Leading With Empathy

I managed teams for 10 years before I learned this important truth: Empathy isn't a "soft skill." It's your most powerful leadership tool. I once had a top performer who was missing deadlines. Instead of asking "Why isn't this done?" I asked "How can I support you?" Turns out, she was dealing with family health issues but was afraid to speak up. That one conversation changed everything. 8 ways I learned to show empathy at work: — Listen without jumping to fix things — Be flexible when life throws curveballs — Make time for non-work conversations — Give praise in public, feedback in private — Create space where no question feels stupid — Support mental health days, not just sick days — Ask how you can help, not why things aren't done — Treat your team like people first, employees second When you lead with empathy, productivity and loyalty naturally follow. You don't have to choose between being human and being successful. The most effective leaders are both. Because at the end of the day, people don't leave bad jobs. They leave environments where they don't feel understood or appreciated. Want to transform your team? Start with empathy. It's the investment that pays the highest returns. ♻️ Agree? Repost to spread the message. Thanks! 📌 Follow Justin Wright for more on emotional intelligence. Want my 99 best cheat sheets? Get them free: BrillianceBrief.com

Empathy isn’t soft it’s a superpower. Used wrong, it burns leaders out. Here’s how to make it sustainable. Empathic orgs see more creativity, helping, resilience and less burnout and attrition. Employees (esp. Millennials/Gen Z) now expect it. Wearing the “empathy helmet” means you feel everyone’s highs and lows. Middle managers fry first. Caring ≠ self-sacrifice. The fix = Sustainable empathy Care without collapsing by stacking: self-compassion → tuned caring → practice. So drop the martyr mindset. • Notice your stress (name it) • Remember it’s human & shared • Talk to yourself like you would a friend • Ask for help model it and your team will too Why does this matter? Unchecked stress dulls perspective and spikes reactivity. When leaders absorb nonstop venting, next-day negativity rises and so does mistreatment. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Move 2: Tune your caring Two empathies: • Emotional empathy = feel their pain • Empathic concern = help relieve it Keep concern high, distress low. “Caring binds; sharing blinds.” How to tune (in the moment) • 60 seconds of breathing before hard talks • Validate without absorbing: “This is hard and it makes sense.” • Boundaries + presence: “I’m here. Let’s focus on next steps.” • Offer concrete help: “Here’s what we’ll try by Friday.” • Also share joy celebrate wins to refuel the tank Move 3: Treat empathy as a skill It’s trainable. Build emotional balance: shift from absorbing pain → generating care. Try brief compassion meditation (“May you be safe, well, at ease.”) and pre-regulate before tough conversations. Mini audit after tough chats Ask yourself: • How much did I feel with vs. care for? • What do they need long-term? • What will I do to help this week? A simple script 1. Validate: “I can see why this stings.” 2. Future: “Success looks like X.” 3. Action: “Let’s do Y by [date]; I’ll support with Z.” Team rituals that sustain you • Start meetings with “What help do you need?” • Normalize asking for support • Micro-celebrate progress weekly • Protect recovery blocks on calendars Self-compassion + tuned concern + practice = sustainable empathy. What’s one habit you’ll try this week to protect your energy and support your team?

