Leading with Emotional Understanding

A senior manager I worked with used to pride himself on keeping emotions out of leadership decisions. Then during a major organizational restructure, his "rational" approach backfired spectacularly. In team meetings, his suppressed anxiety leaked out as sharp criticism. His unprocessed frustration with upper management showed up as dismissiveness toward his team's concerns. His unacknowledged grief about changing relationships manifested as resistance to collaboration. The irony? By ignoring his emotions, they were controlling his leadership more than ever. This experience taught him a crucial lesson about the first capability in our Teams Learning Library: Know & Grow Yourself. Emotional awareness helps leaders make more effective decisions. We introduced him to a simple practice: the Daily Emotional Weather Report. Each morning, he spent five minutes noting his emotions without judgment, just as he'd check the weather forecast. His entries looked like this: "Today I'm feeling anxious (7/10) about the budget presentation and hopeful (6/10) about the new team structure. Also noticing some resentment (4/10) about yesterday's last-minute changes." The transformation was remarkable. Simply naming emotions reduced their hidden influence on his decisions. In a particularly challenging conversation about timeline changes, he was able to acknowledge his frustration without letting it drive his response. He later told me: "Before this practice, emotions felt like disruptions to leadership. Now I realize they're information. When I acknowledge them consciously, they inform my decisions rather than take them over." Research supports this approach: leaders who process emotions regularly make more balanced decisions and connect more authentically with their teams during difficult periods. The practice takes five minutes but creates clarity that lasts all day. When you know your emotional weather, you can dress appropriately for the conditions ahead. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗴𝗼-𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗲𝗰𝗵𝗻𝗶𝗾𝘂𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗱𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀? 𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲.

Feeling more like a therapist to your team than a leader? You’re not alone. During my recent market research project, one theme popped up again & again: leaders today feel like therapists. And not just any therapists — ones who didn’t sign up for the job, didn’t get trained for it, & now feel completely drained by it. You know what I’m talking about: *Unprompted tears in a 1:1. *Defensive outbursts between teammates. *Coaching someone through their embarrassment after a presentation went sideways. You’re doing your best, but it feels like your role has shifted from leader to emotional crisis manager. So now what? Do you update your title to “Leader + Therapist” & call it a day? Absolutely not. If this resonates, here’s what I need you to know: being a leader today requires emotional intelligence. It’s not optional, & it’s not just about managing tasks + hitting KPIs. Humans —your humans— are emotional creatures. They want to bring their whole selves to work, & if we want to bring out the best in them, we have to meet them where they are. The good news? There’s a way to lead without losing yourself in the process. Let’s break it down using Daniel Goleman’s emotional intelligence framework: 1. Self-Awareness The foundation of emotional intelligence. Tip: Before stepping into your next 1:1, pause and ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now, and how might that impact this conversation?” Your emotions will set the tone—intentionally or not. 2. Self-Management Managing your emotions in real-time. Tip: When a team member brings unexpected emotions, resist the urge to fix. Instead, ground yourself with a simple practice like taking three deep breaths before responding. This helps you stay calm and present. 3. Social Awareness The ability to read the room (or Zoom). Tip: Notice what’s not being said. Is someone’s body language tense? Is their tone sharper than usual? Ask open-ended questions to understand what’s really going on. 4. Social Influence Bringing people together and inspiring action. Tip: When emotions run high (think: team conflict or post-presentation panic), acknowledge what’s happening first. Try saying, “I can see this was frustrating—let’s talk about how we can move forward.” Validation builds trust & opens the door to solutions. Leadership will never be emotion-free. But by sharpening your emotional intelligence, you’ll stop feeling like a therapist & start feeling like the confident, connected leader your team needs. What do you think? Have you felt more therapist than leader lately?

