Personal Experiences of Gender Bias in Leadership

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗛𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝗻𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗔𝗯𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗠𝗲 𝗪𝗵𝗼 𝗟𝗼𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗠𝗲 Women in Tech are in minority. But as a woman leader, an AI infrastructure expert and an ex-particle physicist, I have experienced being the only woman in the room at yet another level. Not only have I only reported to men over the course of my career: 👉 The whole chain of command above me has always only been men. 👉 I've always worked for companies where the CEO and the CTO were men. 👉 In fact, almost all my peers were men, meaning that I was practically always the only woman in all staff meetings I was part of (sometimes, that would be 20 or 30 people!) When I was younger, I felt honored just to be there, part of an elite group of technologists. But that very feeling of being "lucky to be included" shaped how I behaved. I held back disagreement, afraid that if I challenged the group, it would be attributed to me being difficult, to me being... a woman. And when I was talked over or quietly ignored, it could never identify when it was discrimination, because I thought that since I was here, it must mean that they cared about my opinion, so if they shut it down, it meant I was just wrong. But then, it started costing me more than just self-confidence, but real opportunities: ❌ I couldn't find the courage to ask for promotions because I felt I should already consider myself lucky to be the highest ranking woman in my department ❌ I didn't have anyone to advise me because no one above me had gone through the same experience ❌ Some of my managers even praised me for "doing really well for a woman", so it made me feel that I was subject to different standards, and of course, no one was there to tell me otherwise ❌ I accepted the fact that I was being passed on for cool projects and promotions as a fatality In the meantime, DEI initiatives were focusing on bringing more women onboard, not helping the ones already in place grow the ladder. So if you’re the only one in the room, or the only one on the org chart who looks like you, don’t let that become a ceiling. 🤞 You are not "lucky" to be there. 💥 You are powerful. And you have every right to keep growing… and to keep dreaming 🚀 🚀🚀 #WomenInTech #Leadership #CareerGrowth #RepresentationMatters

"Can she really be a leader if she’s acting so … girly?" 💄 The question stopped me in my tracks. It came up during a recent 1-1 coaching session with a male executive. It wasn’t meant to offend — it was an honest observation. But it revealed a much deeper issue about how we view leadership and the narrow expectations we place on women in those roles.  The executive shared his struggle to reconcile this team member’s strong leadership aspirations with behaviors he perceived as “girly.” That word — so loaded with societal biases 🌶️ — became the gateway to an important conversation about gender, stereotypes, and leadership.  Through our discussion, a few key insights surfaced:  🧩🌀 Leadership isn’t about fitting a mold: True leadership combines a spectrum of qualities. Assertiveness and decisiveness are just as important as empathy and collaboration. These traits aren’t “masculine” or “feminine” — they’re human. Their value lies in how they’re applied.  ⚡️🧠 Bias influences how we see behavior: The term “girly” often reflects our own unconscious expectations rather than the individual’s ability. Are we unfairly expecting women to embody “masculine” traits? Is "acting like a man" needed to be seen as a credible leader? 👩🏻🎤🧑🏻🎤 Supporting authenticity over conformity: The executive began to recognize the importance of supporting his team member’s authentic leadership style rather than pressuring her to conform to outdated archetypes.  This conversation reinforced a crucial truth: the problem isn’t women’s behavior. It’s the unrealistic expectations we place on them. When we judge leaders by narrow stereotypes, we limit not only their growth but also the potential of our teams. But transformation takes time and reflection. The seed is often planted in trainings, but it’s in the trusted, reflective, and safer space of 1-1 coaching where these biases and assumptions can be safely explored. As this executive began to shift his perceptions and actions, it reminded me: Leaders, especially those in positions of influence, have the power to challenge biases and foster environments where the courage to embrace authenticity breaks through the crust of stereotypes. What assumptions are you holding about what leadership “should” look like? Are they serving you — or holding your team back?  

A woman tech leader underwent a series of interviews at a large corporate company. Advancing to the final round, she confidently showcased her qualifications and potential contributions. However, during the climactic interview, a question veered unexpectedly off course. "As a woman, how will you manage your professional responsibilities while nurturing and caring for your children?" The query caught her off guard, momentarily disorienting her with its implication that gender might hinder her ability to excel in the workplace. She was sure that none of other male candidates had to answer that question. This woman is none other than me. Although I was offered the job, I declined due to underlying biases and stereotypes within the organization. Recounting this experience, I reflect on how my unwavering belief in the power of diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging is now fortified. In my heart, I know that what true progress needs is to create environments where opportunities are equal, barriers are dismantled, and inclusion thrives. I have witnessed the transformational power of progress, yet I recognize the ongoing work that lies ahead. With an unyielding dedication to advocate for diversity, I continue to break down barriers, fostering an inclusive culture where every individual can thrive. Through sharing my story, I aspire to inspire others to challenge biases and join me in creating a more equitable and diverse industry. But this is just one example, I can probably go on for many more stories. I’ve seen change in the two decades of my tech career but are we there yet? Dice https://bit.ly/44XqkzT Current DEIB Efforts Aren't Enough - Equality in Tech Report shares that more than half of the respondents are not impressed with the progress their companies are making in DEIB (#Diversity #Equity #Inclusion and #Belonging) and that number keeps dipping every year.   Women, people of color, immigrants, race, gender all need to be accounted for when you are working on D&I efforts. Also, an important factor is to not just put a policy in place as “sideshow,” but measure the results and walk the talk.  With 52% of tech professionals likely to switch jobs this year (according to the most recent Dice Tech Sentiment Report https://bit.ly/471fWIX , see comment for details), organizations must consider every possible factor that will keep their valuable employees happy enough to stay.  📢We all have the role to do better and act, say something when you see something. 📢Bring your authentic self to work and create accountability at the right levels. 📢Measure the success through your D&I KPIs.   What are your thoughts? #Dice #diversityandinclusion #womenintech #whyblendin #Ad DEIB Efforts Aren't Enough - Equality in Tech Report --> https://bit.ly/44XqkzT  