Honesty and directness are two of the most valuable traits in any workplace, yet I feel we are losing them...or losing the skill behind them. While many people are avoiding directness for fear of causing discomfort, others dive into “telling it like it is” without the tact and empathy that make honest feedback constructive. Somewhere along the line, these important qualities got tangled up with conflict or insensitivity, making many people shy away from direct feedback or honest opinions. It's important to recognize that: 💡 People often seek reassurance or pity, but what they often need most is honesty and directness. ⚠️ And if we don't recognize this and we lose honesty and directness, we lose the foundation for trust and growth. ⚡ Empathy and kindness are crucial at work, but they shouldn’t come at the expense of clarity and truth. We need to show people we value them by delivering the truth with empathy and respect. When we do this, we also impact efficiency. Instead of tiptoeing around issues, we can address them, find solutions, and move forward. Problems that might have lingered for months can be addressed in a single, honest conversation. There is no need to choose between being direct and being empathetic! It’s about combining the two thoughtfully. ✔️ Take a moment to notice your own emotion and consider how your words and tone will be received ✔️ Be conscious of tact, timing and empathy ✔️ Be specific and constructive..."I've noticed (specific issue) and I'd like to chat about what we can do about it" ✔️ Focus on the issue not the person ✔️ Encourage people to give YOU constructive feedback...and highlight that it goes both ways ✔️ Stick to facts, not opinions. And be clear on the impact before seeking solutions. Change starts with LEADERS! Research from Edelman’s Trust Barometer shows that transparency and honesty are top drivers of trust in leadership, with 84% of respondents saying that open and honest communication from leaders builds trust. We are all leaders in some respect so we can all ask ourselves...am I being direct and honest enough with the people around me? The people I care about? ❓ What are your thoughts on the topic ❓ How can leaders strike the right balance between honesty and empathy to build a culture of trust ❓ What’s one approach that’s worked well for you ❓ Leave your comments below 🙏 #trust #respect #openness #honesty #leadership #teamwork

The conversation that changed how I think about emotions wasn't the one I expected. Someone asked me when I last felt my feelings instead of just managing them. I couldn't answer. Because somewhere along the way, I'd gotten so good at staying composed that I forgot to actually feel. Maybe you can relate. The constant push to be the steady leader. To have answers. To keep the team moving forward no matter what. But here's what I've discovered: Real emotional intelligence isn't just about controlling emotions. It's about understanding them first. Controlling your responses. And helping others do the same. Here are 8 ways to build real emotional intelligence: 1. Notice your patterns Track what triggers you during high-stakes moments. When do you feel energized? Depleted? Reactive? Understanding your patterns helps you lead better. 2. Name what you're feeling Replace "I'm fine" with what's actually true. Are you frustrated? Excited? Overwhelmed? Clarity starts with honest labeling. 3. Build in buffer time When tensions rise, count to six before responding. Those six seconds can transform a reaction into a thoughtful response. 4. Protect your energy Schedule tough conversations when you're at your best. Leading through conflict takes more bandwidth than most leaders realize. 5. Listen without solving This is the hardest for me and something I work on every day... Sometimes your team just needs to be heard. Let them share fully before offering solutions. Trust builds in these moments. 6. Read the room Watch for what's not being said in meetings. Crossed arms, silence, sudden energy shifts… these signals matter as much as words. 7. Ask questions that matter "What do you need from me?" beats assumptions. "Help me understand your perspective" opens doors. Real leadership happens in these exchanges. 8. Think beyond your view Before big decisions, consider the ripple effects. How will this land with your team? Your clients? Great leaders think in circles, not straight lines. The truth about emotional intelligence? It's not about being less human. It's about being more connected. Because when leaders understand their own emotions, they create cultures where others can thrive. And that's how you build something extraordinary. 📌 Save this for when emotions run high. ♻️ Repost if this resonates with your leadership journey. 👉 Follow Desiree Gruber for more insights on storytelling, leadership, and brand building.

Ever thought empathy didn't belong in a high-pressure work environment? I did too, until I saw it in action. During a major project deadline, I watched a leader pause to address a team member's struggle. It wasn't scheduled. It wasn't about metrics. But it transformed everything. That moment taught me that empathy drives success in ways data can't capture. ___ Here’s why empathetic leadership matters: ↳ It builds deeper connections. Your team isn't just a group of employees; they're individuals with unique stories. ↳ It creates a culture of respect. When people feel understood, they contribute more meaningfully. ↳ It drives loyalty. Empathy makes people feel valued, and valued people stay. 🔸 So, next time you're in a meeting, take a moment to look beyond the agenda. 🔸 Ask about your team's well-being. Listen to their challenges. Offer your support. 🔸 Because sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do as a leader is simply to care. Action Steps: 1. Check-in regularly. Make it a habit to ask your team how they're really doing. 2. Listen actively. Pay attention to what your team members say, and what they don't say. 3. Show genuine concern. Offer support and solutions that go beyond work-related issues. Have you experienced the power of empathy in your organization? 👇 ___ ♻️ Found this valuable? Repost if this resonates with you. 👋 Follow me Hetali Mehta, for more content like this.

