Internal Dialogue for Female Leaders

As a CEO who is also a woman, I’ve had to get really good at filtering feedback (and even better at filtering my own thoughts). Those stories us leaders replay in our heads? They quietly hold us back. I'm starting to get good at recognizing a few of mine. My inner voice often says: → “I’m too direct” (when what I really am is decisive) → “I’m not good at networking” (when I actually thrive in meaningful conversations) → “I can’t say I’m great at that” (because what if someone disagrees?) As female leaders, we’re often taught to shrink our strengths just enough to make them more comfortable for everyone else. But that’s not leadership. That’s survival. Great leaders choose their thoughts and make them actionable. So here’s me, doing that work: 📝 Writing down what I’m great at. 💭 Not flinching when it feels bold. 🔁 Rewriting the soundtrack when it starts to loop. If you’ve ever caught yourself downplaying your strength because it might come across as too much, you’re not alone. But you also don’t have to stay stuck there. We get to choose better thoughts. And with them, a better direction. #WomenInLeadership #ImposterSyndrome #Confidence #WomenInBusiness

The Quietest Leadership Skill No One Talks About Most of us think confidence is something we earn through achievement, feedback, or recognition. But after years of leading teams, presenting in boardrooms, and navigating tough conversations, I’ve realized confidence starts long before anyone else is watching. It begins in the quiet moments—getting dressed for the day, preparing for a meeting, driving in silence. It begins with how we talk to ourselves. Self-talk is one of the most underdeveloped leadership muscles, especially for women. We’re often harder on ourselves than any boss, client, or investor could ever be. We focus on how we’re perceived before we’ve even stepped into the room. If we’re not intentional in those small internal moments—reminding ourselves of our capability, our preparation, and our value—we can walk into spaces already feeling “less than.” The truth? Presence doesn’t come from perfection. It comes from alignment. It comes from managing your mindset with the same discipline you apply to your work. Your inner voice is the most influential leader you’ll ever follow. Make sure it’s someone worth listening to.

I was shadowing a coaching client in her leadership meeting when I watched this brilliant woman apologize six times in 30 minutes. 1. “Sorry, this might be off-topic, but..." 2. “I'm could be wrong, but what if we..." 3. “Sorry again, I know we're running short on time..." 4. “I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but..." 5. “This is just my opinion, but..." 6. “Sorry if I'm being too pushy..." Her ideas? They were game-changing. Every single one. Here's what I've learned after decades of coaching women leaders: Women are masterful at reading the room and keeping everyone comfortable. It's a superpower. But when we consistently prioritize others' comfort over our own voice, we rob ourselves, and our teams, of our full contribution. The alternative isn't to become aggressive or dismissive. It's to practice “gracious assertion": • Replace "Sorry to interrupt" with "I'd like to add to that" • Replace "This might be stupid, but..." with "Here's another perspective" • Replace "I hope this makes sense" with "Let me know what questions you have" • Replace "I don't want to step on toes" with "I have a different approach" • Replace "This is just my opinion" with "Based on my experience" • Replace "Sorry if I'm being pushy" with "I feel strongly about this because" But how do you know if you're hitting the right note? Ask yourself these three questions: • Am I stating my needs clearly while respecting others' perspectives? (Assertive) • Am I dismissing others' input or bulldozing through objections? (Aggressive) • Am I hinting at what I want instead of directly asking for it? (Passive-aggressive) You can be considerate AND confident. You can make space for others AND take up space yourself. Your comfort matters too. Your voice matters too. Your ideas matter too. And most importantly, YOU matter. @she.shines.inc #Womenleaders #Confidence #selfadvocacy

A senior woman leader told me this recently: “I’m not even chasing the next role anymore. I just want to stop feeling like I’m disappearing.” And I knew exactly what she meant... Because at this level, disappearing doesn’t just look like being excluded from meetings. ↳ It looks like being in the meeting, and still not being heard. ↳ It looks like having a seat at the table, but no weight behind your voice. ↳ It looks like your value being recognized… but not remembered. And it’s not because you’re not performing. It’s because no one teaches you how to manage perception; once performance is no longer the differentiator. She wasn’t struggling with the work.  She was struggling with being seen as a leader. So we focused on what actually shifts perception from operational to executive: 1. She stopped summarizing what had been done and started speaking to what the business would need next. And people start listening when they hear strategy, not status. 2. She identified the enterprise conversations she was missing and found intentional ways to contribute before being invited. Because influence isn’t earned by staying in your lane. It’s built by creating clarity across lanes. 3. She practiced saying the uncomfortable thing not to provoke, but to elevate. Because when your insights are anchored in pattern recognition and business risk, your voice stops blending in. It starts setting the tone. This wasn’t just about being more visible. It was about being visible in the right ways to the right people for the right reasons. Because leadership at this level isn’t just what you do. It’s what people remember you for. So if your value isn’t sticking: Maybe it’s how you’re narrating your leadership in the room. #womenintech #womenleaders #leadershipdevelopment #womeninleadership #careergrowth

A man does it: leadership. A woman does it: attitude? Can we talk about this? One of my clients, a brilliant design leader, relocated from South America to Europe. She’s experienced. Strategic. Solution-oriented. But lately? Every time she: Drives initiatives Pushes for clarity Suggests better metrics. She hears: “𝘠𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘢𝘨𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦.” “𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩.” It’s disorienting. And unfortunately? It’s not uncommon. I’ve heard this story from clients in North America, Europe, Asia, Latin America. The pattern holds. → When a man leads assertively, he’s confident. → When a woman does it, she’s difficult. We call it cultural misfit. Or misalignment. Or lack of emotional intelligence. But what it really is? A discomfort with how leadership looks when it doesn’t match the mold. So how do we navigate this? 💬 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬: → Reframe your “aggression” as clarity → Speak about your intent before presenting ideas → State the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’: “𝘐’𝘮 𝘴𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 [𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘤 𝘨𝘰𝘢𝘭].” 💬 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫: → When someone’s labeled “too much,” Ask: “𝘛𝘰𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘰?” → Give feedback that separates tone from substance → Amplify voices that are often asked to shrink Leadership doesn’t come in one tone, one accent, or one communication style. But the systems we operate in still reward what looks familiar. That’s the real tension. Not ambition. Not confidence. Not communication. Perception. And the only way we change perception…. Is by naming it. Challenging it. And choosing not to shrink from it. Have you seen this happen in your org? Or experienced it yourself? Let’s talk about it. 👇 P.S. What’s one communication habit you’ve had to adapt over time? Also, here's a lil surprise announcement: https://lnkd.in/efRVzxy2