The conversation that changed how I think about emotions wasn't the one I expected. Someone asked me when I last felt my feelings instead of just managing them. I couldn't answer. Because somewhere along the way, I'd gotten so good at staying composed that I forgot to actually feel. Maybe you can relate. The constant push to be the steady leader. To have answers. To keep the team moving forward no matter what. But here's what I've discovered: Real emotional intelligence isn't just about controlling emotions. It's about understanding them first. Controlling your responses. And helping others do the same. Here are 8 ways to build real emotional intelligence: 1. Notice your patterns Track what triggers you during high-stakes moments. When do you feel energized? Depleted? Reactive? Understanding your patterns helps you lead better. 2. Name what you're feeling Replace "I'm fine" with what's actually true. Are you frustrated? Excited? Overwhelmed? Clarity starts with honest labeling. 3. Build in buffer time When tensions rise, count to six before responding. Those six seconds can transform a reaction into a thoughtful response. 4. Protect your energy Schedule tough conversations when you're at your best. Leading through conflict takes more bandwidth than most leaders realize. 5. Listen without solving This is the hardest for me and something I work on every day... Sometimes your team just needs to be heard. Let them share fully before offering solutions. Trust builds in these moments. 6. Read the room Watch for what's not being said in meetings. Crossed arms, silence, sudden energy shifts… these signals matter as much as words. 7. Ask questions that matter "What do you need from me?" beats assumptions. "Help me understand your perspective" opens doors. Real leadership happens in these exchanges. 8. Think beyond your view Before big decisions, consider the ripple effects. How will this land with your team? Your clients? Great leaders think in circles, not straight lines. The truth about emotional intelligence? It's not about being less human. It's about being more connected. Because when leaders understand their own emotions, they create cultures where others can thrive. And that's how you build something extraordinary. 📌 Save this for when emotions run high. ♻️ Repost if this resonates with your leadership journey. 👉 Follow Desiree Gruber for more insights on storytelling, leadership, and brand building.

"I don't have time for feelings right now." A burned-out CEO told me this last week. Three months later? His top performers were updating their resumes. 🚩 Here's the reality: Emotional intelligence isn't a soft skill. It's your best insurance against team burnout. The hidden cost of low EQ leadership: • Missing early warning signs • Creating psychological unsafety • Driving quiet quitting • Losing your best people But here's what emotionally intelligent leaders do differently: 1. They Read the Room 📊 ↳ Notice energy shifts ↳ Spot burnout before breakdown ↳ Actually listen (not just wait to talk) 2. They Make It Safe to Struggle 🛡️ ↳ Share their own challenges ↳ Normalize mental health breaks ↳ Create judgment-free zones 3. They Set Emotional Boundaries ⚡ ↳ Respect after-hours ↳ Model work-life balance ↳ Give permission to disconnect 4. They Lead with Empathy 🤝 ↳ Ask "How are you managing?" ↳ Adjust workload proactively ↳ Make support accessible The truth? Your IQ might get you the corner office. But your EQ will determine how long your team stays. What's your best tip for leading with emotional intelligence? Share below 👇 --- 🔔 Follow Sharon Grossman for more leadership strategies ♻️ Share if you believe in human-first leadership

I used to think leadership was all about making tough decisions and driving results. But a simple truth changed everything for me. It wasn’t a book, a seminar, or even advice—it was a realization: Leadership is about emotional intelligence. Here’s the thing: IQ gets you far, but EI takes you further. Emotionally intelligent leaders don’t just manage tasks—they build trust, foster communication, and drive connection. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being self-aware, empathetic, and able to navigate tough conversations with grace. I’ve learned that emotional intelligence makes you better at: - Making informed decisions that consider both the task and the team. - Building trust by showing empathy and truly listening. - Resolving conflicts by understanding emotions and guiding conversations to solutions. - Creating a collaborative culture where team members feel safe to innovate. It’s a skill that grows every day. It’s about understanding others, regulating your own emotions, and inspiring those around you to do the same. The best leaders I know don’t just manage—they connect. And that connection drives real success. What’s one way emotional intelligence has transformed your leadership? Let’s share and learn together. 💬