Leadership Reflection Workshops

When Is a brilliant jerk just a jerk? Why do we tolerate people who deliver results but leave chaos in their wake? Having worked in recruitment for years, I’ve seen it time and again: companies excuse flawed leaders simply because they’re high performers. Often, these individuals are promoted beyond their capabilities, amplifying their negative impact on their teams. I’ve frequently questioned how these behaviours align with our stated company values. Why do managers “turn a blind eye.” overlooking poor conduct simply because ‘Sam’ bills over $1 million a year? One of my more memorable career experiences involved a former CEO who loved quoting a famed All Blacks rugby player's book: “Guys, we have a no d**kheads policy here,” he’d proudly declare. Yet, as people shuffled out of the board room, whispers of his behaviour would follow. Ironically, he was perhaps the biggest d**khead in the company—a textbook brilliant jerk. Unchecked, these individuals kill company culture, sap morale, and erode trust. I know this all too well because I’ve been there. Looking back on my early leadership days, I cringe. Was I that jerk? The reflection hurt. But it’s true. I was a jerk. I needed to change. I recognised that leadership is more than results. Empathy. Communication. Adaptability. Emotional intelligence. Compassion. These aren’t just “soft skills” – they’re essential for thriving in the workplace and growing as a leader. The good news. You can develop them too. But one often overlooked skill is reflection. If you are serious about your leadership, you must "hold up the mirror." Self-reflection is the foundation for personal and professional growth. It allows you to: -- Assess your strengths, weaknesses, and behaviours. -- Identify blind spots. -- Make better decisions and solve problems more effectively. -- Stay aligned with your core values and goals. Research shows that the habit of reflection separates extraordinary leaders from mediocre ones. I’d go so far as to argue that it’s the cornerstone of all other leadership skills. Reflection takes courage. It’s intentional. Deliberate. Thoughtful. Reflection is a practice. You can make it a daily habit—a ritual. Yet reflection isn’t easy. It’s uncomfortable and ego-bruising. But it’s also necessary. Great leaders don’t just learn from their successes—they mine their failures for insights, using the lessons to shape a better future. Being at the “top of your game” only comes when you extract how to engage the future from your past. But go easy on yourself. Excellence comes from falling, standing up, and dusting yourself off. Study those failures, and you’ll be less likely to trip again. Flawed leaders will always exist, but without self-reflection, you might become one of them. Don’t let brilliance turn into arrogance. Instead, commit to growing into the kind of leader who elevates both results and relationships. You need reflection to avoid ending up being a jerk.

“I must be brave.” Those were the first words I said in a room full of leaders in Christchurch. The only Indian in the room, delivering a workshop on Leading with Impact. Followed by my health & safety disclaimer: “I have ADHD & I have no filters. And I’ll be sharing what is — as is. I don’t sugar-coat.” That got a laugh. But what followed was real. Because we started where all leadership should begin: With psychological safety. Not just for your team. But for you. You can’t lead with impact if you don’t feel safe inside your own skin. We didn’t start with hacks or frameworks. We started with the hard stuff — the human stuff: ➡️ Psychological safety and leading through conflict ➡️ Healthy boundaries that protect your energy and your mana ➡️ The courage to say “NO” without guilt ➡️ The strength to hold difficult conversations with clarity and compassion Because leadership isn’t about your title. It’s about: -How you speak to yourself -What you tolerate -What you model when no one’s watching We went deep and honest. We talked about the parts of leadership that don’t show up on the KPI report, but absolutely shape the team culture. I asked everyone to notice when judgment showed up, to add a question mark at the end. Because “Judgment and curiosity are never in the same place.” We chose curiosity coz that's the only way you grow and know About ourselves About others About the systems we lead within This was the first of four cohorts on this journey. We’re not ticking boxes. We’re redefining how leadership feels. So if you're in a leadership role, ask yourself: 💭 Do people feel safe to speak the truth around me? 💭 Do I feel safe to speak the truth to myself? Because trust, belonging, and innovation? They’re not built in strategy decks. They’re built in everyday moments of psychological safety. #LeadingWithImpact #PsychologicalSafety #CourageousLeadership

