Adaptive Emotional Responses

The CEO's voice crackled with anxiety over the video call. "𝑾𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒈𝒚 𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑵𝒐𝒘." I sighed inwardly. Our 3rd emergency meeting in 11 weeks. 𝐀 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲. The pattern was clear: ↪ Market shift triggers uncertainty in business model ↪ Anxious CEO calls for full strategy overhaul ↪ Team scrambles to re-plan everything ↪ Brief illusion of control ↪ New market shift.  ↪ Rinse. Repeat. The CPO was frustrated: "𝑾𝒆'𝒓𝒆 𝒅𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒓𝒆𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌." The CSO was exasperated: "𝑵𝒐𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒑..." Innovation stalled. Base business thudded. The team was burning out. My role as advisor? 𝐓𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐩 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐭𝐡 𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞. Inspired by an aha moment in my morning walk, I posed a question. "𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐚𝐝𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐞?" Confused looks all around, but I also saw a glimmer of intrigue. 🧠 𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐅𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤: • Embrace uncertainty as a catalyst for innovation • Replace rigid plans with adaptive strategies • Cultivate team resilience over leader omniscience 🛠️ 𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐖𝐞 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝: • Weekly "uncertainty check-ins" to normalize change • Rapid prototyping instead of endless planning • Celebrating adaptive wins, not just meeting targets 👏 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐬 • Endless strategy sessions cut by 70% • Two major product launches in 6 months • CEO anxiety noticeably lowered • Team cohesion and creativity skyrocketed 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧: 𝐀𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥. 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐲, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭. 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐓𝐮𝐫𝐧: What leadership anxiety can you transform into the rocket fuel of adaptability? Photo: me recreating my face when hit by the Anxiety♻️Adaptability aha that morning! #Entreprenurship #Anxiety #AdaptiveLeadership #Transformation #EmotionalIntelligence

Insults hurt. Unless ... you know how to handle them. Your response changes everything. Picture this: You're presenting. Someone interrupts, "That's not realistic." Your face burns. Heart races. Everyone stares. The real power isn't in the insult. It's in the gap between feeling and responding. Master it, and you'll master any situation. Here are 8 powerful ways to turn insults into opportunities: 1. Ask Better Questions 💬 "They just called my idea stupid in front of everyone!" ➟ Pause, then ask "Could you help me understand why?" ➟ Let them explain their perspective fully ➟ Watch as defensiveness melts away 💡 Questions shift pressure back to the critic, making them reflect Try: Practice saying "Tell me more about that" in a mirror tonight 2. Rewrite Your Story 💬 "They must think I'm totally incompetent" ➟ Replace "They hate me" with "They might be stressed" ➟ Focus on facts, not assumptions ➟ Remember: It's rarely personal 💡 Our interpretation of events shapes our emotional response Try: Write down one negative thought and its positive alternative 3. Use Smart Humor 💬 "Someone mocked my presentation style" ➟ Respond with light self-deprecating humor ➟ Keep it gentle, never biting ➟ Smile genuinely while delivering 💡 Humor signals confidence and reduces tension instantly Try: Think of one friendly comeback for common criticism 4. Practice SOBER Response 💬 "I react too quickly when insulted" ➟ Stop ➟ Observe your body ➟ Breathe deeply ➟ Expand awareness ➟ Respond thoughtfully 💡 This method gives your rational brain time to catch up Try: Take three deep breaths before responding next time 5. Speak Diplomatically 💬 "I never know how to address disrespect" ➟ Describe the situation factually ➟ Express feelings calmly ➟ Assert needs clearly 💡 Structure provides confidence in tense moments Try: Write down one situation using this format 6. Create Mental Distance 💬 "Insults feel too personal" ➟ Imagine putting the insult in a "Not Personal" bucket ➟ Watch it dissolve ➟ Respond from clarity 💡 Physical visualization reduces emotional reactivity Try: Draw your "Not Personal" bucket and keep it visible 7. Prepare Your Blueprint 💬 "I freeze when criticized" ➟ Have two ready responses: - "Interesting point, tell me more" - "I see it differently because..." ➟ Practice them regularly 💡 Preparation eliminates panic in tough moments Try: Memorize one go-to response today 8. Welcome Challenges 💬 "I dread difficult interactions" ➟ See each insult as growth opportunity ➟ Think: "Great, I can practice staying calm" ➟ Focus on your response, not their words 💡 Mindset shifts transform threats into opportunities Try: Say "This is my chance to grow" next time you're challenged Insults are temporary. Your response is permanent. Which technique will you practice today? ♻️ Repost if this resonated with you! 🔖 Follow me Suren Samarchyan for more.

