Signs of tension vs trust in meetings

Your team doesn't trust you. Here's how I know. Count how many times this happened last week. If it's more than 3, you have a trust problem. And it's costing you more than you think. The signs are everywhere: They document every conversation with you. Not for clarity. For protection. The "Reply All" epidemic on routine emails. When people CC everyone, they're building witnesses. Meetings after your meetings are longer than the actual meetings. Real alignment happens in parking lots and Slack DMs. 💡 Reality: High-trust teams move 5x faster because they skip the CYA theater. I learned this watching a VP destroy her department in 6 months. Smart woman. Great strategist. Zero trust. Her team spent more time covering their backs than doing actual work. → Every decision required written confirmation. → Every idea needed email trails. → Every mistake triggered blame investigations. The result? Top performers fled. Innovation died. Productivity tanked. Here's what low trust actually costs: Time Tax: Everything takes 3x longer → Approval chains for minor decisions → Documentation over execution → Meetings to prepare for meetings Talent Tax: Your best people leave first → High performers won't play politics → They find leaders who trust them → You're left with those who can't leave Innovation Tax: New ideas stop flowing → Why risk anything in a low-trust environment? → People share safe ideas, not bold ones → Your competition gets your team's best thinking The trust builders that actually work: Do What You Say → Every broken promise is remembered → Small commitments matter most → Under-promise if you must, but always deliver Admit When You're Wrong → "I made a mistake" builds more trust than perfection → Take blame publicly, share credit privately → Your team already knows when you screwed up Give Real Autonomy → Stop asking for updates on everything → Let them own outcomes, not just tasks → Trust them to make decisions without you Kill the Politics → No meeting after the meeting → Say the same thing to everyone → Make decisions transparently 💡 Reality: I track trust through response time. When my team stops responding instantly to every message, I know they trust me to not micromanage. The uncomfortable truth? Your team's behavior is a mirror. If they're documenting everything, you've taught them to. If they're playing politics, you've rewarded it. If they're not taking risks, you've punished failure. Trust isn't built in team-building exercises or company retreats. It's built in small moments: → When you don't check their work → When you defend them publicly → When you keep their confidence → When you admit you don't know What trust-killing behavior have you witnessed? Share below 👇 ♻️ Repost if someone needs this reality check. Follow Carolyn Healey for more leadership truths.

Is your team quick to call out squirrels but afraid to name the elephants and cows in the room? I’ve been thinking a lot about Level 10 Meetings as a team sport. Specifically, how to boost participation from all and pull out those deeper, “on the business” issues that truly move the needle. EOS gives us a great metaphor for meeting tangents by labeling them “squirrels.” Teams are often comfortable saying “Squirrel!” (or "ELMO!" or smashing the Tangent button) whenever someone goes off-track, which keeps the meeting on point. But have you noticed that the real tension comes from the elephant in the room that no one dares call out? I’m talking about the “sacred cows” or the major challenges everyone tiptoes around. It's the stuff that's whispered about in the "meeting after the meeting": leadership blind spots, broken processes, or big trust gaps. When a team is dominated by fear, frustration, or blame, people naturally avoid naming these elephants. They start thinking: ❌ “If I bring this up, I’ll just get chewed out.” ❌ “Nothing ever changes, so why bother?” ❌ “I don’t want to look bad in front of the team.” ❌ “I’ll just let it slide. Not worth the hassle.” And that is exactly how businesses get stuck repeating the same cycles. According to Patrick Lencioni, the foundation of high performance is vulnerability-based trust - that solid base of the pyramid where team members feel safe admitting mistakes, asking for help, and challenging each other’s ideas without fear of retaliation. Without that trust, people will always default to self-protection. They keep their heads down, brush off real issues, and hope someone else will speak up. Conversations will stay shallow. Issues will continue to pop up. So, why are we so quick to point out “Squirrel!” but afraid to name the “Elephant" or the "Cow"? It's human nature, I guess - one seems small, harmless, and often even playful, while the other represents major, sensitive issues that feel risky to address. Yet it’s precisely those cows and elephants that keep teams from having the powerful, solution-driven discussions that Level 10 Meetings are designed to spark. Some food for thought as you head into your next Level 10. Keep working as a team to make it a great one.

