause: Take a moment to assess your feelings in the heat of the moment. Be curious about your emotions, resist immediate reactions, and take the time to understand the why behind your feelings. 2. Seek the Other Perspective: Engage genuinely, listen intently, show real interest, and ask pertinent questions. Remember to leave your preconceived judgments at the door. 3. Acknowledge Their Perspective: Express your understanding of their viewpoint. If their arguments have altered your perspective, don't hesitate to share this with them. 4. Express Your Viewpoint: If your opinion remains unswayed, seek permission to explain your perspective and experiences. Remember to speak from your viewpoint using "I" statements. 5. Discuss the Bigger Objective: Identify common grounds and goals. Understand that each person might have a different, bigger picture in mind. This process can be taxing, so prepare beforehand. In prolonged conflict situations, don't hesitate to suggest breaks to refresh and refuel mentally, physically, and emotionally. 6. Know Your Limits: If the issue is of significant importance to you, be aware of your boundaries. For those familiar with negotiation tactics, know your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement). 7. Finalize Agreements: Once an agreement has been reached, continue the engagement to agree on responsibilities and timeframes. This ensures clarity on the outcome and commitments made. PS: Approach such situations with curiosity and assume others are trying to do the right thing. 🔁 Useful? I would appreciate a repost. Image Credit: Hari Haralambiev ----- Follow me, tap the (🔔) Omar Halabieh for daily Leadership and Career posts.

People with high EQ earn up to $29K more per year. Why? Because emotional intelligence drives trust, leadership, and results. Technical skills might land you the job. Emotional intelligence gets you promoted. Most people think strong performance is enough. But here’s the truth: Promotions and raises don’t just go to the most skilled. They go to those who: ✅ Navigate conflict with calm ✅ Communicate clearly under pressure ✅ Make others feel seen and supported That’s emotional intelligence. And it’s one of the most overlooked leadership skills. What does EQ look like at work? 8 powerful ways to show it: 1/ Make space for emotions (even if you disagree). Validating emotions builds connection and trust. ➟ “I can see how that would be frustrating.” 2/ Set boundaries without apologizing. Clear limits show self-respect and strength. ➟ “I’m at capacity. Let’s find a better time to discuss.” 3/ Stay calm when others get defensive. Your steadiness helps de-escalate tension. ➟ “Let’s slow down and take one step at a time.” 4/ Admit when you’re wrong and adjust quickly. Owning mistakes builds trust and momentum. ➟ “That’s a good point. Let’s rethink this.” 5/ Pause to reset before emotions take over. A short pause prevents long-term damage. ➟ “I need a moment to clear my head. I’ll be back.” 6/ Express disagreement without creating conflict. Disagreeing respectfully keeps dialogue productive. ➟ “Here’s how I’m thinking about it…” 7/ Give feedback that helps people grow. Clarity with kindness inspires improvement. ➟ “Here’s what worked. One thing to try next…” 8/ Choose connection when it’s easier to shut down. Staying present shows maturity and care. ➟ “Let’s talk when you’re ready. I want to help.” These aren't “soft skills.” They’re the hardest (and most human) skills you’ll ever master. The results speak for themselves: Leaders with high EQ see: • 34% higher team engagement • 20% better productivity • 63% lower turnover But the real ROI? You become the kind of leader people don’t just follow. They fight to work with. Reshare ♻️ to help someone in your network. And give me a follow for more posts like this.

Leadership isn’t about having all the answers, It’s about asking better questions. Fighting to get heard in the workplace can be exhausting. I’m sure we’ve all experienced: - Drifting off mid-sentence - Realizing no one was listening - Wanting desperately to be heard And the harsh truth is... As leaders, we often create those moments for our teams, without even realizing it. Active listening isn’t just about being polite. It’s about understanding, absorbing, and responding. Yet it’s a skill that often gets overlooked because of: ❌ Time pressure ❌ Mental distractions ❌ The urge to 'fix' things These are real hurdles, but they can be overcome. Here’s how to turn active listening into your superpower: 1. Turn silence into your secret weapon After someone finishes speaking, pause for a few seconds. That silence often encourages them to share more. 2. Echo what you’ve heard Paraphrase: "So what I’m hearing is..." This shows you're engaged and ensures mutual understanding. 3. Ask better follow-up questions A simple 'Why' to explore the question behind the question.  Try: "What options did you consider and reject?" Listening isn’t passive. It’s a choice: ✅ that strengthens decision-making ✅ that improves team dynamics ✅ that builds trust So next time you’re in a conversation, ask yourself: Am I truly listening? Or just waiting for my turn to talk? ♻️ Repost to help your network become better listeners. 🔔 Follow Dave Kline for more.