6 years ago, I walked into a board meeting as the most experienced person in the room. Yet, I got interrupted, dismissed, and talked over. I was asking sharp questions, calling out blind spots, and challenging assumptions. But one of my male colleagues rolled his eyes and moved on as if I hadn’t spoken. The message was clear: “Just rubber-stamp our decisions and don’t make this difficult.” That’s when I realized... There are different rules for women in leadership. What gets called “decisive” in some is often labeled “difficult” when a woman says it. I’ve watched this play out countless times throughout my career... But speaking up is still the right thing to do. Here’s what I’ve learned navigating this: 1) Build allies who care about impact, not politics. 🤝 In high-stakes environments, decisions often get clouded by ego, legacy agendas, or internal turf wars. With the right advocates on the board, pushback doesn’t isolate you—it positions you as the voice of reason. ✅ They help amplify your message. ✅ They back your perspective with data. ✅ They keep the conversation grounded in outcomes. 2) Watch how decisions get made. One reason I’ve loved working with the executive team at Weights & Biases is their first-principles mindset. Ideas are judged on logic, not hierarchy, politics, or gender. 🧠 When the best argument wins, everyone wins. 3) Trust your gut on culture. No title or pay is worth staying somewhere that crushes your confidence. Sometimes, quitting is the smartest move. 🛡️ It’ll give you the space to find the right team that supports your growth and lets you do your best work. _________ If you’ve ever been sidelined as a female leader because you challenged an idea, here’s a reminder: You’re NOT the problem. You’re the strategic thinker holding the foundation together. 💡 That takes courage. Keep standing your ground. The right people will recognize your value—and so will the company.

I sat in a talent review inside a global company. A room where promotions were discussed. High-potential lists made. And this is what I heard: “She won’t want that much responsibility” “She doesn’t want to move to a new geography” “She just had a baby, so we shouldn’t ask her” “She’s thinking about a family, so let’s not invest in her” “She’s pretty quiet. I don’t know if she could handle that big role.” This wasn’t 1995. This was recent. Let’s be clear— These comments need to be stopped in their tracks. No one should be making career decisions about others based on assumptions. Not about geography. Not about ambition. Not about motherhood. Not about personality. Bias doesn’t always show up loud and obvious. It hides behind “concern.” Behind “gut instinct.” Behind “She probably wouldn’t want that.” It’s still bias. And it still costs women their careers. If you’re in the room, speak up. Even when it’s uncomfortable. Especially when it’s uncomfortable. Because silence is complicity. And we’re done with that.

"I fired my most inspiring female leader today — because she quit." That line in my inbox from a CHRO colleague stopped me cold. Her top performer had finally hit the wall after years of navigating the impossible balance between being "too nice to lead" and "too aggressive to like." 📊 The Performance Paradox is real. At a recent leadership summit, 68% of senior HR executives reported losing their highest-performing women within 24 months of promoting them to key positions. Here's what I've learned about retaining exceptional women leaders: 💡Create "power pairs" — Match rising female leaders with both male and female mentors to provide diverse perspectives on navigating leadership challenges 💡 Reframe "development areas" — Stop trying to fix women leaders and start leveraging their authentic leadership styles 💡 Measure what matters — Track promotion velocity and retention rates by performance tier to spot flight risks early True story: Last quarter, I watched a brilliant VP get feedback that she was "too direct" in leading tough conversations. The next week, her male peer was praised for being "refreshingly candid" in the same situation. The lesson? The problem isn't our women leaders — it's our contradictory expectations. What unexpected successes have you seen when you supported women leaders in leading authentically? 🤔 PS: If you've experienced the "too nice/too aggressive" paradox yourself, I'd love to hear your story in the comments. We learn best from shared experiences. 🌟