My emotional response is often my greatest antagonist. I've used these 4 tools in my own internal battles. Rage → can be more maddening than the thing that angered you.  Hate → can be more poisonous than that that which is hated. Fear → can be more debilitating than that which is feared.  In fact, few problems cause more suffering,  than that which our unattended mind inflicts on us. Apatheia comes from stoicism and is the state of being free  from emotional disturbances or irrational impulses. Breathe  ↳ Emotional agitation will cause shallow breathing.  ↳ Four-count box breaths are my go-to for getting grounded. Mindful detachment  ↳ Feelings aren't facts, and you are not your feelings.  ↳ I observe the emotion without judgment, like a spectator. Acknowledge and Label ↳ Nobody reacts well to being pushed away, including emotions.  ↳ I'll name the emotion for what it is to create some distance. Surrender & Perspective  ↳ Reality is unfolding before me, and fighting it won't help.  ↳ In the grand scheme of things, is this really worth getting so worked up over? BONUS: You can intentionally expose yourself to discomfort or challenges,  that build your tolerance for the inevitable emotional stressors.  Patch that roof before it starts raining, not during the storm.  Because the rain will always come. P.S. One of my favorite questions when getting worked up and acting out is: "Do I have new data, or am I just being emotional?" 

Even with a strong therapeutic alliance and clear cognitive insight, sessions can stall when the body’s survival circuitry is still online. Somatic expressions • Fight • Flight • Freeze • Collapse • Fawn Often emerge before a client can put words to their experience. These adaptive autonomic responses are shaped by implicit threat memory, attachment-based neuroception, and protective parts working to keep the system safe. In practice, progress often comes from meeting these responses directly, rather than pushing past them. This can mean: • Orienting to cues of safety in the room and in the relationship • Titrating exposure to interoceptive signals so the body learns they can be tolerated • Integrating narrative and somatic processing through methods such as EMDR, somatic tracking, or IFS-informed unburdening Recognizing these patterns as survival strategies, not pathology, shifts the clinical frame. It reduces mutual frustration in the session and opens new pathways for integration and repair. -Which somatic pattern tends to be most complex to work with in your caseload, and why? When we share these concepts within professional circles, we spark richer dialogue and broaden the range of tools available for the work that matters most. - I am Hanouf Alahmari, LMFT, a bilingual therapist licensed in California and Saudi Arabia, specializing in trauma, attachment, and relational healing. I use evidence-based, culturally attuned approaches like EMDR, IFS, and attachment-focused therapy to support lasting change in MENA and Muslim communities. #TraumaInformed #SomaticTherapy #IFS #EMDR #Polyvagal #TraumaRecovery #BodyMindIntegration

The first time I recognized how my emotions were affecting my leadership was during a challenging meeting with my team. I found myself getting defensive; my heart was racing, and my thinking clouded as two team members pushed back on our agenda. Rather than responding effectively, I mentally withdrew. This moment taught me a crucial lesson that would become the cornerstone of our Teams Learning Library's first capability: 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄 & 𝗚𝗿𝗼𝘄 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳. Research reveals that our brains are designed to have emotional responses before rational thinking kicks in. When a team member challenges us, our amygdala triggers a stress response in milliseconds—long before our prefrontal cortex can analyze what's happening. Through my research and experience developing the Teams Learning Library, I’ve discovered that team leaders who excel in self-awareness focus on three key dimensions: 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 - Recognizing your feelings as they arise, understanding their source, and choosing your response rather than reacting automatically 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀 - Understanding how your personality and background shape your natural leadership style, and when that style helps or hinders your team 𝗧𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 - Identifying specific situations that activate your stress response, and developing strategies to manage these moments When leaders lack self-awareness, teams pay the price. I've observed how unexamined triggers lead to inconsistent responses, team members feeling unsafe to share ideas, artificial harmony instead of productive conflict, and leadership that's reactive rather than intentional. As one leader told me: "I was constantly frustrated that my team avoided difficult conversations. It took me months to realize they were mirroring my own discomfort with conflict." The journey to greater self-awareness isn't always comfortable, but it's the foundation upon which all other leadership capabilities build. When you truly know yourself, you can lead with intention rather than reaction. What leadership trigger has been most challenging for you to manage? Share your experience in the comments. P.S. If you’re a leader, I recommend checking out my free challenge: The Resilient Leader: 28 Days to Thrive in Uncertainty  https://lnkd.in/gxBnKQ8n

