Techniques To Improve Patience When Clients Are Demanding

When faced with other people’s bad behavior, most advice centers on specific responses or techniques. Yet I've found that what matters even more is the mindset you bring to these challenging moments—because let's face it, we can't control other people's behavior, but we can control how much of our emotional reserves it consumes. What do I mean by “bad behavior?” Think about the client who sends angry emails at midnight, the colleague who talks over you in meetings, or the boss who changes project requirements without warning and then asks why you're behind schedule. And of course, think of any family member who just drives you bananas! Here are 5 mindsets to try: 1. The Anthropologist Mindset: When someone behaves badly, imagine you're an anthropologist who's just discovered a fascinating new cultural behavior. "How interesting! This person believes interrupting shows engagement." This curious, detached observation creates emotional distance and reduces your stress response. Plus, it makes boring meetings way more entertaining! 2. The Compassion-Before-Correction Lens: Before addressing problematic behavior, ask yourself: "What might be happening in their world that I can't see?" Maybe that aggressive email came after they received bad news from home, or that micromanaging is driven by their fear of failure. This doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it helps you approach the conversation with understanding rather than judgment. 3. The Personal Laboratory View: See difficult interactions as experiments in your personal development lab. "What can I learn here about my triggers and reactions?" When you view challenging people as growth accelerators rather than obstacles, you transform frustration into fascination. (Congratulations to that impossibly difficult client—you've just been promoted from "nightmare" to "character-building exercise"!) 4. The Chess Player's Perspective: In chess, successful players think several moves ahead. Similarly, ask: "If I react instinctively right now, what's likely to happen next?" This strategic pause helps you respond rather than react, choosing moves that advance your long-term goals rather than satisfying short-term emotional urges. (This is particularly useful for family gatherings!) 5. The Self-Coaching Stance: Become your own compassionate coach by asking: "What would my best self do in this situation?" This creates space between stimulus and response, allowing you to align your actions with your values rather than with the emotional weather of the moment. These perspectives can be applied universally—whether you're dealing with a difficult client or the person who just cut you off in traffic. What mindsets and perspectives do you use when you feel a flair coming up? #conflict #relationships #coaching

"They're calling me all day, every day." An associate on my team was visibly frustrated managing a difficult opposing party in one of our cases. I could relate. In my career, I've had opponents and/or unrepresented plaintiffs who: • Called me repeatedly despite my explaining I'm not their attorney • Emailed senior partners at my firm when unhappy with my responses • Contacted my clients directly to complain about me • Questioned my professionalism and ethics • Raised their voice, yelled at me, and called me names • Even sued me personally for alleged "tortious conduct" When dealing with difficult opposing parties, the biggest challenge isn't legal strategy—it's managing the space between: The opposing party wants your attention. Your actual client wants minimal disruption. Here's my playbook for striking this balance: 1. Set clear boundaries early (they'll test them regardless) 2. Document everything—when emotions run high, facts get rewritten 3. Resist the urge to respond to every demand immediately 4. Be selective about what you escalate to your client 5. Remember: remaining calm isn't weakness—it's strategy The hardest skill to master? Not letting them get under your skin. I've watched attorneys lose composure when baited by difficult opponents. The moment you match their energy, you've lost control of the narrative. Instead, I've found that professional detachment combined with strategic empathy yields better outcomes. Let them feel heard without compromising your client's position. For all the litigators out there: your ability to maintain composure while zealously representing your client might be your most valuable skill. ♥️✌🏻🔥

Over the past year or two I’ve learned a clever mind trick for dealing with "difficult" client requests.   (It’s a mind trick I play on myself, not the client.)   When the client says or requests something of you that’s upsetting, frustrating or disappointing, rather than get wrapped up the feeling, use it as an alert.   And alert that a boundary might be in jeopardy and needs attention.   Here’s an example. Last year I had a client request something of me that was clearly outside the scope of our engagement.   Normally I would have wrestled with that request and maybe even acquiesced because it seemed like a good “customer service” thing to do.   That that would have led to feelings of resentment and helplessness. It may have even ruined my day.   But because I was much more aware of the boundary issue, rather than ignoring it and making a bad decision, I used that emotion as my trigger.   Don’t get me wrong. I still felt that core negative emotion. But I was able to detach enough from that emotion to see the situation more clearly.   I didn’t tell her “no,” but I gave her another option that I knew would work well for both of us—a true win/win.   She was super happy. I was happy. Everyone benefited. And I didn’t get into a negative spiral like I may have done before.   A big part of this is awareness. Just thinking about this stuff daily.   And by the way ... you don’t have to come up with solutions on the spot. You have the right to hit “pause” and tell the client you’re going to think about it and get right back to them.   It’s not about being quick on your feet. It’s about using emotions as your trigger for following a different script.   One that serves everyone much better.   #ClientManagement #EmotionalIntelligence #BoundarySetting #EffectiveCommunication #ProfessionalDevelopment  

I recently had an intense meeting with an aggressive audit client. Dealing with high-pressure situations and managing stress is part of the job. But this meeting was a lesson in patience, empathy, and strategic communication. Here are 5 invaluable lessons I learned in those exhausting 2 hours: 1. 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘀:    In face of aggressive questioning,    emotional neutrality is key.        Stick to the data, the facts,    and the audit issues. 2. 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗱, 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗰𝘁:    Emotional reactions can    escalate conflict.        A calm, collected response    can help diffuse tension. 3. 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆:    Often, aggression comes    from feeling unheard.        Active listening shows    respect for their views and    can smooth the conversation. 4. 𝗕𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝗺 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗳𝘂𝗹:    Standing your ground is critical,    but it's important to maintain respect.        Our words reflect our professional integrity. 5. 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲:    Post meeting, it's crucial to destress.        A few minutes of deep breathing,    a walk, or even a cup of tea    can help reset your emotional state. Have you faced similar situations? How do you deal with aggressive clients? ---------------------------------- Hi there, I'm Rob. I teach people (especially auditors) how to become awesome. ---------------------------------- Repost ♻️ if you found this useful Let's Connect --->Robert Berry #thatauditguy #internalaudit