How to Deliver Negative Feedback as a Manager

If your feedback isn't changing behavior, you're not giving feedback—you're just complaining. After 25 years of coaching leaders through difficult conversations, I've learned that most feedback fails because it focuses on making the giver feel better rather than making the receiver better. Why most feedback doesn't work: ↳ It's delivered months after the fact ↳ It attacks personality instead of addressing behavior ↳ It assumes the person knows what to do differently ↳ It's given when emotions are high ↳ It lacks specific examples or clear direction The feedback framework that actually changes behavior: TIMING: Soon, not eventually. Give feedback within 48 hours when possible Don't save it all for annual reviews. Address issues while they're still relevant. INTENT: Lead with purpose and use statements like - "I'm sharing this because I want to see you succeed" or "This feedback comes from a place of support." Make your positive intent explicit. STRUCTURE: Use the SBI Model. ↳Situation: When and where it happened ↳Behavior: What you observed (facts, not interpretations) ↳Impact: The effect on results, relationships, or culture COLLABORATION: Solve together by using statements such as - ↳"What's your perspective on this?" ↳"What would help you succeed in this area?" ↳"How can I better support you moving forward?" Great feedback is a gift that keeps giving. When people trust your feedback, they seek it out. When they implement it successfully, they become advocates for your leadership. Your feedback skills significantly impact your leadership effectiveness. Coaching can help; let's chat. | Joshua Miller What's the best feedback tip/advice, and what made it effective? #executivecoaching #communication #leadership #performance

💥 Feedback is a gift they say. But only if you trust the messenger. Too many leaders confuse sharing their opinions of your actions as feedback, and when it’s critical, they might remain silent. But silence doesn’t build trust. Accountability does. If you want a practical way to give feedback that builds clarity and connection (not conflict), try the SBI+A Method: Situation, Behavior, Impact — plus Action. It’s my favorite feedback framework and it can be used for affirmative AND constructive feedback for peers, your teams and your leaders. Here’s how it works, with real-life prompts you can use today - 💬 S.B.I.+A : 🟪 SITUATION Anchor the conversation in time and place. Be specific so the context is clear. -“In yesterday’s 1:1 with the client…” -“During our team meeting this morning…” 🟧 BEHAVIOR Describe exactly what was said or done — only what you observed. Keep it neutral, which can help to de-personalize the message. - “…you rolled your eyes when Marcus offered his idea…” - “…you proactively prepared a visual to explain …” 🟨 IMPACT Here’s the heart of the conversation. Focus on the effect, not your assumption about their intent. - “…it shut down the conversation and made it harder to hear different viewpoints.” - “...it strengthened the presentation and built client confidence in our work.” 🟦 ACTION (this optional, but powerful IMO) Suggest what to change — or what to continue if it was positive. This is also an opportunity to invite the recipient of constructive feedback to share what actions they will take in light of this feedback. Sometimes, this is best delivered in a follow-up conversation after the recipient has had time to process the feedback. - “In the future, try pausing before responding so we hold space for full ideas.” - “Keep doing that — your clarity helped move the project forward.” ---------- 💡 I think this model is helpful for people-centered, equity-driven leadership because: *It builds a shared language to talk about harm, even when it’s unintentional. *It helps us shift from blame to growth — perfect for leaders trying to close the gap between intent and impact. *It makes feedback feel actionable instead of personal. And most importantly, when done well: it gets everyone back on the same page!

In my first year as a manager I alienated one of my reports by giving him too much feedback in a direct and pointed way. The feedback was "right" but delivered to bluntly and thus unwelcome. Just because you “can” give feedback doesn’t mean you should. The power of your feedback comes from the trust you build with your reports. Here is how you can build it: The most important thing to understand is that even if you have the institutional authority to deliver this feedback (your title), you need the relational authority before you can deliver it effectively. Read this line again please - doing so will help you avoid either giving pain or making problems for yourself (I did both). This means that your reports need to trust and respect you before they will listen to any feedback you give. You can build this trust and respect by: 0) Being Empathetic I was too blunt. I thought that only being right or wrong mattered, not how I said things or the judgment in my tone and words. I lacked Emotional Intelligence (EQ). How you say things matters, and this means not just the words you say but the real intent behind them. My intention in that early review was not truly focused on helping the person, but rather on scolding him into better behavior. I'm not surprised he reacted poorly to it. 1) Being Consistent Good managers are consistently giving feedback—both bad and good—to their reports. Make sure you are recognizing and acknowledging your employees’ strengths as much (or more) than you are pointing out their areas for improvement. This will make them feel comfortable with you pointing out room for improvement because they know you see them for more than their flaws. 2) Never surprise someone with a review. This is related to point 1. If you are consistently giving small pieces of feedback, a more serious piece of negative feedback should not blindside your employee. They should know that it is coming and understand what the issue is. 3) Deliver corrective feedback ASAP, and use clear examples. As soon as you see a pattern of behavior that needs to be addressed, address it using clear evidence. This gives the employee the chance to reflect on the behavior while it is still fresh in their minds, not months later when their review comes around. 4) Check in to confirm that you are being heard correctly Ask the employee if they understand the feedback you are giving and why you are giving it. 5) Be specific enough to drive change The more specific behaviors and examples you can use to support your feedback, the better your employee can understand that you aren’t speaking from a place of dislike or bias. This also gives them more concrete references to inform their behavior change. Readers—What other ways do you build a relationship before giving feedback? (Or, how have you messed this up?)