Early in my career, I worked with two very different leaders within the same company. Under the first, team meetings were silent affairs where new ideas were often met with criticism. We stopped contributing. When I moved teams, my new manager actively encouraged input and acknowledged every suggestion, even the imperfect ones. Our productivity and innovation skyrocketed. This experience taught me the power of psychological safety. That feeling that you won't be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, or concerns. Here are three concrete ways leaders can foster psychological safety in meetings: 1. Practice "Yes, and..." thinking. Replace "That won't work because..." with "Yes, and we could address that challenge by..." This simple language shift acknowledges contributions while building on ideas rather than shutting them down. 2. Create equal airtime. Actively notice who's speaking and who isn't. Try techniques like round-robin input or asking quieter team members directly: "Alyzah, we haven't heard your perspective yet. What are your thoughts?" 3. Normalize vulnerability by modeling it. Share your own mistakes and what you learned. When leaders say "I was wrong" or "I don't know, let's figure it out together," it gives everyone permission to be imperfect. AA✨ #PsychologicalSafety #InclusiveLeadership #WorkplaceBelonging

"You completely missed the mark." Getting constructive feedback can feel like a career crisis. Often followed by the knee-jerk reaction to defend yourself. So, as I prepared to deliver feedback to a great staff member, I was bracing myself. Instead, I got a master class in how to receive constructive criticism. As I shared my thoughts with her, she was nodding, and taking notes. And then she said, "Thank you." Compared to the normal defensive body language and "yes, buts" I was used to, she was a model of grace under pressure. Here are 7 strategies that set her apart: 1️⃣ The Shhh... Rule ❌ Immediate emotional reactions ✅ Say "thank you," and sit on it for now 💡Why? ↳ It gives your emotions time to cool down ↳ Once calm, you can objectively process the info 2️⃣ Take Careful Notes ❌ Relying on memory ✅ Write down what you heard word for word 💡Why? ↳ Shows you're taking it seriously ↳ Helps you spot patterns over time 3️⃣ Ask the Right Question ❌ "Why are you criticizing me?" ✅ "What would you like to see instead?" 💡Why? ↳ Clarifies feedback and creates action items ↳ Shows you're solution-focused 4️⃣The Mirror Technique ❌ Guessing their meaning ✅ Reflect back: "What I'm hearing is..." 💡Why? ↳ Catches misunderstandings early ↳ Shows you're actively listening 5️⃣ The Thoughtful Follow-Up ❌ Avoidance ✅ Schedule a check-in 2-3 weeks later 💡Why? ↳ Demonstrates accountability ↳ Builds trust and strengthens the relationship 6️⃣ The Documentation Log ❌ Treat each feedback session as isolated ✅ Keep a feedback journal 💡Why? ↳ Spot recurring themes ↳ Some bosses say they gave feedback and didn't 7️⃣ The Reframe ❌ Taking feedback as personal attacks ✅ Ask yourself: "If my best friend got this feedback..." 💡Why? ↳ Creates emotional distance ↳ Leads to better solutions Most managers want to give feedback because they want you to do better. They're investing their time in your growth. Do you have a tip for handling tough feedback? Share it in the comments👇 🎉You've got this and I've got you!🎉 ♻️ Share to help people with their professional growth 🔔 Follow Sarah Baker Andrus for more career strategies 📌Want job search support? DM me to chat!