Real learning doesn’t happen in slides and lectures. It happens in safe spaces where people reflect, admit, and grow. In one of my recent workshops, I noticed something powerful. The participants weren’t just answering questions. - They were opening up. - Sharing stories of frustration, anger, and even self-doubt — things they rarely voice at work. One of them said: “I realized I never show my anger in office. I keep it inside, only to release it later while jogging or running. For the first time here, I could admit that openly.” Another spoke about how taking a simple six-second pause changed how he showed up with his team. Others reflected on how their own mindset was holding them back more than the system. These weren’t just techniques being discussed. They were transformations in real time. It struck me — this doesn’t happen by accident. It happens when you create a safe space. A container where people feel respected, not judged. Where reflection is encouraged, and stories are welcomed. That’s the hidden role of a facilitator. Not to provide all the answers, but to hold a mirror — and give people the courage to look into it. So what does it take to create such a space? Here are 3 things I keep in mind: 1) Model vulnerability first – when you share honestly, others follow. 2) Listen without judgment – silence can sometimes be more powerful than advice. 3) Ask questions, don’t impose answers – transformation happens when people discover their own truth. Workshops don’t transform people. Safe spaces do. It’s the facilitator’s job to build them. What’s one thing you’ve seen a facilitator or leader do that instantly made you feel safe to share openly? Follow me for more real stories and insights on leadership, learning, and growth.

For years, I operated on the leadership hamster wheel—constantly busy. The skill most overwhelmed leaders overlook… Reflection. --- Why Reflection Changes Things --- ① It transforms reactive thinking into responsive leadership ② It turns pressure points into growth opportunities ③ It creates space between stimulus and response ④ It converts experience into expertise ⚡ The data confirms it –  Harvard Business research showed employees who reflected for just 15 minutes daily performed 23% better after only 10 days. Many leaders dismiss reflection as "nice to have" when they're drowning in demands. Yet it's precisely when we feel most overwhelmed that reflection delivers its greatest value. ---- Reflection Questions for the Overwhelmed Leader ---- 🔸What specifically is making me feel overwhelmed? How do I respond when feeling overwhelmed? What is the impact of that reaction? 🔸What one task, if completed, would alleviate the most stress this week? 🔸Where am I spending time that doesn't align with my top priorities? 🔸Which responsibilities can I delegate or postpone without significant consequences? 🔸What's one thing I can do differently next week to feel less overwhelmed? Reflection isn't just passive contemplation—it's an active practice that drives results. When I committed to regular reflection, I didn't just feel better about my challenges—I developed specific strategies to overcome and manage them. My leadership didn't change overnight, but with practice my approach transformed. 💡 Block 15 minutes this week for structured reflection using these questions. 