💡 Coaching Insight of the Week: Curiosity is the cure for unchecked privilege. Coaching is deeply personal. It’s designed to unlock insight—not only into ourselves, but into the systems, cultures, and communities in which we live and lead. Yet for leaders who hold significant privilege—whether by race, gender, position, or background—developing real empathy for others’ lived experiences doesn’t come instantly. It takes time. And more importantly, it takes curiosity. In coaching conversations, this truth continues to surface. Despite the progress of #MeToo and the increased attention to workplace equity, too many leaders still say things like: “We’ve never had a complaint, so I don’t think harassment or discrimination happens here... We might have some unconscious bias but everyone has unconscious biases.” But absence of a complaint is not absence of harm. It’s often a sign of an unsafe culture - commonly lacking diversity and diverse representation in leadership, and one where people don’t feel believed, protected, or powerful enough to speak up. That’s where the power of group coaching comes in. When the space is intentionally safe and inclusive, and leaders commit to practicing curiosity and empathy, something remarkable happens: ✅ Self-orientation (critical to building trust) drops. ✅ Listening improves. ✅ Vulnerability becomes possible. And the psychological safety created empowers those with lived experience to feel safe enough to share. In those moments, we begin to shift the culture, and fix the system. And not just one leader at a time, but collectively. And with it comes a greater understanding of, for example, the need for protections like Respect@Work and #positiveduty legislation, for while the leaders in the room are unlikely to ever need those protections, they are most certainly the custodians of ensuring its safe for others to access them. Because privilege doesn’t disappear. But it can be named, acknowledged, challenged and used to foster safety and inclusion, but it requires leaders to choose curiosity over assumption. #Leadership #Privilege #Empathy #Coaching #RespectAtWork #InclusiveLeadership #SexDiscrimination #WorkplaceCulture #GracePapers #PsychologicalSafety #ICF #IECL

Last week, we were hired by a large U.S. management consulting company to coach their directors who were transitioning into partner roles. These super-bright participants had excelled at top business schools and used their sharp analytical skills to solve complex client problems. However, as they moved into management, their analytical prowess became less effective and, in some cases, even obstructive in building strong relationships. Here’s what we discovered: these directors were using listening and interactions primarily as a means to problem-solve. They listened intending to identify, define, and analyse the client’s issues, then quickly offered solutions. While this approach served them well in consulting, it often hindered their ability to build the deep, relational connections necessary for business. Top 3 Takeaways with Action Steps: 1. Listen Beyond Problem-Solving: Please focus on emotions and values. When someone comes to you with a problem, go beyond summarizing details. Pay attention to the emotions, values, and strengths they express. This helps in building a more genuine connection. 2. Shift Your Approach: Recognize relationship needs. Understand that effective management requires more than problem-solving. It involves developing relationships, understanding others’ perspectives, and addressing their emotional and personal needs. 3. Practice Deep Listening: Practice naming the emotions and values you hear during conversations. This simple shift can transform your interactions from transactional to relational, fostering stronger connections with your team and clients. Warmth and connection are crucial as you grow into leadership. Are you ready to move beyond problem-solving and build meaningful relationships? #Leadership #Empathy #ActiveListening #Management #ExecutivePresence #Training