Being the only woman in the room can take a significant toll, and it's not easy to fully grasp this until you've experienced it. But it's also tempting to get caught up in this dynamic, dwell on it too much, and lose yourself, ultimately turning what could be a unique advantage into either a burden or a shortcoming. As someone who is frequently in this situation, I can absolutely empathize. Self-doubt and fear of the unknown are very real. How do you prove to others that you belong there and deserve their respect, investment, or support? There's really no such thing as being over-prepared for these situations. I recently attended a meeting for which I had clearly over-prepared. Despite knowing I was overthinking it, the extensive preparation proved beneficial when I found myself as the only woman at the table. Early in this career, I was less confident speaking up in meetings, worried that my ideas might be dismissed. Soon enough, I started working with men who, through their actions and the way they treated me, reaffirmed that I belonged in the room, and my gender had nothing to do with it. As a result, gradually, I contributed more. While some ideas were immediately shot down, a few others were embraced and even implemented. Some colleagues saw my value and asked for feedback. Others asked me to refine my ideas and come back the next day. Instead of taking it personally, I understood this was part of the professional landscape. It's work—not personal, and I've come to embrace this fact, even when it's a tough one to accept. When you connect with people in the workplace who make you feel comfortable and confident, make an effort to build those relationships—and appreciate those who challenge you. I've learned to seize these opportunities and grow from them. Some people may patronize you, even unintentionally, while others will treat you as an equal. In the end, it's what you take away from the experience that counts, not just what you bring to the room. Whether you're the only woman in a room full of men or in the majority, always strive to do your best, find allies wherever you can, and look for opportunities to collaborate. Building alliances isn't just about attending networking events; it's about working with others and proving you're more than just the only woman in the room or, for a change, one of many females around the same conference table. You're more than a mere % of a company's annual quota. #womenasleaders #theonlywomanatthetable #GirlPower

⚠️Lately, I’ve noticed a subtle bias that deserves attention⚠️ In recent conversations with a colleague, “war stories” were told with the intent to be “relatable” yet the narratives were only of 🅕🅔🅜🅐🅛🅔 aviators used as negative examples. After the fourth “story time”, I asked: “Do you only choose to remember weaker female examples, or have you truly never had a less-than-stellar male crew member?” This moment has stuck with me and left me pondering—not because it was about me, but because it reflected something deeper. My experience, professionalism, and skills were instantly overshadowed by a narrative rooted in gender. It may seem small, but this is how division begins. Trust breaks down. Credibility is questioned. And women—still the minority in the cockpit—are left to prove themselves over and over, again and again. Let me be clear: I love being a crew dog and kicking it in the “boys club”. I value the camaraderie. And I’ve learned from exceptional aviators of all genders— but primarily men. But bias lingers—and it undermines not just one woman’s work, but the progress of all of us. 👏🏼We don’t have time for outdated mindsets when we (aviation professionals) are focused on safe skies, trained pilots, and mission success. We fly better when we trust each other. We lead better when we uplift each other. And we elevate the profession when we judge performance—not gender. 🎤 Let’s keep the bar high for everyone—fly a good airplane, make wise decisions, and leave the stereotypes on the ground. #WomenInAviation #Qualified #FlightDeckFocus #SafeSkiesFirst #BiasHasNoPlaceHere #LiftAsYouClimb #ProfessionalismOverPolitics #Aviation #Pilot #FlightCrew #Aircrew

I have repeatedly experienced leadership bias because I am female. My detailed plans are not taken seriously. My results are not believed. However, if a man - in an effort to help - explains my own numbers, my vision, my results, they are taken seriously. Both men and women alike fall prey to “a man said it, so it must be true”. Check your bias: If I say that I am not heard, do you believe me, or want specific examples, more evidence? Then imagine a man commented on this thread and said - yes I see this as well in my place of work - you might believe him just a bit more easily? I am giving voice to add to the many women I see on LI who have risked their careers or reputation by speaking up. My ask: male leaders, speak up about bias in the workplace when it happens. - this is not a women’s issue - this is a human issue.

“I have the power to put your research on my desk and not look at it for another year—and refuse to pass you.” That was the direct quote from a professor just days before I was scheduled to defend my master’s thesis in 2010. Context matters: A year earlier, I had confronted this same professor—with witness testimony—about his inappropriate behavior over the course of several months. This threat was one of many subtle and overt acts of retaliation I endured for speaking up. It wasn’t the only defining moment in my career. I’ve had volatile managers, inappropriate colleagues, and crossed boundaries. I learned early to stand up for myself, call it out, and move on. But here’s the truth: I never formally reported any of it. Not because I wasn’t affected. Not because it wasn’t serious. But because I didn’t believe anything would change. A part of me hoped the industry had evolved. And then I saw the data. In Females in Food Community® State of Women in the Industry survey, 39% of respondents said they have experienced verbal or physical harassment in the workplace. https://lnkd.in/gXCEeix3 That number is staggering—and unacceptable. Gender bias shows up in many forms. Sometimes it’s blatant. Often, it’s subtle. But the cumulative effect is real—and damaging. I share this not for sympathy (ask me instead about the one-liners I’ve come up with over the years), but because I know I’m not alone. If we want to build workplaces where women can lead, thrive, and stay—we have to start by acknowledging the truth. Have the hard conversations. Speak up. Listen. Hold each other accountable. It starts with us.