The Most Critical Success Metric in Clinical Trials is the One That Often Doesn’t Get Tracked. You can’t measure it easily but you can spot it if you’re paying attention. It’s trust. I’ve worked with teams where trust was strong. CROs raised risks early. Stakeholders surfaced concerns before they became issues. Vendors felt like true partners. These programs didn’t run perfectly, but challenges showed up early enough to fix. I’ve also seen the opposite. Teams where trust was missing. Vendors stayed quiet, worried that raising risks would be seen as failure. Updates were polished for leadership, while the real issues remained buried, unspoken and unresolved. On paper, both programs looked fine. Dashboards were green. Budgets were on track. But in one, trust created early alignment. In the other, hidden issues snowballed into missed milestones and costly escalations. That’s why I treat trust as a leading indicator. When meetings feel guarded, it’s often a sign people don’t feel safe raising concerns. When vendors go quiet, they may be managing perception instead of risk. And, when every update sounds rehearsed, you’re likely hearing what’s safe instead of what’s real. By the time the metrics catch up, the real damage may already be done. Trust is a strategic asset and here’s how you can build it actively: - Ask vendors if they feel comfortable raising risks early - Listen closely: are meetings surfacing real issues, or just safe status updates? - Model transparency and accountability, so others feel safe doing the same Budgets and timelines tell you where the program is. Trust tells you where it’s headed.

Ever felt unsure about what a colleague really meant? Or maybe you sensed they weren’t being completely honest with you? A while back, I worked with a team struggling with tension. One leader told me, “I don’t know if my team members actually mean what they say.” Another team member confided, “I feel like people here say one thing but do another.” The frustration was real. Meetings were full of polite nods, but once they ended, nothing moved forward. Everyone tiptoed around issues instead of addressing them. And when things went wrong? Fingers pointed in every direction. The real issue? A lack of sincerity. When sincerity is missing, misunderstandings grow, trust weakens, and conflict is inevitable. Without it, conversations feel like a game of guessing intentions instead of working together. One moment stood out—after yet another miscommunication, a senior team member finally snapped, “Why can’t we just say what we mean?” The room fell silent. It wasn’t that people didn’t want to be honest. They just didn’t feel safe enough to do so. Sincere conversations clear up confusion before it turns into tension. It’s not just about being nice—it’s about being honest, open, and transparent. Why does sincerity matter? Research shows that teams with open, sincere communication resolve conflicts faster and perform better. In Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, the authors emphasize how genuine, honest conversations create a safe space for addressing difficult issues. When sincerity is present, teams feel more secure, trust strengthens, and conflicts don’t escalate—they get solved. How to Build Sincerity in Your Team: 1️⃣ Set the Standard – Define what sincerity looks like in your team: being upfront, transparent, and following through on commitments 2️⃣ Encourage Open Feedback – Create a space where team members can speak honestly without fear of backlash 3️⃣ Match Words with Actions – If someone commits to something, they follow through. If plans change, they communicate early. Trust is built on consistency This is part of the COMBThrough series, where we help teams untangle real challenges and strengthen collaboration. When sincerity becomes the norm, teams communicate better, trust grows, and conflicts shrink. What’s your experience with sincerity in the workplace? Love to learn from you. ********************************************************************************* Hi! I’m Cassandra Nadira. I help teams unlock their potential to increase performance with proven tools and practices. 🚀 Let’s strengthen your team: ✅ Workshops & Trainings – Build self-awareness and leadership agility ✅ Custom Programs – Enhance team dynamics and performance ✅ Speaking Engagements – Inspire with actionable insights 📩 Let’s connect—message me to explore how we can work together!

