Mitigating Microaggressions at Work

Dealing with persistent microaggressions at work? It's time to take action! I've got a powerful 3-step approach to address recurring subtle slights that can really wear you down. Here's how to handle ongoing microaggressions like a pro: 1) Document it 📝 -Start a private log -Note date, time, and specifics -Include witnesses, if any Why? Patterns speak louder than isolated incidents! 2) Address it in real-time (but gently) 🗣️ -When safe, speak up -Use non-confrontational phrases: "That comment didn't sit right with me." "Can we pause? That landed differently than you might have intended." This approach helps regulate the moment without escalating tension. 3) Elevate if necessary 🆙 -If behavior persists, involve HR or a trusted leader -Present your documented evidence -Focus on the impact and pattern, not just individual moments Remember, microaggressions might seem small, but their impact runs deep. By taking these steps, you're not just standing up for yourself - you're creating a more inclusive workplace for everyone. Have you dealt with recurring microaggressions at work? How did you handle them? Share your experiences below! 👇

I was minutes away from presenting the findings of a global study I’d lead-authored for one of the largest companies in the world… When a senior executive waved me over and said, “This milk is off.” I smiled politely and told him I’d let the receptionist know. His eyes widened, and he said, “Oh, I thought you WERE the receptionist.” 😠 Here’s the thing—over 50% of women have been mistaken for junior staff or janitors. For women of color, that number jumps to 58%. And it’s not just awkward, it’s corrosive! Being underestimated, spoken over, or misjudged chips away at your confidence and can even shape your career trajectory. In that moment, I had a choice: let the comment rattle me OR focus on what I came to do. I chose the latter and delivered my presentation.... But I didn't forget what happened. These moments are reminders of why we have to correct assumptions, stand our ground, and make our presence felt. Here's are some responses you can turn to in moments when someone underestimateS you: Ask Why "What made you think I was the receptionist?" Use Humor to Disarm "I’d love to help, but my milk-replacement skills are terrible—now, public speaking? That’s what I’m here for." Flip the Focus "Why is it usually the women here who get asked to do that kind of thing?" Get One-on-One Time Hanging out with someone who makes incorrect assumptions about you is probably the last thing you want to do, but spending a few minutes privately can sometimes reset how someone sees you. For example: "I wanted to flag something you said earlier. I’m here as [your role], and I want to make sure that’s clear going forward." Escalate if Needed If you continue to experience disrespect and microaggressions from a colleague, you might have to make your boss or HR aware of the situation so you can have documented evidence of how this person is treating you. You worked hard to be here. You belong in the room! And no snap judgment will change that. Image alt text: milk being poured into coffee

Here’s something I see happen often: Two colleagues are chatting over lunch, one mentions that they spent the weekend "helping out their spouse" with chores or “babysitting” their kids. While seemingly innocuous statements, the other colleague raises an eyebrow. Why? This kind of phrasing implies a predetermined division of labor, potentially reinforcing gender stereotypes, and/or displaying a resentment towards family obligations. In less than a minute, the conversation moved from jovial to tense. Words, and phrasing, matter more than you think. Being intentional with language is a game-changing tool for creating healthier relationships all around us. And since our own language is a reflection of our own values, on display for every person we meet with, it’s key to pause and give that some consideration. Why do we say things the way we do? Are we truly saying what we mean? In the workplace, unintentionally offensive language, commonly known as microaggressions, can generate misunderstandings and erode trust. It may be as simple as saying you received an "inaccurate" document from a colleague, which, without context, could cast doubt on your colleague’s work. The listener might hear, “that document was prepared improperly”, when in reality the document itself was originally accurate and is now simply outdated. How might your colleague feel in that situation when they know it was accurate, and they know that you meant that it was no longer an “accurate representation of the facts since times have changed,” but they feel exposed to the listener getting the wrong impression of their capabilities? This could also be using universal statements I often hear like, “They’re always late,” or “They never make good choices.” While many of us do this periodically when we’re venting, the consequences can be impactful. However, by consciously choosing our words, we can create a more positive and productive work environment. Here are some tips: ➡ Be mindful of assumptions. Avoid language that reinforces stereotypes or relies on gross generalizations. ➡ Focus on actions, not roles. Instead of "helping," emphasize shared responsibility. ➡ Provide context. When discussing potentially sensitive topics, offer clarity to avoid misunderstandings. ➡ Take ownership of your words. Be mindful of how your phrasing might be interpreted. ➡ If you realize you made a mistake, own it. Clear up any misunderstandings immediately. When done right, intentional language is a powerful tool for fostering collaboration and respect.

🎥 If you’re waiting for your workplace to change, you’re going to be waiting a long time. Here’s the hard truth: workplaces may promise to work toward more equitable hiring and promotion practices, but it’s up to YOU to claim your space, advocate for yourself, and create the opportunities you deserve. Especially as someone from a marginalized group, waiting for permission or a perfect environment isn’t an option. So, how do you lead and advocate for yourself in real workplace scenarios? Here are some practical tips: 1️⃣ Own Your Wins: Don’t downplay your achievements. Highlight your contributions in meetings, performance reviews, or team discussions. A simple "This project succeeded because I…" can go a long way. 2️⃣ Seek Sponsorship: Find a senior leader who can advocate for you when you're not in the room. Sponsors are critical for opening doors and amplifying your voice. 3️⃣ Document Everything: Keep track of your successes, challenges, and efforts to create change. This not only boosts your confidence but gives you hard evidence during performance reviews or when advocating for a promotion. 4️⃣ Call In, Not Out: When faced with microaggressions or bias, approach conversations with curiosity instead of confrontation. For example, “Can we explore another way of phrasing that?” invites dialogue and change. 5️⃣ Expand Your Network: Build connections both inside and outside of your organization. Networking can help you find allies, mentors, and new opportunities if your current workplace isn’t meeting your needs. 6️⃣ Push for Feedback: Proactively ask for feedback to grow and show your commitment to excellence. Questions like, “How can I elevate my work to make a greater impact?” position you as a leader. With the recent executive orders from President Trump dismantling federal DEI programs, the environment may become even more challenging for marginalized groups. You don’t need to wait for anyone to hand you permission. Start today. Take up space. Use your voice. Advocate for yourself and others. 💡 What’s one way you’ve advocated for yourself at work? Share your strategies in the comments—I’d love to hear! #BeInTheRoom #Leadership #DiversityAndInclusion #Advocacy #ClaimYourSpace #CareerGrowth #MakeTheShift