Effective Strategies for Resolving Team Conflicts

Do you feel part of a real team? Or are there moments when you feel isolated, uncertain, and disconnected, even though you're surrounded by colleagues? In the early stages of my career, I had the simplistic view that bringing together a bunch of high achievers would naturally create an outstanding team. However, the reality was quite different. Instead of creating synergy, there was noticeable discord. The team didn't seem to gel; it was akin to cogs not aligning in a machine. Every top performer, exceptional in their own right, appeared to follow their own path, often pulling in different directions. The amount of energy and time lost to internal strife was significant, and the expected outcomes? They remained just that – expected. This experience was a clear lesson that the success of a team isn't merely based on individual talent; it's about harmony, alignment, and collaboration. With today’s workplaces being more diverse, widespread, digitized, and ever-changing, achieving this is certainly challenging. So, in my quest to understand the nuances of high-performing teams, I reached out to my friend Hari Haralambiev. As a coach of dev teams who care about people, Hari has worked with numerous tech organizations, guiding them to unlock their teams’ potential. Here are his top 5 tips for developing high performing teams: 1. Be Inclusive ↳Put a structure in place so that the most vocal people don’t suffocate the silent voices. Great teams make sure minority views are heard and taken into account. They make it safe for people to speak up. 2. Leverage Conflict ↳Disagreements should be encouraged and how you handle them is what makes your team poor or great. Great teams mine for conflict - they cherish disagreements. To handle disagreements properly make sure to separate discussion from decision. 3. Decision Making Process ↳Have a clear team decision-making method to resolve conflicts quickly. The most important decision a team should make is how to make decisions. Don’t look for 100% agreement. Look for 100% commitment. 4. Care and Connect ↳This is by far the most important tip. Teams who are oriented only on results are not high-performing. You need to create psychological safety and build trust between people. To do that - focus on actually knowing the other people and to make it safe to be vulnerable in front of others. Say these 4 phrases more often: ‘I don’t know’, ‘I made a mistake’, ‘I’m sorry’, ‘I need help’. 5. Reward experimentation and risk taking ↳No solution is 100% certain. People should feel safe to take risks and make mistakes. Reward smart failure. Over-communicate that it’s better to take action and take accountability than play it safe. Remember, 'team' isn't just a noun—it's a verb. It requires ongoing effort and commitment to work at it, refine it, and nurture it. Do give Hari a follow and join over 6K+ professionals who receive his leadership comics in his newsletter A Leader’s Tale.

A recent post about Project Aristotle, our study on team effectiveness at Google, brought back a key personal learning. In that work, psychological safety, as defined and deeply researched by Amy Edmondson, emerged as the single most important factor behind team success. A key aspect of psychological safety is creating an environment where it’s safe to disagree. When we talk about conflict on teams, we often think in terms of “more” or “less.” But that framing is incomplete. What matters just as much as the presence of conflict is the quality of it. Here’s a 2x2 I find helpful, inspired by the work of Liane Davey, Priya Parker and Kim Scott. For me, the most insidious quadrant here is unhealthy peace, where surface-level harmony conceals deeper dysfunction. It often feels like saying “Sure, that works” even when your inner voice is saying “this doesn’t sit right.” You see avoidable mistakes happen. You may be in the room physically but are checked out mentally. Healthy conflict feels very different. You can disagree openly while still feeling like you belong. You walk out of a hard conversation with more clarity and more trust. You experience being stretched and challenged in a way that sharpens you and your team. So how do you know where you stand? Here are a few reflection cues that are helpful: -- Am I holding back because I want to be thoughtful, or because I’m afraid? -- Do I leave hard conversations feeling like something real got said? -- If I disagree with someone in power, do I trust they’ll listen? Like any muscle, the ability to engage in healthy conflict takes practice: -- You have to start with curiosity: “Can you help me understand how you got there?” -- You need to muster courage to name the discomfort: “This is hard to talk about, but I think it matters” -- Reflect after the disagreement: Did we learn? Did we grow? It’s one thing to have healthy conflict with peers. It’s much harder when there’s a power gap and when the person across from you controls your ratings, promotions, or future opportunities. That’s why leadership role modeling matters. If leaders don’t create environments where disagreement can be surfaced safely, they are setting their teams back. Make it easier for others to be both brave and heard -- that's the kind of leadership I've aspired to.