The mom needed jeans for her 13-year-old son. She was nervous and worried about getting it wrong. I was a 16-year-old retail associate, about to get my first lesson in customer empathy. Empathy comes from a shared or relatable experience. It helps us better understand our customer's needs so we can provide a better experience. Clearly, I didn't SHARE my customer's experience. I didn't know how it felt to be a mom trying to buy clothes for a teenage boy. But I could RELATE to the mom for two reasons. First, I had recently been someone's 13-year-old son. Second, I knew how it felt to be overwhelmed when you went shopping for a gift. I reassured the mom, asked her some questions about her son, and helped her buy the perfect pair of jeans. The mom returned with her son a week later to buy more. She was beaming with pride and confidence since the first pair was a huge hit. She was my first repeat customer. Empathy for the win. It took me awhile to break down the technique I had used to empathize with my customer in that moment. Here's the process: 1. Identify the emotion I could tell the mom was feeling nervous. 2. Ask yourself, "Why is this customer feeling this way?" The mom told me directly. She wanted to make sure she bought the right jeans for her son and worried about getting it wrong. 3. Think about a time when you had a similar feeling.  I instantly thought about times when I was nervous about buying something for someone else. 4. Try to demonstrate that you know how they feel. Relating to the mom helped me understand she was looking for assurance. I knew a lot about both our products and the jean preferences of teenage boys, so it was easy for me to make suggestions. 💡Try this technique: practice empathizing with customers you serve today. You might be amazed at how it can improve the experience!

Empathy is the Heart of Leadership In sound organizations, leaders are measured by results—profit margins, performance metrics, and organizational achievements. But behind every one of those numbers is a person, a story, and a need to be understood. That’s why I believe empathy is not just a skill but the foundation of effective leadership. I remember a time when a team member was struggling both professionally and personally. Their performance had slipped, and it would’ve been easy to focus solely on the results. Instead, I chose to meet with them—not to point out what wasn’t working but to ask, “How are you?” That simple question led to an honest conversation where I learned about challenges they were facing outside of work. I partnered with their HR Director, and together we developed a plan to provide the support they needed. Over time, they not only rebounded but became one of the strongest performers on the team. Empathy doesn’t mean avoiding accountability; it means understanding the whole picture so we can guide people effectively. It’s about leading with humanity, recognizing struggles, and working together toward solutions. The most successful teams thrive when leaders create an environment of trust and care. Empathy fuels connection, drives collaboration, and ultimately leads to results that are not just good for business but good for people too. As we navigate challenges in our organizations and industries, let’s remember that leading with empathy is not a soft skill—it’s a strategic advantage. #Leadership #Empathy #Inclusion #ServantLeadership #Teamwork #Hospitality

Struggling to regain control during a customer's rant? 😓 I've got a powerful technique that'll help you smoothly transition from listening to problem-solving! Let's talk about the "Snatch and Flip" method. It's a game-changer for guiding heated conversations towards resolution. Here's how it works: Listen actively 👂 - Focus on understanding the customer's core issue - Pay attention to repeated themes or concerns Identify the main pain point 🎯 - What's the customer mentioning most frequently? - Look for emotional cues (e.g., frustration, inconvenience, wasted time) Snatch and flip 🔄 - Acknowledge the key concern - Transition smoothly into problem-solving mode For example: Customer: "I can't believe this rental car broke down! My kids are tired, hungry, and we're missing a funeral. This is unacceptable!" You: "I'm so sorry you're experiencing this frustration. Let's get you and your kids back on the road as quickly as possible. I'm sending a tow truck with a new rental car right away. Can you give me your exact location?" See how it works? You've acknowledged their main concern (the kids' discomfort) and immediately shifted to a solution. Remember, the goal isn't to interrupt - it's to show you've truly heard their concerns and are ready to help. This technique keeps both empathy and efficiency in balance. Next time a customer starts venting, try the Snatch and Flip method. You might be surprised at how quickly it can turn a heated rant into a productive conversation! What's your biggest challenge when dealing with upset customers? Share your thoughts below! 👇