Balancing Team Dynamics During Conflicts

They won’t speak to each other. And the tension is bleeding into the whole team. 👥 This is the first post in a new series from Rachel Platt (PLATTinum Consulting) and me, Stephanie Eidelman We’re teaming up to tackle the tough stuff: the real conflicts, missteps, and messy team dynamics no one prepares you for. 🔴One brings the business-owner reality (Stephanie). 🟡One of us brings the People & HR expertise (Rachel). Both of us believe great leadership starts with honest conversation. ______________________ Two top performers. Two different views of what’s “right.” Zero willingness to engage. And frankly, both have a point. But the silent feud is tanking the team. No one wants to take sides. No one wants to address it. But not dealing with it is the bigger risk. We’ve both seen this situation more than we’d like. After decades of experience, Here’s how we’ve learned to handle it: As the leader, you do the thing no one wants to do. You call them in. Together. You set the ground rules. They air their grievances. You all finally name the real issues. It can be excruciating. It is vulnerable. And it’s likely the most clarifying hour of the year. Not because you solve everything. But because people start sharing their truth. Here’s how each of us would make this conversation productive: 1) Set expectations 🔴 “It's not about who’s right. It’s about moving forward.” 🟡 "We all know there’s a problem. It's our job to resolve it. Right now." 2) Establish Ground Rules   🔴 “No interruptions. We’re here to listen, not attack.” 🟡 “Repeat what you heard. Clear words avoid mixed messages.” 3) Limit assumptions 🔴 “Say what happened, not what you think they meant.” 🟡 “Conflict grows from half-truths. Say ‘I saw’ or ‘I felt.'" 4) Name what’s not being said 🔴 “Is this really about the task, or something else?” 🟡 “Unclear communication? Role confusion? Workload?” 5) Shift from venting to action 🔴 “The goal here is progress, not perfect agreement.” 🟡 Use ‘Stop, Start, Continue’ to respectfully share changes each would like to see. 6) End with shared goals 🔴 “You don’t have to be close, but you do have to work together. Let's summarize next steps.” 🟡 “Schedule time to regroup. Celebrate or recalibrate at that meeting.” Final thought from Stephanie: 🔴 Avoiding conflict doesn’t protect your team. It sends a message: This behavior is fine. Final thought from Rachel: 🟡 Conflict is data. Don’t just solve it. Study it. What does it say about your communication style, team culture, and structure? Have you faced a conflict like this? What worked? What didn’t? _____________________ ♻ Repost to share this with someone facing the tough conversations. 👉 Follow us for more two-for-one leadership advice: Stephanie Eidelman (Meisel) and Rachel Platt.

Dan and Todd? They used to be best friends. But things got messy, and now they can't stand each other. Dan's ready to move on, but Todd? Not so much. Problem is, they work on the same team you manage, and now Dan's knocking on your door, hoping you'll step in and fix things. Sure, you could tell them, "Just avoid each other and carry on." Sounds easy, right? Why make two people who aren't friends anymore work together if they don't want to? But here's the catch: avoiding this issue might be an easy short-term fix, but it's not a long-term solution that actually works. In most workplaces, people can't just steer clear of each other, especially if they need to interact on the daily. So instead of hoping it all blows over, try these steps to get Dan and Todd back on the same page professionally—even if the friendship ship has sailed. Step 1: Acknowledge the drama, privately. Don't cross your fingers and hope they'll magically "work it out." Have a quick, private chat with each of them to figure out what's going on. Listening to them (without playing favorites) shows them you're taking this seriously. Step 2: Shift the focus to work goals. The end game? You want them thinking about work, not their personal beef. Remind them that the team has goals, and their collaboration matters for everyone's success (including their own). Step 3: Set some ground rules. Lay down clear expectations for communication, respect, and behavior. They don't have to be besties, but they do need to keep it professional and act with respect. That way, everyone's on the same page. Step 4: If it's still tense, bring in a mediator. Sometimes a neutral third party can get things out in the open, defuse the tension, and help them both refocus on moving forward. Step 5: Keep an eye on things. Conflict resolution is never a "one and done." Check in now and then to make sure they're meeting expectations and catching any new issues early. Bonus step: Document everything. Keep records of your conversations and any actions taken. If Todd's behavior begins to impact the team or work quality, documentation will support any future action you might need to take. Bottom line: Telling them to avoid each other sounds easy, but it's not sustainable. By helping them work through this professionally, you're building a culture of respect and collaboration—and a stronger team all around.

At Amazon, two of my top engineers had a shouting match that ended in tears. This could be a sign of a toxic workplace or a sign of passion and motivation. Whether it becomes toxic or not all comes down to how management deals with conflict. In order to deal with conflict in your team, it is first essential to understand it. A Harvard study has identified that there are 4 types of conflict that are common in teams: 1. The Boxing Match: Two people within a team disagree 2. The Solo Dissenter: Conflict surrounds one individual 3. Warring Factions: Two subgroups within a team disagree 4. The Blame Game: The whole team is in disagreement My engineers shouting at each other is an example of the boxing match. They were both passionate and dedicated to the project, but their visions were different. This type of passion is a great driver for a healthy team, but if the conflict were to escalate it could quickly become toxic and counterproductive. In order to de-escalate the shouting, I brought them into a private mediation. This is where one of the engineers started to cry because he was so passionate about his vision for the project. The important elements of managing this conflict in a healthy and productive way were: 1) Giving space for each of the engineers to explain their vision 2) Mediating their discussion so that they could arrive at a productive conclusion 3) Not killing either of their passion by making them feel unheard or misunderstood Ultimately, we were able to arrive at a productive path forward with both engineers feeling heard and respected. They both continued to be top performers. In today’s newsletter, I go more deeply into how to address “Boxing Match” conflicts as both a manager and an IC. I also explain how to identify and address the other 3 common types of team conflict. You can read the newsletter here https://lnkd.in/gXYr9T3r Readers- How have you seen team member conflict handled well in your careers?

