How to Embrace Imperfection in Professional Life

I had set unrealistic high standards for my team. It was silencing them and hurting my reputation as a leader. (Perfectionism was harming my career. Here's what I did👇🏻) Years ago, after an API review meeting, one of my reports said something that still rings in my ears, "Whenever I bring you early ideas, they get dissected for edge cases. So I wait until I have everything figured out." It took me some time to learn how perfectionism rewires how teams and orgs think: - Teams kill promising ideas before they reach leadership (great ideas down the drain) - Innovation arrives armored, not alive - "High standards" push people to show up polished, not authentic Leadership has a deep paradox: As you rise in leadership, esp in tech, your perfectionism is celebrated. Your polished presence in exec meetings becomes your brand. Psychological safety and ideas sparring take a backseat. 😔 I was unknowingly destroying an incredibly strong team. I adopted 4 words and it changed the game: "Let's figure it out." The change? ↳ The team wasn't driven by fear, but rather by excitement to build interesting stuff. ↳ The team felt comfortable because their leader had their back. Breakthroughs are messy. Not streamlined. Not efficient. Breakthroughs happen when there are no boundaries. ★ Your next step: In your next 3 meetings, catch yourself wanting perfection. Instead, say "This is messy, and that's exactly where breakthroughs start." ——— 🔔 Follow me, Bosky Mukherjee, for more insights on breaking barriers for women in product and tech leadership. #productmanagement #productgrowth #womeninproduct #leadership

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽? "Leaders must have all the answers." I recently coached a brilliant C-suite executive who spent 70% of her energy hiding what she didn't know. As a queer woman in leadership, she felt crushing pressure to be twice as perfect. Her breakthrough came from a simple truth: 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻'𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆'𝗿𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁. Here's the leadership paradox that's killing innovation: 📌 The more flawless you appear, the less connected you become 📌 The more infallible you seem, the less trust you build 📌 The more superhuman you act, the less human you feel to others Harvard's research is clear: Psychological safety — the #1 predictor of team performance — dies in cultures of perfectionism. 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗮 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗼𝗻𝗲. 4 practical ways to trade perfectionism for presence: 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 ↳ Start meetings with "Here's what I'm still figuring out..." ↳ Share your learning journey, not just your victories 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘂𝗿𝗲 ↳ Ask "What did we learn?" before "How do we fix it?" ↳ Celebrate the courage to try, not just successful outcomes 𝗜𝗻𝘃𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁 ↳ Replace "Any questions?" with "What am I missing?" ↳ Thank people publicly for challenging your thinking 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 ↳ Normalize reflection with "Let me think about that" ↳ Show that leadership includes listening The results I've seen when leaders embrace this approach: • 2-3x increase in team innovation • Dramatically higher psychological safety • More diverse voices in decision-making • Authentic connections that drive performance 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵? Your team already knows you're not perfect. They're waiting to see if you're present. 🔥 Question for leaders: What might become possible if you stopped trying to be flawless and started being real? Share your experience below 👇 P.S. For more on building psychological safety through radical kindness, check out my Field Notes newsletter (LINK IN BIO)

In which of these 2 scenarios, will a sales rep sell more blenders? a) She nails the demo, flawlessly blending a smoothie in front of potential customers b) Same exact pitch, but when she pours the smoothie, she spills it all over the table Dr. Richard Wiseman conducted this exact study. More people bought the blender when she made an absolute mess. This phenomenon is called the "other shoe effect." The underlying principle: We instinctively know people aren’t perfect. So when someone appears too polished in high-stakes moments—job interviews, pitches, first dates—part of our brain asks: “What are they hiding? When does the other shoe drop?” The longer someone appears flawless, the more suspicious we get. This creates a dangerous cycle: • You try to appear perfect in the first impression • The other person's brain gets increasingly distracted wondering about your hidden flaws • When your imperfection finally shows (and it will), it hits much harder than if you'd acknowledged it upfront I learned this the hard way. When I first wrote Captivate, I tried to sound like an academic. My editor called it out: “This doesn’t sound like you.” So I rewrote the intro to be me, very me in a vulnerable way: “Hi, I’m Vanessa. I’m a recovering awkward person.” That vulnerability built instant trust. By dropping my shoe early, I built trust immediately and let readers know they were in good company. This is also how I introduce myself in conversations, and I have noticed everyone laughs and relaxes when I say it. There are a couple situations where you can actively use this effect: • Job interviews: After sharing your strengths, say "One area I’m still growing in is public speaking—which is why this role excites me." • Investor pitches: After a strong open, confess: "One challenge we’re still working through is [X], and here’s how we’re tackling it." • Team meetings: Proactively raise project risks, then offer a solution. Don’t let others discover it first. Rules to remember: • Choose authentic vulnerabilities, not fake ones • Drop your shoe AFTER establishing competence, not before • Pair vulnerability with accountability - show how you're addressing it Remember: The goal isn't to appear perfect. It's to appear trustworthy. And trustworthy people acknowledge their imperfections before others have to discover them.

