Consequences of distrust in women leaders

I just got off a call with a senior woman leader. Her promotion was quietly erased after months of being told she was next in line. She broke down while telling me that everyone was sure she'd get it. She had the track record, the trust of her peers, and a long list of wins that made her the obvious choice internally. People were already treating her as if the role was hers. But surprisingly, they hired someone from the outside. A man. Since that moment, the energy at work has shifted. Her relationship with her manager (someone who once supported her now feels strained and transactional. She described it as a “cold war.” But she didn’t come to me to complain. She came to think strategically about how to move forward. Because when something like this goes unaddressed, three things happen: → Your work stops getting the visibility it deserves. You’re so capable that people stop advocating for you. They assume you don't need it. → Your presence starts to feel threatening (even if you’re not trying to outshine anyone) Your credibility makes new leaders uncomfortable. They start gatekeeping and create filters that quietly control what you access. → You get labeled “overqualified.” Which sounds flattering. But it’s a trap. You’re excluded from roles that seem too small, but are actually key to your next leap. High-achieving women often get sidelined because they don’t have a strategy for navigating power shifts. Here’s what our plan of action looks like in the coming weeks: ✅ Building her relationship with the new manager ✅ Securing 3 senior leaders to spotlight her value ✅ Creating a parallel exit plan so she stays in control I'll be supporting her to navigate this without pretending to be okay, politicking, or backing down. Ladies, leadership isn’t just about what you’ve done. It’s about knowing how to move when power dynamics change. This is the true essence of strategic influence. Have you ever felt quietly sidelined at work? How did you handle it? ------ 🔔 Follow me, Bosky Mukherjee - I share actionable ideas to scale your leadership journey. #leadership

This McKinsey & Company article insightfully explores the complex balancing acts and personal strategies women leaders employ to succeed at the highest levels. While the piece offers powerful perspectives on individual resilience and adaptability – the inner game, as they call it – it prompts a critical question for me: What if focusing primarily on the individual game distracts us from the outer game? What if the fundamental systems, cultures, and structures within our organizations are inadvertently setting talented women up for a struggle they shouldn't have to face on their own? Women across all professional levels, not just CEOs, confront systemic hurdles. They're told to lean in, prove themselves constantly, and somehow perfectly balance demanding careers with personal lives within often inflexible environments. When organizations expect individual women to overcome these systemic barriers through sheer personal strategy, they aren't truly supporting them; they are, in effect, undermining their potential and the organization's own success. As a leader passionate about helping ambitious women genuinely thrive, I see a clear and urgent connection between this systemic disconnect and tangible business outcomes. The cost of not actively transforming your workplace to truly support women is evident, and it's likely impacting your business right now: ·       Disengaged women directly translate to a drag on productivity and a slowdown in innovation. ·       Unequal opportunities create a leaky leadership pipeline, causing you to lose valuable talent and the investment made in them. ·       A lack of genuine support and mentorship leads to increased turnover, sending experienced professionals to competitors who offer a more inclusive and empowering environment. These are concrete obstacles directly impacting your company's growth and profitability. The flip side of this challenge is an immense opportunity. When businesses make the authentic investment in the well-being, development, and systemic empowerment of their women employees, the return is significant. Engaged, thriving individuals become powerful drivers – they are more productive, more innovative, more resilient, and deeply committed to propelling the business forward. So, here’s the critical question: Given the undeniable business impact, if you know your current systems aren't fully engaging and retaining your talented women, what are you truly willing to do differently – at a systemic level – to bridge that gap? I'm curious... https://lnkd.in/e7uTdy5q

Women are not the only ones who scapegoat. But in many workplaces, the way women do it is harder to see and even harder to name. Female relational aggression is an under-recognised force driving women out of workplaces and keeping them out of leadership. It hides behind the language of care, values, and belonging. It looks like mentorship, inclusion, and team culture until it becomes exclusion, silence, and quiet reputation damage. You expected competition from men, not cruelty from women. You thought the women’s network was a place for mentorship, not surveillance. But somewhere along the way, belonging started to feel like walking a tightrope. You watched how quickly support could turn into scrutiny. How easily warmth could harden into exclusion. How someone who once championed you began to whisper doubts about you. This is how female aggression hides in plain sight. It does not shout. It smiles, includes, praises, and then withdraws. It protects its image while eroding yours. And when the damage is done, it calls the fallout “miscommunication” or “a mismatch of values.” This pattern doesn’t just harm individuals. It keeps competent women from advancing. It rewards manipulation. It fills leadership pipelines with women who can perform empathy but not practise integrity. We keep saying women are kept out of leadership by men. But many are kept out by women who learned to turn belonging into social control. Until we face that, we will keep losing the women who could have changed the culture. 📫 I help professionals outsmart toxic systems, emotionally unhook from the cycle, and design their next moves strategically so they stay ahead of the game instead of being played. If this is your experience of women, reach out. 🔗 We don’t talk about woman-on-woman aggression because it disrupts the story that women are always safer with women. This denial is how the pattern survives: https://lnkd.in/gTS33hu2

I love the idea of middle-aged women (like me) claiming their power and having a positive impact on the world. But new research by Prof. Jennifer Chatman and her colleagues shows that along with perceptions of having impact can come a penalty for appearing less warm. And this likeability penalty can result in lower ratings, despite having the chops to do the job. All along the career ladder, women contend with the likeability-competence tradeoff. That means when they appear warm and helpful, they are not perceived to be competent. Or if they drive results, they are not perceived to be supportive of others. This is also called the likeability penalty: women doing the job required for success can be penalized. And on the flipside, men are not likely to face this penalty. While this dynamic is larger than any individual (and in many cases, built into definitions of success), there is much we can do to change the game. ✔ As individuals, we can stop responding to our “gut reaction” -- if we notice ourselves reacting negatively to a strong, assertive woman, take a pause. Ask, “Am I just reacting to the likeability penalty?” And consider giving her the benefit of the doubt. Leadership does require getting stuff done. Why act negatively to women doing their jobs? ✔ As teams, question negative evaluations of women’s communication styles. At the Stanford VMware Women's Leadership Innovation Lab, we created a framework in which we help leaders “value” the same behavior equitably. If you notice people negatively responding to a woman behaving the same way men behave, stop, and ensure you value behaviors the same for all. ✔ Last, become versed in questioning the likeability penalty when you hear it. I remember my younger self speaking negatively about a powerful woman I did not know. Her allies talked to me about the penalty. I was stunned at my own behavior. How could I, and advocate for gender equality, fall into the trap? Ever since that day, I speak up when I hear unwarranted likeability-penalty comments. In my career, so many powerful women have had my back. I hope I can do the same for others. Now that I am middle-aged, I can see much clearer that only together, can we have a positive impact on the world. Thank you to Jennifer Chatman, Daron Sharps, PhD, Sonya Mishra, Laura Kray, PhD, Michael S.North and University of California, Berkeley, Haas School of Business for this research. #womenleaders #diversityequityandinclusion #leadership