I’ve found myself navigating meetings when a colleague or team member is emotionally overwhelmed. One person came to me like a fireball, angry and frustrated. A peer had triggered them deeply. After recognizing that I needed to shift modes, I took a breath and said, “Okay, tell me what's happening.” I realized they didn’t want a solution. I thought to myself: They must still be figuring out how to respond and needed time to process. They are trusting me to help. I need to listen. In these moments, people often don’t need solutions; they need presence. There are times when people are too flooded with feelings to answer their own questions. This can feel counterintuitive in the workplace, where our instincts are tuned to solve, fix, and move forward. But leadership isn’t just about execution; it’s also about emotional regulation and providing psychological safety. When someone approaches you visibly upset, your job isn’t to immediately analyze or correct. Instead, your role is to listen, ground the space, and ensure they feel heard. This doesn't mean abandoning accountability or ownership; quite the opposite. When people feel safe, they’re more likely to engage openly in dialogue. The challenging part is balancing reassurance without minimizing the issue, lowering standards, or compromising team expectations. There’s also a potential trap: eventually, you'll need to shift from emotional containment to clear, kind feedback. But that transition should come only after the person feels genuinely heard, not before. Timing matters. Trust matters. If someone is spinning emotionally, be the steady presence. Be the one who notices. Allow them to guide the pace. Then, after the storm passes, and only then, you can invite reflection and growth. This is how you build a high-trust, high-performance culture: one conversation, one moment of grounded leadership at a time.

When it comes to sharing difficult emotions at work, the research is clear. But how do you invite them while keeping deliverables on track & avoiding constant complaining? Here are 3 tactics. Many leaders don’t want to invite the expression of difficult emotions into the work because... 🛑 they’re afraid it’ll derail productivity. 🛑 they’re already burned out from being the office “therapist.” 🛑 it’s just…a lot. But here’s what Change Enthusiasm Global's data tells us: ↪️ 72–77% of employees (region-specific) are more likely to engage in a change initiative when they feel safe sharing difficult emotions about that change. Let me say it louder: EMOTIONAL SAFETY DRIVES CHANGE READINESS So how do you honor the emotion without getting pulled under? Here are 3 tactics to let the research work for you — even if you're emotionally exhausted: ------ 1. Structure the conversation. When a team member brings you a difficult emotion, guide them with this frame: 1️⃣ What’s the situation or challenge? 2️⃣ What emotion(s) are you feeling? 3️⃣ What’s one action you’re committing to to help you move forward? 4️⃣ What does support look like from me? 5️⃣ Then follow up. A week later. A month later. Let them know you saw them — and you’re still with them. ------ 2. Invite grace, not guilt. You can’t be a safe space if you’re running on empty. ✅ So when you’re not in the headspace to hold someone’s emotion, say so. “I care about this. And I want to be fully present. Can we circle back later today?” That’s self-awareness, not selfishness. ------ 3. Normalize the language of feeling. Embrace vulnerability by naming your own signal emotions. ✅ Model what it looks like to feel, then choose. grace and growth. ✅ When feelings become part of the culture, they stop feeling like a threat. ----- Here’s the truth: Emotion is already in the room. You’re either creating space for it to move or letting it fester underground. This is not about coddling. It’s about cultivating... ➡️ Resilience. ➡️ Ownership. ➡️ Growth. ➡️ Results. ⁉️ Which of the three tactics do you employ most often? ♻️ Repost to promote leading with both empathy and clarity. Download our full research whitepapers to learn more: https://lnkd.in/ennTss8p

Are there #mentalHealth and psychology methods you use in everyday life or your professional routines to be more effective? We often find that tools and strategies borrowed from clinical settings provide outstanding hacks for increasing our #emotionalintelligence and interpersonal skills in general as well. 👇 Here's one I often use with my clients. "Noticing" has become relegated to something we unconsciously do. I believe it's time we are more intentional about it. Identify and name what's going on. Then we can better know what to do about it. We have found that this frames certain management situations in a new way that lend more toward leadership development. Since it begins with meeting OURSELVES where we are at before trying to arrive at any judgment, it is also a very effective means of lowering anxiety in all kinds of situations. ✨ It works equally well and the family, in the community, and in the workplace. This certainly helps us know the difference between things that are ours to change and those which we are better just accepting. It is our own internal preparation before we find anything to say out loud. 👉 N.O.T.I.C.E. N Neutrality Establish a baseline state, neither "Default Mode" nor stimulated. Recognize potential internal biases to remove. O Observation Be the "reporter". Just observe. Resist the urge to judge or intervene. Simply collect data that may be pertinent. T Think - about external /reverse perspective What is the environmental context? If it involves another person as the focus, imagine their perspective looking back. I Implications Using imaginative empathy, hypothesize on potential impacts if the state remains unchanged. C Curious Ask nonverbal internal questions that investigate what may not be apparent, or what things we do not yet know, and need investigation. E Express Validate the condition in some way. A verbal demonstration that denotes acceptance, and relatability, at the same time. __________________________________ Dr. Christopher Deussing, DSW, LCSW, C-DBT, Allison Whitmore, LPC and I talked about this one together on the Integrative DBT & Psychotherapy LLC podcast "THE TALKING CURE", and we are having another session solely for the purpose of developing this further to co-author publishing more on it in the future. 😉 Please consider this open for public comment, as we would love to hear your views as we consider practical applications. #communityWellness -