I need to get better at being worse at my job. Here’s why: I hate making mistakes. I have unreasonably high standards. And (I cringe to type this) I just want to be the best at everything I do. If reading that made you tired, you’re right: perfectionism is exhausting. Maintaining constant high standards takes time and emotional commitment and causes stress. Just as bad is that perfectionism interferes with my relationships. I tend to hold those around me to the same high standards (MY standards, not THEIRS). So when they (reasonably) fail to meet the standards, I can get resentful and impatient. My creativity suffers too. When I’m focused on being the best, I get way too “heads down” and miss what’s happening around me. I know this perfectionist habit will not be easy to break, but I’m determined to start the process by asking myself these five questions: 1. How can I make this task less stressful? ➡️ Rather than “how can I do this perfectly?” I’m asking, “what could I do to make this easier?” For example, I’ve started giving myself time limits for how long I’ll work on a project, or outsourcing parts of it to others. 2. Is that mistake the end of the world? ➡️ I guarantee it’s not. So stop pretending it is (Amy!). 3. Are you being nice to yourself? ➡️ When it’s time to review work I remind myself that I’m not perfect and that’s OK. 4. Can I lower my standard and still be satisfied with the outcome? ➡️ Chances are yes. What would the end result look like if I dialed it back 10 or 20%? 5. Am I ruminating or problem solving? ➡️ Sometimes when I overthink something I convince myself that it’s helpful. Now I ask myself if I’m solving a problem or just spinning. 🌟 On avoiding “compound perfectionism”: The sneaky thing about perfectionism is that it makes me want to be perfect at not being perfect. (A gift that keeps on giving!) So while these questions are meant to help me change my habits, I do NOT want them to become another unreasonably high standard. So if (just kidding, when) I forget to ask myself these questions, I have to let it go. I have to say: “It’s okay, Amy. You’re doing really well. You’re learning new habits, and it takes time to change. I’m proud of you for trying something new and challenging.” Here’s to being worse at my job(s), from writing to parenting and everything in between. Are you with me? (And for more on this, see the link in the comments.)

Perfectionism is a progress killer.⁣ ⁣ And as a high-achieving woman in a male-dominated industry, I know how much you pride yourself on precision, productivity, and high standards.⁣ ⁣ It’s likely one of the reasons you struggle to delegate you wish you could duplicate yourself just to get things done right.⁣ ⁣ But here’s the truth about life and leadership: humans are involved.⁣ ⁣ And it’s your reaction to human imperfections whether your own or someone else’s that drains your mental energy and slows your momentum.⁣ ⁣ Perfectionism doesn’t just stall your growth it stalls your team’s too.⁣ ⁣ Because if you're anxious about making mistakes, hesitant to take action, or constantly over-polishing your work, that’s exactly what you're modeling to your people.⁣ ⁣ You're teaching them to second-guess, hesitate, and fear failure.⁣ ⁣ But leadership isn’t about being flawless. It’s about being resilient, adaptable, and human.⁣ ⁣ So here’s your shift, mujer:⁣ ⁣ ✨ Strive for excellence but stop demanding perfection.⁣ ⁣ ✨ Be patient with your process so your people learn to grow through theirs.⁣ ⁣ ✨ Be curious about mistakes, not critical.⁣ ⁣ Because when you loosen your grip on perfection, you unlock confidence, creativity, and a deeper sense of joy in the work you do.⁣ ⁣ And that’s when real leadership happens.⁣

Perfectionism is a trap—and resilience is the way out. For years, I thought being “perfect” would protect me: from failure, from criticism, from feeling not enough. I triple-checked emails. Rehearsed presentations in my sleep. Held my breath waiting for praise… or disapproval. But here's what I’ve learned—perfectionism doesn’t lead to excellence. It leads to burnout, self-doubt, and fear of showing up as we are. Resilience, on the other hand, invites us to: - Learn from mistakes instead of hiding them - Take action even when we’re uncertain - Trust that growth > flawless execution The most powerful leaders I know aren’t perfect. They’re present, adaptable, and real. So if you’ve been holding your breath… waiting to get it all right before you speak, share, or lead— You’re not alone. But maybe it’s time to exhale. Progress > perfection. Resilience > rigidity. Let’s keep growing—imperfectly, together. #Perfectionism #Leadership #GrowthMindset =========================== Lucy Chen, speaker, author, publisher, and human potential coach Follow me at https://lnkd.in/g7Eu62FJ #BuildResilience #Speaker #GiftedCoaching #GiftedBooks

In a world where professionalism often equates to a polished facade, I've learned that authenticity is the truest form of currency. The more attention we put on cultivating a perfect image, the fewer genuine connections we foster. Too often, the pressure to conform and perform can lead us to suppress our true selves and mislead us to gauge every decision or accomplishment against external benchmarks of success. But real leadership requires us to set our own benchmarks. Real leadership calls for the understanding that our imperfections are not liabilities, but the very traits that make us relatable, that humanize us in the eyes of our teams. As we navigate the complexities of leadership, let's commit to being leaders who value real people doing their best over perfection. Let's have the courage to show up as we are, to share our true selves with our teams. By doing so, we not only liberate ourselves from the exhausting endeavor of “impression management” but also empower those around us to do the same. When leaders embrace their unique leadership style, share their journey with all its ups and downs, a culture of authenticity flourishes. In such a culture, creativity is not just encouraged; it's inevitable. Because when people feel safe to be themselves, that's when the magic happens. #leadership #redefineprofessionalism