We’ve all experienced those team meetings that don’t go as planned.  But what if I told you there’s a powerful way to turn things around? That power is respect. I once had a team divided over a project’s direction. Instead of choosing sides, I decided to listen. 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 listen. I gave everyone my full attention and showed them that their opinions mattered. What happened next was incredible. The anger melted away. People started building on each other's ideas instead of tearing them down. We found common ground and suddenly, we weren't enemies. We were problem-solvers working towards the same goal. Respect isn’t just about being polite. It’s about truly valuing each other’s viewpoints, even when you disagree. It connects different perspectives and turns conflicts into opportunities for growth. So, the next time tensions rise, try this: 1. Create a safe space for open discussion. 2. Listen without interrupting. 3. Validate feelings, even if you disagree. 4. Look for shared goals. 5. Build on ideas instead of shooting them down. Lead with respect, and watch how it transforms your team. It’s not just about resolving one conflict. It’s about creating a culture where creativity and collaboration thrive.

Recently, a CEO client came to me frustrated. Despite having highly experienced leaders, mission-critical decisions kept getting sidelined. The elephant in the room was growing but no one was talking about it. The challenge? Slow progress because personal opinions were turning into Win/Lose. Here’s what we did to break the cycle: 1. Naming the Elephant We crafted a powerful opening statement for his next meeting: "Let's talk about the elephant that's been hanging out in the parking lot." But before the meeting, we established two critical agreements with the team: - These critical issues are a top priority that need resolution. - Clear expectations for open dialogue, ensuring that all concerns—yes, even the uncomfortable ones—are acknowledged and heard. As a CEO, true leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about building a team brave enough to hear and validate different points of view. 2. Generative Conversations Next, he introduced something I shared with him: Generative Conversations. Now, every statement must be followed with "the reason I'm saying this is..." This small shift opened up entirely new possibilities. The team discovered they could move beyond "all or nothing, this or that" thinking. Solutions emerged that honored multiple perspectives - what I call "both/and" thinking rather than an "either/or" deadlock. 3. Fist to Five Voting After setting the stage for open and honest discussions, he introduced a simple yet effective voting technique to bring clarity and transparency to team alignment: Fist: No way One finger: Need to talk Two: Have reservations Three: I'm okay with it Four: Sounds good Five: Total agreement The result? Issues stuck for months started moving forward. The team discovered that what looked like opposition was often just unexpressed concerns. Remember: Your role as a CEO or executive leader isn't to avoid conflict—it's to create conditions where necessary conflicts become productive. How many elephants are sitting in your parking lot?

WHEN TEMPERS FLARE, YOU'RE LOCKED IN A STALEMATE, OR A MULTI MILLION DOLLAR DEAL IS ON THE LINE, EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO TURNING IT AROUND. The right communication framework fosters understanding, strengthens relationships, and drives powerful results within your team. Both personally and professionally, effective communication is key to successful teamwork, conflict resolution, and collaboration. From construction to finance, from fashion to family offices, my high performance clients master the skills to navigate the toughest conversations and transform them into their biggest breakthroughs. And here’s how you can do it too: 1. FRAME THE POSITIVE INTENTION: Start with shared goals. Establish a shared purpose to align your conversation positively and maintain the focus on optimal outcomes. ➡️”We both want [a positive, uplifting relationship].” “This is about us being [happier, more productive].” A positive start encourages cooperation and a safe space for communication. 2. DESCRIBE THE OBSERVABLE: Present facts without emotional interpretation. Focus on specific events or behaviors rather than feelings. ➡️ “When [specific event] happened, I saw [specific observation].” Stick to observable facts and avoid personal interpretations to keep the conversation neutral. 3. SHARE THE FEELING: Express your emotions without blame. Own your feelings without blaming others, and invite the other person to share theirs. ➡️“We both feel [emotion].” “I feel [emotion] about [situation].” Take ownership of your feelings. Express them without pointing fingers and encourage others to do the same. 4. REQUEST THEIR PERSPECTIVE: Invite input and collaboration. Ask for the other person’s perspective to gain insight into their viewpoint. ➡️“How did you see that?” “What did you observe?” Listen actively and be open to hearing the other person’s thoughts, fostering mutual understanding. 5. MAKE THE ASK WITH BENEFIT EXTENSIONS Propose mutually beneficial solutions: Offer choices that meet both parties' needs. ➡️ “If [action] occurs, we would feel [emotion] and [emotion].” “Here are two options that work for me…” Present two acceptable options to empower the other person to contribute to the solution. 6. WORK TOGETHER TO BUILD A CONSENSUS Collaborate on finding the best solution: Work together to determine the best course of action and express appreciation when a decision is made. ➡️ “I appreciate the thought you’ve put into this. I’m glad we agreed on [decision].” By applying my effective communication framework, you foster open, respectful communication that builds trust, enhances collaboration, and contributes to team success. And the great news is that you can use this both personally and professionally! I’m curious… ~When was a time that you needed this framework in your life? #future #communication #success