How you respond to stress is directly correlated to your level of success in your career and in life. After countless sleepless days, I found a 5-step formula to help me through it: How you respond to these critical moments will make or break you. I'm sharing the 5-part thought process I go through when my stress levels redline. Feel free to bookmark this if it's helpful: STEP 1) Accept the situation The first step is to accept the reality of the situation you're dealing with. Accepting the situation allows you to RESET YOUR EXPECTATIONS and move forward with a newly defined level of "success" that you can meet. *Breathe STEP 2) Remove the emotion Try to separate your emotions from it. By removing the emotional component, you can approach the problem more rationally and make clearer decisions. *Breathe STEP 3) Analyze objectively Why did this happen? Maybe it's because you failed to get back to them on time, or your competition is just better. Use this "failure" as input to improve! Process the reality of that, then go off and do what you need to do– believing that you will do what it takes. *Breathe STEP 4) Maintain an objective mindset   Your mindset determines how you relate to and deal with adversity. Approach challenges with a long-term optimistic mindset, rather than a negative one. An objective mindset allows you to see the situation clearly, assess the facts, and find an effective solution. *Breathe STEP 5) Avoid reacting from a place of fear I know, you want to respond quickly but you should probably rethink that so you don't make any impulsive decisions that can hurt you or your business. Instead, take a moment to breathe, process the situation, and think through your actions before responding. You'll notice there's one common thread that ties the steps together. You need to breathe. Breathing helps to calm the mind in that moment of fear, uncertainty, doubt, panic, or anxiety. When those things arise, you have to center yourself back to where your heart rate decreases and your mind isn't racing like crazy. ➝ Centering yourself physically allow you to make the best decisions mentally. Think about the last time you felt a visceral response to a nasty email from a customer. You want to retaliate with choice words of your own. But that helps nobody. When you're able to run through the above steps, you might be able to pull some helpful feedback out of that email. And you can move on with your day! You won't need this post until you do, but when you do - please re-read it. Derive confidence from this process. Know that you are capable. Control what you can control. Let go of what you can't. What's your best stress management technique? 

One morning last week, I woke up feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and sad...😫 In the past, those emotions would spiral, affect my productivity for the rest of the day; I would even get more frustrated at myself for feeling those emotions But NOW I have created a mental gym to control my emotions rather than allowing them to control me 🙌 Here are the steps I took which completely shifted my state. Try it out next time this happens to you: 1. Accept that I am feeling these emotions, but detach my identity from the emotion. Ie: I am not a sad person, I am just feeling sadness. - There is a difference, and it will pass. 2. Write down why I began to feel these emotions; what caused it? What upset me? 3. When is the appropriate time to take action on the incident that triggered the emotions? Is there anything I can do to solve it? Put a time block on your calendar indicating when you can take action. 4. Write down 5 things I'm grateful for 5. Physically move my body (Crushed my workout with a killer playlist) 6. Write my long term goals, and visualize myself accomplishing them and feeling the emotions I would experience in this process. By the end of my physical and mental gym routine, I felt inspired, joyful, and motivated to take clear action. This approach has been transformational for me. Instead of getting stuck in negative emotions or ignoring them (making them compound). ➡️ Now, I feel empowered to handle them face on, and they actually give me more insight on how to have a more positive, productive, clear plan moving forward. I'm sharing this because I want you to know you don't have to stay stuck either. We all face challenging experiences, but you can truly turn challenges into strengths. Who else has developed strategies for managing difficult emotions? Comment below, I'd love to hear about your experience and tactics! #EmotionalIntelligence #ProfessionalGrowth #Resilience