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫: "𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧."? This came up in a coaching conversation just this morning. What I offered: The idea that emotions are simply information means understanding that emotions aren't just things we feel—𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆'𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝘂𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀. Instead of seeing emotions as purely reactive or disruptive, we can view them as messages, offering insights into our needs, values, and environment. ➡ When we feel an emotion like anger, for example, it often points to a boundary that has been crossed or a value that’s been challenged. ➡ Sadness might signal a need for connection or an acknowledgment of loss. 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀, 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲, 𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀, showing us what matters to us and helping us make decisions aligned with our well-being. By approaching emotions this way, we’re less likely to judge or suppress them. Instead, we can pause and ask, “𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙧𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚?” 𝗜𝗻 𝗮 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁, 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗲 𝗮 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝘁𝗼𝗼𝗹 for decision-making, team dynamics, and fostering a positive work culture. ✅ Leaders who understand and acknowledge their own emotions—and those of their team members—can respond thoughtfully rather than reactively. ✅ This approach enhances emotional intelligence, allowing leaders to address concerns proactively, communicate with empathy, and build trust. ✅ By treating emotions as data points, leaders can better identify areas for improvement, resolve conflicts, and create an environment where employees feel valued, understood, and motivated. This makes it clear that 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 and benefits the entire team. This can lead to more constructive responses, clearer communication, and better alignment with our goals and values. Embracing emotions as information also helps reduce the stigma around certain emotions, recognizing them as natural responses that bring valuable guidance.

In the relentless rush of today’s world, where the pressure to perform is ever-present, we often hear that we must "master our emotions" to succeed. But have we misunderstood what this truly means? Too often, this ideas misconstrued as suppression—a stoic facade where feelings are buried deep, never to be acknowledged. But, what if we instead recognized our emotions as a valid form of intelligence that could inform a conscious response? From an Adlerian psychological perspective, emotions are deeply intertwined with our sense of purpose and belonging. According to Alfred Adler, emotions are not just reactions to our environment; they are expressions of our goals and the meanings we ascribe to our experiences. This is not about avoidance or suppression; it is about acceptance, understanding, and adjustment. In high-pressure environments, self-command is essential. I started my career working with people in extreme crisis scenarios that involved imminent harm to self or others. It was my job to remain calm, be a refuge for people who had nowhere else to turn, and figure out how to influence them without really influencing them at all. I learned a lot about how to recognize my own reactions while being present for someone else. When we understand our emotions and integrate them into our decision-making, we can act with both rationality and humanity. When the stakes are high, this is the difference between acting impulsively and responding thoughtfully. It’s the ability to remain centered amid chaos, to find clarity in confusion. Adlerian psychology teaches us that our emotional responses are not fixed; they can be shaped by our choices and our understanding of our life's purpose. Mastering emotions isn't about being unfeeling; it's about being fully engaged with our feelings and using them to navigate the complexities of our professional and personal lives. Our feelings, however intense or uncomfortable, are not obstacles, but guides—indicators of where we need to focus our energy and attention. This kind of emotional proficiency is not a form of control, but a form of liberation—a way to fully engage with life, even in its most demanding moments. This is where true performance thrives: where the heart and mind are aligned, even in the most challenging situations. To your humanity!