Managing team conflicts, especially over a project approach, is never fun, but it's part of being a leader. How do you handle conflicts within your team? Here’s how I usually tackle it: Listen to Both Sides: Before jumping to conclusions, I make sure to hear everyone out. This also helps in getting to the root cause of the conflict. Analyze the Situation: After understanding the perspectives, I assess what's going on. Sometimes, it's not just about the project but underlying issues like communication gaps or resource constraints. Focus on Objectives: I remind the team of the overall goals and how each approach aligns with those goals. This helps to steer the conversation toward a solution, not just airing grievances. Bring in a Neutral Third-Party: If things are really heated, sometimes bringing in an unbiased opinion can really help. Decision Time: After all the discussion and analysis, a decision has to be made. I make sure it aligns as much as possible with the project goals and team’s input. Document and Communicate: Once a decision is made, I document the rationale and next steps, and make sure everyone is aware and on board. Review and Learn: After the project is completed, or the specific phase has passed, I sit down with the team to review what went well and what didn't. It's a learning opportunity for everyone. Conflict isn't always bad... sometimes it leads to better solutions. But the key is managing it effectively to ensure it doesn’t derail the project or sour relationships. #teambuilding #leadership #productivity

Great PMMs are great communicators. Yet, I've noticed many PMMs shy away from directly communicating issues/conflicts. So here is my 3-step approach to communicating conflicts: Granted, no one likes to confront others or share negative feedback. Earlier in my career, I did everything possible to skirt the problem. But that just led to simmered frustrations and resentment, creating a distrustful work environment for everyone. This is why direct communication is so important: ✅ Open, honest conversations build trust. Sharing difficult things shows our vulnerability. Doing the opposite—burying the problem or talking behind people’s backs—leads to distrust and a breakdown in psychological safety. ✅Constructive feedback is essential for personal and professional development, no matter how uncomfortable. We miss opportunities to grow and improve when we avoid giving or receiving it. This is also an essential leadership skill. ✅ Small issues can turn into significant roadblocks if not addressed. Direct communication can help dispel any misunderstandings quickly and help put the team first. ❓ So how do you confront issues directly the next time you feel someone stole your credit, the product team is keeping you in the dark, or something else? 1️⃣ Focus on the problem and not the person. Before approaching a conversation, take time to organize your thoughts. Focus on specific behaviors or outcomes you observed rather than personal attributes, and stick to the facts. 2️⃣ Choose the right time and place: Timing is everything. You can find a private and neutral setting where you can speak openly without distractions or interruptions. I recommend doing this in a 1-1, after the event has passed a bit (but don’t wait so long that the momentum is lost), so everyone can objectively reflect back on the incident. 3️⃣ Practice active listening: Approach the conversation with empathy and be ready to listen. Be open and ready to receive feedback in turn. Understanding the other person’s perspective can help you reach a mutually beneficial solution. Here is to better communications! What has worked well for you? P.S. The image is of the amazing Liz Fosslien! #productmarketing #growth #career #coaching

At Amazon, two of my top engineers had a shouting match that ended in tears. This could be a sign of a toxic workplace or a sign of passion and motivation. Whether it becomes toxic or not all comes down to how management deals with conflict. In order to deal with conflict in your team, it is first essential to understand it. A Harvard study has identified that there are 4 types of conflict that are common in teams: 1. The Boxing Match: Two people within a team disagree 2. The Solo Dissenter: Conflict surrounds one individual 3. Warring Factions: Two subgroups within a team disagree 4. The Blame Game: The whole team is in disagreement My engineers shouting at each other is an example of the boxing match. They were both passionate and dedicated to the project, but their visions were different. This type of passion is a great driver for a healthy team, but if the conflict were to escalate it could quickly become toxic and counterproductive. In order to de-escalate the shouting, I brought them into a private mediation. This is where one of the engineers started to cry because he was so passionate about his vision for the project. The important elements of managing this conflict in a healthy and productive way were: 1) Giving space for each of the engineers to explain their vision 2) Mediating their discussion so that they could arrive at a productive conclusion 3) Not killing either of their passion by making them feel unheard or misunderstood Ultimately, we were able to arrive at a productive path forward with both engineers feeling heard and respected. They both continued to be top performers. In today’s newsletter, I go more deeply into how to address “Boxing Match” conflicts as both a manager and an IC. I also explain how to identify and address the other 3 common types of team conflict. You can read the newsletter here https://lnkd.in/gXYr9T3r Readers- How have you seen team member conflict handled well in your careers?