The ultimate guide to creating transformational workshop experiences (Even if you're not a natural facilitator) Ever had that gut-punch moment after a workshop where you just know it didn’t land? I’ve been there. Back then, I thought great workshops were all about cramming in as much content as possible. You know what I mean: - Slides with inspirational quotes. - The theory behind the frameworks. - More activities than a summer camp schedule… Subconsciously I believed that: The more I shared, the more people would see me as an expert. The more I shared, the more valuable the workshop. And participants would surely walk away transformed. Spoiler: they didn’t. They were hit-and-miss. But then on a leadership retreat in 2016, I stumbled onto something that changed everything. Something so obvious it's almost easy to miss. But when you intentionally use them, it took my workshops from "meh" to "mind-blowing": Three simple principles: 1️⃣ Context-based Learning People don't show up as blank slates. They bring their own experiences, challenges, and goals. When I started anchoring my content in their reality, things clicked. Suddenly, what I was sharing felt relevant and useful — like I was talking with them instead of at them. 2️⃣ Experiential Learning Turns out, people don’t learn by being told. They learn by doing (duh). When I shifted to creating experiences, the room came alive. And participants actually remembered what they’d learned. Experiences like roleplays, discussions, real-world scenarios, the odd game... 3️⃣ Evocative Facilitation This one was a game-changer. The best workshops aren’t just informative — they’re emotional. The experiences we run spark thoughts and reactions. And it's our job to ask powerful questions to invite reflection. Guiding participants to their own "aha!" moments to use in the real world. (yup, workshops aren't the real world) ... When I started being intentional with these three principles, something clicked. Participants started coming up to me after sessions, saying things like: "That’s exactly what I needed." "I feel like you were speaking directly to me." "I’ve never felt so seen in a workshop before." And best of all? Those workshops led to repeat bookings, referrals, and clients who couldn’t wait to work with me again. Is this the missing piece to your expertise? - If so, design experiences around context. •Facilitate experiences that evoke reactions •Unpack reactions to land the learning ♻️ Share if you found this useful ✍️ Do you use any principles to design your workshops?

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬… 𝐟𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬? One year ago, I worked with a super brilliant cohort of senior leaders at a leading bank on 𝑬𝒙𝒆𝒄𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒉-𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒃𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔. Last week, we regrouped online for a post-program group huddle. And what unfolded was a wake-up call. These were accomplished, committed senior bankers . Yet even they admitted: Without this check-in, many of the breakthroughs from last year might’ve been lost. The pressures of day-to-day execution. Board meetings. Targets. Fatigue. All of it slowly erodes the inspiration, clarity, and confidence leaders gain during development programs. What was designed as a 60-minute reflection turned into a 2 hours flood of stories, self-awareness, and renewed conviction. We spoke openly about what had shifted and what had slipped. And one thing became crystal clear: If you don’t reinforce the learning, you risk losing the impact. And when that happens, leadership ROI drops. Morale dips. Behavioural change stalls. But here’s the good news: One conversation done right can reignite everything. We didn’t just talk about strategy or execution. We shared stories. Stories of growth, tough calls, inner critics, and unexpected wins. Because stories don’t just inspire—they anchor learning. They reconnect leaders to purpose. And each other. 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐇𝐑, 𝐋&𝐃, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫: Without reinforcement, even the best learning decays A simple follow-up can revive insights and accelerate progress Vulnerability among leaders deepens influence, not weakens it Real change sticks when leaders revisit and retell their own stories Peer connection is not a bonus—it's a multiplier for ROI 𝐒𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: What are you doing 6–12 months after your leadership program ends? Because that might be the difference between a great workshop… and lasting transformation. #LeadershipDevelopment #ExecutivePresence #LeadershipGrowth #LeadershipROI

I just wrapped up a incredible leadership growth training and I am so glad that I took the time to step back, reflect and discuss with leaders from across the Merck Group about how to grow as a leader. It has reinforced a belief I hold deeply: leadership is not just about driving results—it’s about the impact we have on people and organizations. Let me share a few of my key reflections: ✅ Leadership is a choice – No one is entitled to it. It’s a daily decision to step up, own challenges, and commit to growth and enjoy the leadership journey with all facets. ✅ Leadership is a responsibility – Every decision we make shapes business outcomes, culture, and people. The shadow we cast—positive or negative, intended or unintended—extends far beyond us. As long as we lead, we must do so responsibly. ✅ Provide a clear vision, but empower your team – In times of uncertainty, people look to leaders for clarity and direction. Strong leadership means creating a sense of strong purpose, and paint clear vision for the future, ensuring teams feel supported, but at the same time empower your team to contribute to the vision and take accountability. ✅ Be authentic and show your vulnerability but instill confidence – acknowledging challenges, admitting when you don’t have all the answers, and being open about uncertainties and share your true feelings foster trust. However, in difficult times, leaders must provide reassurance, maintain composure, and instill confidence in the ability of your team. This training was a powerful reminder of the impact we leave behind as leaders. It’s a question I’ll keep asking myself: What kind of impact am I making? Now, I’d love to hear your thoughts: what do you expect from a leader? #Leadership #Growth #Reflections #Authenticity #Vision #Confidence