🤝 𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐯𝐬. 𝐄𝐧𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞 😡 A management review meeting is meant to foster collaboration, but sometimes, emotions take over logic. I recall a moment in a high-stakes review where a senior leader questioned a project delay. The project manager, feeling cornered, reacted defensively, raising his voice and shifting blame. The room tensed up, and what could have been a productive discussion turned into a battle of egos. Instead of engagement, the conversation led to frustration. Instead of solutions, it led to justifications. Instead of trust, it bred resentment. Contrast this with another instance where a leader, facing a similar delay, asked with genuine curiosity: "I understand there are challenges. What support do you need to resolve this?" The shift in tone changed everything. The team felt heard, ideas flowed, and within days, a revised plan was in place. 😠 Anger in discussions might feel momentarily satisfying, but it rarely leads to progress. True leadership lies in engaging, not enraging. A composed question can unlock solutions, while an outburst can shut doors. The next time tensions rise, ask yourself: 👉 Do I want to engage or enrage? 👉 How do you handle difficult conversations? #Leadership #Communication #ConflictResolution #ManagementLessons Image Source : Pexel

Why Team Conflicts Don’t Get Resolved— And What Actually Works A leader once told me: “They all smile in meetings. But I can feel the tension. No one’s really talking. And when they do? It’s surface-level. I keep addressing the issue —but it’s like nothing sticks.” The truth? The problem is never the problem. What's happening underneath is the issue. Here’s what I helped him see: — They didn’t feel safe enough to be honest (Connection) — Their roles and expectations had gotten blurred (Definition) — Resentment was piling up without being expressed (Integration) — And collaboration had turned into competition (Collaboration) That’s why most conflict resolution fails. It’s not about finding the perfect solution. It’s about restoring the Core 4 Capacities that make resolution possible: Connection → Create space to speak the unspoken Definition → Clarify who’s doing what—and why it matters Integration → Surface the emotions that quietly sabotage progress Collaboration → Rebuild trust by aligning around shared goals Conflict isn’t a problem to fix. It’s an invitation: ↳to grow stronger ↳to learn to listen ↳to be present ↳to lead ✳️ If your team is stuck in silent tension, let’s talk about rebuilding what matters most. ----- 💡 Follow Julia LeFevre for more Leadership content 📢 DM or email me at julia@braverestoration.org ♻️ Repost to share with your network

“I don’t get it—we have all the right people. But something’s off.” Sound familiar? I’ve coached teams that look great on paper: ✅ Strong talent ✅ Clear roles ✅ Impressive goals But beneath the surface, there’s a trust gap. Here’s what that can look like: - Silence when it’s time to challenge an idea - Side conversations after the meeting - Reluctance to admit mistakes or ask for help The work gets done, but not the real work. The kind that requires risk, debate, and shared accountability. Fixing the trust gap doesn’t require trust falls. It requires space to be honest and facilitation that makes it safe to do so. Because psychological safety isn’t a vibe. It’s a practice. ----------- ☕ Want to surface what’s not being said? Let’s create space for that: https://lnkd.in/gGJjcffw #TeamDynamics #PsychologicalSafety #TrustAtWork #ExecutiveCoaching #LeadGrowThrive #TheWorkIsTheWay

In my house, silence is suspicious. With four kids, quiet usually means someone is coloring on a wall or flushing something that was never meant to be flushed. In that world, noise is healthy. It means engagement. It means curiosity. It means life is happening out loud. But in professional settings? Same thing, honestly. Silence in a meeting. Silence after a pitch. Silence instead of challenge. At first glance, it feels like agreement. But often, it’s actually hesitation. Disengagement. Or even quiet frustration. Here’s the truth I’ve had to learn and relearn: Just because no one’s disagreeing doesn’t mean everyone’s aligned. As leaders, as teammates, as people building something worth building we can’t mistake disagreement for disloyalty, or silence for buy-in. The best teams I’ve been part of in courtrooms, boardrooms, or around the dinner table don’t avoid tension. They navigate it. They understand that real trust means the freedom to challenge ideas without it feeling personal. That listening doesn’t mean agreeing. And that when people stop speaking up, it’s not a sign of harmony… …it’s a sign of something breaking underneath. So let the conversations happen. Even the uncomfortable ones. Especially the uncomfortable ones. Because culture isn’t built in the quiet. It’s built in the noise. #Leadership #TeamCulture #CommunicationMatters #ListenToUnderstand #PsychologicalSafety #TrialLawyerThoughts #FamilyAndFirm