Managing conflict in my team is never easy but it's part of the job. Handling conflict within my team is a task that comes with its set of challenges, but it's essential for keeping the team functional and happy. Here's how I typically go about running a team meeting to address conflict: 1. Recognizing the Source: First, I identify what's causing the conflict. Before we even sit down for a meeting, I pinpoint what's causing the issue by talking to everyone involved. This usually involves speaking privately with the team members involved to understand their viewpoints. 2. Establish Objectives: Before calling the meeting, I define what we aim to achieve. Is it conflict resolution, finding a middle ground, or simply airing out grievances? Knowing the objective helps structure the conversation. 3. Set Guidelines: I establish ground rules for the meeting to ensure a safe space. This includes allowing everyone to speak without interruption and keeping the conversation respectful and on-point. 4. Facilitate Dialogue: During the meeting, I act as a facilitator rather than a dictator. I guide the conversation, ensure everyone has a say, and keep the discussion focused on the issue, not personal attacks. 5. Reach an Agreement: Once everyone has had their say, we work towards a solution. This is usually a compromise that may not satisfy everyone entirely but serves the greater good of the team. 6. Action Plan: We end the meeting by laying out an action plan, defining who will do what, by when, to resolve the issue. 7. Follow-Up: A few days to a week after the meeting, I follow up with the individuals involved and the team as a whole to ensure that the action items are being implemented and to see if the conflict has been resolved or reduced. By approaching conflict with a structured, open dialogue, and a focus on resolution, I find we can often turn what could be a divisive issue into an opportunity for team growth. "The best way to resolve conflicts is facing them, not avoiding them." Have a Positive, Productive and Safe Day! #TeamConflict #ConflictResolution #Leadership #TeamGrowth #EffectiveCommunication

Scrum Master: How would you manage team conflict? Conflict is inevitable. Staying stuck is optional. Ever found yourself in the middle of a heated conversation during a Sprint Retrospective or a planning session? You’re not alone. Conflict is a sign that people care but without the right approach, it can derail progress fast. Here’s a 5-Step Conflict Resolution Framework from Harry Karydes I’ve used (and coached teams on) to turn tension into TRUST 1. Identify the Root Cause ↳ Get beyond surface-level complaints. ↳ Ask open-ended questions: “What’s really bothering you?” ↳ Separate symptoms from the real issue. 2. Acknowledge & Validate Perspectives ↳ Let each person speak without interruptions. ↳ Reflect back what you heard: “What I hear you saying is…” ↳ Validate emotions, even if you don’t agree. 3. Focus on Solutions, Not Blame ↳ Shift from “Who’s at fault?” to “What’s the best way forward?” ↳ Brainstorm options together. ↳ Align solutions with team goals. 4. Create a Clear Action Plan ↳ Define who does what by when. ↳ Set measurable steps and accountability. ↳ Write it down; verbal agreements fade. 5. Reinforce the Resolution ↳ Follow up: “Is the solution working?” ↳ Address lingering issues early. ↳ Celebrate progress to rebuild trust. Pro Tip: The BEST Scrum Masters and Agile Coaches don’t avoid conflict. They facilitate healthy resolution that strengthens the team. What’s your go-to approach when conflict surfaces in your team? Drop your thoughts or tips in the comments!

I used to lose sleep over team conflicts. I'm a natural people-pleaser. I'd do anything to keep the peace. But after 20+ years in leadership, I learned something crucial: The best teams aren't conflict-free— They're conflict-SMART. Here are 5 things every manager needs to know: 1/ The People-Pleaser's Paradox ↳ Being liked feels safe ↳ But avoiding conflict hurts your team ↳ Leadership requires comfort with discomfort 2/ Task vs. Relationship Conflict ↳ Task conflict = Productive disagreement about work ↳ Relationship conflict = Personal friction that kills teams ↳ Know the difference, encourage the first 3/ The Hidden Cost of Avoidance ↳ Teams who dodge conflict build resentment ↳ Small issues become major disruptions ↳ Every week you wait multiplies the recovery time 4/ Your Conflict Management Toolkit ↳ Schedule regular 1:1s to catch issues early ↳ Use "I noticed..." statements instead of accusations ↳ Create structured debate spaces in meetings 5/ When to Step In (And When Not To) ↳ Let task conflicts play out (with boundaries) ↳ Step in immediately for personal attacks ↳ Coach team members to address peer conflicts directly Being comfortable with conflict isn't about being aggressive. It's about creating safety for honest conversations. What's your biggest challenge in handling team conflict? Share below 👇 (Swipe ➡️ for the visual carousel version) — ♻️ Repost to help other leaders build stronger teams ➕ Follow me (Chris Laping for more leadership truths