"We are not perfect, nor should we pretend to be, but it is necessary to be the best version of ourselves we can be." Here are three short ways to apply this in your own life: 1) Embrace Mistakes as Learning Opportunities: Instead of hiding or feeling ashamed of your imperfections, view them as chances to grow. For example, if you miss a work deadline, don’t pretend it didn’t happen—acknowledge it, apologize if needed, and identify how to manage your time better next time. This helps you improve without the pressure of perfection. 2) Set Realistic Goals for Self-Improvement: Focus on progress by setting small, achievable goals that align with your values. If you want to be more patient, practice deep breathing during stressful moments or commit to listening fully before responding in conversations. Celebrate incremental growth rather than aiming for flawless behavior. 3) Be Authentic in Relationships: Stop pretending to have it all together and share your true self with others. If you’re struggling with a challenge, like feeling overwhelmed, admit it to a friend or loved one. This vulnerability fosters deeper connections and allows you to focus on becoming a better version of yourself through honest support and feedback. Moving Forward... This quote encapsulates a philosophy of self-acceptance and personal growth. It acknowledges the inherent imperfection of humanity—our flaws, mistakes, and limitations—while rejecting the pressure to hide them. Pretending to be perfect often stems from societal expectations or fear of judgment, but this facade can lead to inauthenticity, stress, and disconnection. Instead, the quote encourages embracing our imperfections as a natural part of being human, fostering vulnerability and genuine self-expression.

Perfectionism is just a fancier version of procrastination. It keeps you busy, but stuck with planning, replanning, and overthinking... yet never really moving forward. When you're high-achieving and used to being good at everything? It can be paralyzing to start chasing new goals because, let's face it, there will be mistakes. Success doesn't come instantaneously. Sometimes it feels more comfortable to think of all the ways it could go wrong and all the contingency plans you'll need so that you can get everything right from the start. Does any of this sound familiar? If so, let me share 3 things that have helped me move forward: 1. Don't have a zero day Instead of "all or nothing," make it a point to do something... anything... that moves the needle forward even just 1%. Find satisfaction and momentum in doing one small step that feels good. 2. Use the 80/20 rule Burnout isn't just from the workplace. Burnout can also be self-inflicted by overthinking, ruminating, and spiraling. When you operate from a perfectionistic mentality, anything less is not an option, except for one thing... it's not sustainable. Give yourself permission to run at 80% and save the 20% for days when your body (not your mind) says "yes." 3. Have a "lite" alternative In keeping with #1 Don't have a zero day... have a scaled-back version ready. If you can't commit to your full plan, that's ok! Doing something is better than doing nothing. For example, if you planned to run 3 miles, but you can't fit it in that day, walk 15 minutes instead. Consistency means showing up every day in alignment with your energy, not doing everything perfectly. And that's it! It's simple... instead of allowing perfectionism to send you into a spiral of stuckness, take action in ways that feel good for your body while you tell your mind to take several seats 😊 #HumanDesign, #Perfectionism #Alignment #LeadLikeYou #Generators #Mindset #Leadership Image Description: Laine has shoulder-length, curly brown hair and is leaning against a white wall. She is looking away and smiling. She is wearing a white tank top and a green, blue, black, and white floral skirt. She is holding a mug with a picture of a yellow sun.

"It's okay not to be okay" is what Kevin Valsi said to me one day when we were in law school. Years later, it's a phrase that still sticks with me. I remember thinking then -- and so many times now -- I wish that were true, but I'm not sure it is, or at least not for me. Because so often we operate as business as usual. Because we think or are told that the customer doesn't want excuses. Because our role or employment already feels so tenuous. Because I have to out perform others in order to be accepted. So we better put on happy face and say that we're okay. Because to be professional is to be able to suck it up and deal with it. Except all that pretending results in - compromised immune systems - denying reality - failing to address the issues that weigh on all of us - forgetting that it is our humanity that differentiates us Here are three ways we can make it more okay to not be okay: 1) Normalize rescheduling without apology -- we don't owe each other explanations. If you need to bump the meeting to clear your day or get a moment, I'm assuming you're a competent adult pivoting based on real-time information. And yes, emotions are information. 2) Don't always operate at surge capacity -- if we're always pushing hard, then there's no gas left in the tank for when crisis inevitably show up 3) Leader transparency -- you might not tell all your clients that you're not at your finest, but being able to name to a colleague or your team "it's a rough day, but I'll be okay" or "the world is weighing heavy. I'll do my best" signals that on this team, we get to be human. Not being okay doesn't mean we can't do impactful work. Not being okay doesn't mean we can't have impact. Not being okay doesn't mean we aren't fit to lead. It just means we're human. How else do you make it okay for others (or yourself) to not be okay?