Reflections. When do you do them during your sessions? Do you wait until the very end? Sure, that is one way — it's not the only way. I love to do mini-reflections after activities. Or spread them throughout. Here's some ways to do that! I Like, I Wish ↳ Use a quick 3-5 minute I Like, I Wish — for this piece because it's so quick you can take off the "I Wonder" that is usually part of this activity. Use it directly after an activity, build it into your virtual board, or use it for an in-person workshop. Duck Pond ↳ Use something physical in an in-person workshop to see where people are throughout the sessions for a vibe check. ↳ Here's one I've used before: have people use their *duck* from their Lego activity where we built ducks as a warm-up, and place them in certain parts of a pong image you set up on a flat table (parts of the pond might say *relaxed* *Keeping my head above water* *feel like I'm sinking*, etc ↳ Have people move their ducks to the part of the pond that represents what they feel at any point in the workshop — you can also set designated times to send them to the pond. It can be anonymous, OR you can have people use a strip of sticky note under the duck with their name These are just a few reflection activities to get you started. I'd love to hear your thoughts and learn about the reflection activities you use. Share your ideas in the comments below! 💜 --- Found this useful? 🔄 Repost for your network. 🎉 Want to work with me to build custom reflection activities for your workshops?! Reach out!

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 . . . 🔷As a manager and leader, whether you're just starting out or you’ve been in the game for years, you know that the decisions you make every day can have lasting effects. But how often do you stop to reflect on how those decisions are made—especially when they don’t go as planned? 👇Before diving into your next big decision, ask yourself: ❓What past decisions didn’t turn out the way I expected? ❓Am I repeating the same approach, hoping for different results? ❓How can I use past experiences to improve my current decision-making? 💡In our rush for efficiency, we often move quickly, believing that speed will bring results. But true efficiency comes from intentional reflection—slowing down to mine the lessons hidden in past decisions, even when those decisions didn’t work out. 👉Here are some key steps you can take to improve your decision-making by learning from past experiences: 1️⃣ 𝗖𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗺. Before jumping to solutions, make sure you're addressing the right issue. Don’t let assumptions or desired outcomes cloud your understanding of what’s actually at stake. 2️⃣ 𝗜𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘆 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻. Stress can cloud judgment and reinforce biases. By understanding what’s triggering your stress, you can prevent it from skewing your decision-making process. 3️⃣ 𝗔𝗻𝗮𝗹𝘆𝘇𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻’𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗼𝘂𝘁. Choose a few decisions that didn’t go as planned. What went wrong? Were there warning signs you ignored? This reflection will help you avoid similar mistakes. 4️⃣ 𝗔𝗰𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲. Every decision comes with assumptions. Looking back, what assumptions led to poor outcomes? Did you rely on incomplete information, or overlook key factors? 5️⃣ 𝗔𝗽𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘀𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. Use what you’ve learned from past mistakes to make adjustments to your current decision. What new approaches can you take to get a better outcome? 6️⃣ 𝗗𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽 𝗮 𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗻. After reflecting on your past and current decision, create a strategy that addresses the lessons learned. Ensure your approach incorporates new insights to avoid repeating mistakes. 🪴Mistakes are not failures—they’re opportunities for growth. By taking the time to reflect on past decisions, you gain the insight needed to make more informed and confident choices in the future. 💫Remember, slowing down and reflecting is not a sign of inefficiency, but a strategy for long-term success. Ask yourself: 𝘈𝘮 𝘐 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘭𝘺 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵, 𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘮 𝘐 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘧𝘶𝘭, 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘴?