Why women face more competence challenges

As International Women’s Day nears, we’ll see the usual corporate gestures—empowerment panels, social media campaigns, and carefully curated success stories. But let’s be honest: these feel-good initiatives rarely change what actually holds women back at work on the daily basis. Instead, I suggest focusing on something concrete, something I’ve seen have the biggest impact in my work with teams: the unspoken dynamics that shape psychological safety. 🚨Because psychological safety is not the same for everyone. Psychological safety is often defined as a shared belief that one can take risks without fear of negative consequences. But let’s unpack that—who actually feels safe enough to take those risks? 🔹 Speaking up costs more for women Confidence isn’t the issue—consequences are. Women learn early that being too direct can backfire. Assertiveness can be read as aggression, while careful phrasing can make them seem uncertain. Over time, this calculation becomes second nature: Is this worth the risk? 🔹 Mistakes are stickier When men fail, it’s seen as part of leadership growth. When women fail, it often reinforces lingering doubts about their competence. This means that women aren’t more risk-averse by nature—they’re just more aware of the cost. 🔹 Inclusion isn’t just about presence Being at the table doesn’t mean having an equal voice. Women often find themselves in a credibility loop—having to repeatedly prove their expertise before their ideas carry weight. Meanwhile, those who fit the traditional leadership mold are often trusted by default. 🔹 Emotional labor is the silent career detour Women in teams do an extraordinary amount of behind-the-scenes work—mediating conflicts, softening feedback, ensuring inclusion. The problem? This work isn’t visible in performance reviews or leadership selection criteria. It’s expected, but not rewarded. What companies can do beyond IWD symbolism: ✅ Stop measuring "confidence"—start measuring credibility gaps If some team members always need to “prove it” while others are trusted instantly, you have a credibility gap, not a confidence issue. Fix how ideas get heard, not how women present them. ✅ Make failure a learning moment for everyone Audit how mistakes are handled in your team. Are men encouraged to take bold moves while women are advised to be more careful? Change the narrative around risk. ✅ Track & reward emotional labor If women are consistently mentoring, resolving conflicts, or ensuring inclusion, this isn’t just “being helpful”—it’s leadership. Make it visible, valued, and part of promotion criteria. 💥 This IWD, let’s skip the celebration and start the correction. If your company is serious about making psychological safety equal for everyone, let’s do the real work. 📅 I’m now booking IWD sessions focused on improving team dynamics and creating workplaces where women don’t just survive, but thrive. Book your spot and let’s turn good intentions into lasting impact.

This post will ruffle some feathers.   Women are often held to higher standards than their male counterparts to prove their competence professionally.  I have dealt with this my entire career, but never as much as I have since founding Faryl Robin Footwear. This double standard means that professional women must consistently exceed expectations and "prove" exceptional abilities to receive the same recognition and rewards as their male counterparts. The added pressure on women not only negatively impacts their career progression, it increases stress and increases burnout. It is time for all leaders and decision-makers to be the change. If not for yourself, for your daughters, and the health of our economy. We can’t fix problems unless we recognize there is one. 

“Too confident.” “Too ambitious.” “Too much.” Funny how the things that make men leaders… are the same things that make women a “problem.” And we call that a confidence gap? It’s not. It’s an opportunity gap. - For every 100 men promoted to manager, only 87 women are. - Women of color? Just 73. Women are less likely to be promoted based on potential. More likely to receive personality-based feedback instead of performance-based. And constantly navigating a double bind: - Be confident, but not too confident. - Be strong, but stay “likable.” So what happens? We over-prepare before speaking up. We shrink our accomplishments to stay palatable. We live in fear of being “too much” for rooms we’ve already earned a seat in. And when we finally do advocate for ourselves? We get labeled. “Aggressive.” “Difficult.” “Not a team player.” This isn’t a confidence issue. It’s a systems issue. -> Confidence in women is often perceived as a threat. -> Assertiveness is misread as arrogance. -> Leadership potential goes unseen because it doesn’t come in the expected “package.” Confidence grows where it’s safe to show up fully. Opportunity fuels self-belief - not the other way around. So if we want more women leaders? ✅ Stop promoting based on tenure alone - look at potential. ✅ Sponsor women the way we mentor men. ✅ Redefine leadership to include collaboration, empathy, and intuition. Women don’t need fixing. The system does. PS: What’s one leadership challenge you’ve faced as a woman - or seen another woman go through?

Truth bomb: The problem isn’t a lack of qualified women. It’s a lack of people recognizing their value. Not every conference needs to look like the United Nations. But as someone who is often the only woman—or the only “diverse” face—in the room, I need to be honest: It’s exhausting. Here’s the reality highly qualified women face, backed by data: 🔹 Women are 30% more likely to be judged on personality traits instead of competence. 🔹 When a man is “strategic,” he’s admired. But when a woman is equally strategic? She’s labeled “manipulative” or “calculating.” 🔹 Women hold only 28% of C-suite positions in corporate America, despite outperforming their male peers in leadership assessments. 🔹 And when it comes to public speaking engagements, men are paid 50-100% more, on average, than women with the same level of expertise. And yet, we push forward. What’s especially insulting is when highly accomplished women are asked to speak on a stage “for exposure,” while less experienced men on the same stage are getting paid. Exposure doesn’t pay the bills. Exposure doesn’t value expertise. And exposure perpetuates the very biases that keep women from being seen as equal contributors. But here’s what I’ve learned: Complaining doesn’t solve the problem. I’ve earned hundreds of thousands of dollars from speaking engagements, and it wasn’t by lecturing or blaming my peers. It was by using small teachable moments to challenge their biases and change their perspectives. Most of my clients are men. These men aren’t just allies—they put their money where their mouth is. They respect expertise, regardless of gender, and they value results. They’ve been willing to listen, learn, and adjust—because the goal isn’t blame, it’s progress. Here’s a thought: What if women didn’t have to navigate rooms where they’re asked to defend their decisions or prove their worth because of their gender? What if women were given the same baseline respect and compensation as men, no questions asked? This isn’t just about being a feminist—it’s about recognizing patterns of implicit bias that have gone unchecked for far too long. I don't consider myself a feminist (that truth bomb will come later feminists hate me.. literally) The fact is, we need to do better. Men need to self-reflect and challenge their biases. And women shouldn’t have to be the only ones calling this out. So, I ask: Have you ever sat in a room and thought, “Why am I the only one who looks like me?” Have you been told to accept exposure while others around you are rewarded for less? It’s time to shift the narrative. Let’s move from women being the exception to women being the expected. Because representation matters. Pay equity matters. And change only happens when we’re all willing to face these uncomfortable truths. Let’s make it happen. Alessandra Wall, Ph.D. - C-Suite Women's Coach Silvia Mah PhD, MBA Nicole Kernohan Susie Albert Miller, MA, MDiv

Ambitious women are called "b!$ches" but ambitious men are "leaders"? Every generation of women has faced challenges in business. (this isn’t about balancing home life, motherhood, and work) It’s about how women are 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘯 at work. The world runs on patriarchy. Business and corporate life are built on it. Women have to fight for their space. Each generation pays a price to make space for the next. In 2024, we know more about neuroscience and psychology. Yet, biases against women remain. Women face more obstacles as they move up in leadership. It’s like running hurdles that get closer together. But... As women rise, they become more threatening. To men and even to each other. Statistically, women have to be better just to reach the same level as men. They need brains, guts, grit, and chops. And they’re still expected to be the nurturers, both at home and at work. Before you come for me, let me clarify. ⤵️ I know this firsthand: ↳ I’m a woman in my fifties with a master’s in engineering ↳ I’ve worked with men in the field and the office for over 30 years ↳ I’m a leader, often the only woman in the room ↳ I’m also a mother ↳ I’ve been widowed twice ↳ I’ve been harassed at work ↳ I’m a survivor ↳ And I’m on a mission to change the patriarchy, one soul at a time. The conditioning starts early. We tell boys they’re smart and strong. They become so. We tell girls they’re pretty, like princesses. They strive to be so all their lives. ➡️ Fact: Women get feedback based more on personality than performance. With the same personality traits and performance: → Men = powerful, magnate, → Women = HBIC, anything that ends with b!$ch Here’s the difference in how powerful men and women are described in business: (per Perplexity.ai) 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗠𝗲𝗻:  1. Analytical  2. Decisive  3. Assertive  4. Strategic  5. Ambitious  6. Confident  7. Authoritative  8. Competitive  9. Driven 10. Innovative 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻:  1. Compassionate  2. Resilient  3. Collaborative  4. Intuitive  5. Empathetic  6. Adaptable  7. Persistent  8. Resourceful  9. Visionary 10. Empowering 📌 There are differences in how men and women are described: →  Men are seen as thinkers and strategists. →  Women are seen for emotional intelligence. →  Negative labels differ. Men are "arrogant," women are "inept." The silver lining → feminine qualities like compassion are valued now. 🚨 Leadership qualities are universal, like being innovative and decisive. Be aware of these biases. They affect perceptions and decisions. 𝙇𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙟𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙣 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙠𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙨, 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙤𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚𝙨. P.S. Regardless of your gender, think about how you label others. _________ P.S. You're in corporate, an intrapreneur, an inspiring leader, a leader who wants to get better from others' mistakes and experiences, ring the 🔔 on my profile, follow ➕, and share ♻️ the content you find useful.

In my recent interview with Signe Ögren Kull, the CEO of Maria Nila Stockholm, we discussed her company's US expansion strategy. We also delved into the issue of gender bias in the workplace. Despite the progress we've made in the fight for equality, it's clear that there's still work to be done. As someone who has held senior leadership roles for years, I've personally experienced the negative effects of gender stereotypes. I've been told that I need to be "soft" to be an effective leader, and I can't help but wonder if a male colleague would receive the same feedback. What Ögren Kull said below will resonate with many of the female readers.  These outdated attitudes should be challenged, and equal treatment for our skills and achievements should be recognized, regardless of gender. By working together to build a more inclusive and equitable workplace, we can create a better future for all employees. Let's focus on what we can accomplish together rather than being held back by gender biases. Ögren Kull said, "I think women are more easily judged and, therefore, have less room to make mistakes or act outside the norm. I have noticed that women face more scrutiny than men when it comes to their conduct, and we often tend to strive for perfection, which can lead to burnout. However, I have realized that having fun and not taking life too seriously is equally crucial. I have noticed that women face more challenges than men, and we often tend to strive for perfection, which can lead to burnout. Men typically exhibit more confidence in their speech, even when unsure, which may be due to cultural and societal factors. Conversely, women tend to ensure that what they say can be proven. However, women are not taking enough risks, ultimately affecting us. It frustrates me that people expect women leaders to be soft and empathetic just because they are females. While I have empathy, it is not always necessary to be a comforting blanket, as nobody expects men to act that way. There have been instances where I have walked into a room with my male colleagues, and people spoke to them without realizing that I was the decision-maker. It is frustrating to see how people perceive females." #womensupportingwomen #inclusionmatters #beautyindustry https://lnkd.in/e3Bpjewh

Entry level: 52% men & 47% women Senior manager level: 64% men & 36% women Senior VP level: 73% men & 28% women Did you see what happened? The number of women in a company immediately drops at the second and third career levels. And this needs attention. The McKinsey & Company and Lean In, Women In Workplace 2023 report highlights the clear bias that is the barrier to women’s entry into leadership. Zoe Chance said it best, “Women feel forced to compete on their record, whilst men can compete on their vision.” ↳ Men apply for a job when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, but women apply only if they meet 100% of them. ↳ A study at a large retail chain in North America (published in Yale) highlights that women are 14% less likely to be promoted at the company each year because they are consistently judged as having lower leadership potential than men. ↳ BBC reports that women are held to higher standards for promotions than men. If this isn’t absolutely appalling, I don’t know what this is. I’ve seen male colleagues bag projects without any experience and female colleagues with much much more experience were asked to explain their rationale. I’ve heard stories of managers pushing women to share reports with male colleagues so they can keep an eye out for red flags. Step 1 is to recognize this internal bias. Our systems are deeply flawed and unless we pinpoint what we’re doing wrong, we can never get close to fixing it. I recommend every leader to run an internal diagnostics on day-to-day bias. The story needs to change. #womenintech #womeninbusiness #womenleaders

Does competence or confidence hold women back from leadership roles? Is this the right question? I'm working on a project on women's leadership now to explore this question. I'm pondering a great study that I wanted to share with you. In the 2019 article “Women Score Higher than Men in Most Leadership Skills,” Zenger and Folkman analyzed thousands of 360-degree assessments. Women were rated to be more effective than men in 84 percent of typically-measured leadership competencies. Women were rated as excelling in taking initiative, acting with resilience, practicing self-development, driving for results, and displaying high integrity and honesty. Men were rated more highly on only two capabilities: “develops strategic perspective” and “technical or professional expertise.” However, external perceptions of women’s competence may not affect their overall confidence. The authors found a wider gap between between male and female leaders in terms of confidence. When women were asked to assess themselves using the same 360-degree data, they gave themselves lower scores than men on confidence ratings. The gap was particularly stark for women under age 25. At age 40, confidence ratings merge. Men gained just 8.5 percentile points in confidence from age 25 to their 60+ years. Women, on the other hand, gained 29 percentile points. The authors conclude that women make highly competent leaders, and that a dearth of opportunity holds them back rather than a lack of capability. What do you think? Are women held back by a dearth of opportunity rather than perceived competence or their own confidence? Are developing strategic perspective and technical/professional expertise valued above other leadership traits such that men advance more quickly? Are men rightly perceived to have these traits more than women? Did confidence hold you back early in your career? Does it hold back women in the workplace--yourself or women you've mentored or work with? Did your confidence increase or decrease after 40? Even the best studies provide only one piece of the puzzle--I'm doing my best to figure out the full picture! #leadership #speaking #consulting #nationalsecurity #law