How to Build Sustainable Donor Relationships

The power of fundraising doesn’t come from frantic activity. It comes from alignment. People keep asking me for some step-by-step guidance here and I've never done one of these styles of posts before....but here it goes: If I were the Chief Development Officer of a nonprofit and needed to significantly increase funding by the end of the calendar year, here’s exactly what I’d do 👇 Step 1: Identify Your Power Partners Not just a big list of names in a database. Instead, identify the 20-30 donors who genuinely align with your mission, values, and current strategic goals. (If you can't name them offhand, this is your starting point.) Step 2: Identify what is truly valuable to each type of funder and how it aligns with their motivations and interests. Step 3: Map Your Assets Understand all of the unique assets your organization brings to the table. Whether it's your social media reach, your storytelling, volunteer opportunities, or deep community engagement. Step 4: Block Time for Real Connection not endless emails or automated stewardship. Focus on authentic, one-on-one conversations. Schedule meetings with clear intentions, rooted in curiosity and mutual benefit. Prioritize these conversations like your fundraising depends on them. Because it does. Step 5: Track Alignment, Not Just Dollars: Fundraising cannot be transactional; it's relational. Track where your donors are in their alignment journey with your mission. Are they excited? Curious? Or drifting away? If you're only tracking dollars raised, you're missing the real indicators of your fundraising health. Step 6: Prioritize Aligned Opportunities: That massive donor who hasn’t responded to outreach in months? They’re not your priority right now. But the donor who just opened up about a personal connection to your cause? Lean into that alignment and nurture it. Always prioritize mutual benefit, strategic alignment, and shared impact. Step 7: Equip Your Team for Alignment Fundraising: If your fundraisers spend hours toggling between unclear tasks, they’re not effectively engaging donors. Provide clear systems and tools that support aligned fundraising, foster authentic relationships, and track meaningful engagement. If you consistently operate from a place of alignment and authenticity, you'll not only see fundraising results but you'll also decrease stress, burnout, and overwhelm. Fundraising is about people. And when you put aligned relationships at the core of your strategy, everything else falls into place. What do you think? What steps did I miss? What else would you add?

“Always Be Closing” (ABC) is DEAD 😵 It’s icky, it’s transactional, it doesn’t work. When I was in theater school, the play Glengarry Glen Ross was mandatory. Maybe you’ve seen the movie? (Alec Baldwin yelling “Coffee is for closers!” at a room full of other white guys–I did NOT like watching him be mean to Jack Lemmon 😢.) Here’s the deal: these days we’re all  “marketed” to (thousands of times a day). Your community members have a SPIDEY SENSE for “hard sell” tactics. 🕸️ Don’t. Ever. Go. There. 🤔Instead, adopt a new ABC (here are my two favorites!): ✨ ABC: ”ALWAYS BE CANDID” ✨ When I’m coaching clients on how to make authentic, successful 5-Minute Fundraising Asks, they frequently share that they have the IMPULSE to be HONEST, but don’t follow it. Why does this happen? Most times it’s because the client is AFRAID TO BE VULNERABLE. Go ahead & level with the community member: admit that you’re only a two-person staff, or that there’s a deficit you’re working to reduce, or that the last production didn’t sell as many single tickets as you’d anticipated. 💫Your vulnerable candor will lead to the community member being honest & open with you, too. You’ll deepen the relationship–not just for the duration of this conversation, but in the long run as well. 💫 ✨ABC: ALWAYS BE CURIOUS ✨ Stop looking for a binary “yes or no” answer and start exploring the “why.” Clients frequently tell me that they’re afraid to OVERSTEP in a fundraising conversation, but this desire to be polite/unobtrusive actually leads to their community members perceiving them as cold & impersonal. Focus on the “forest” of building a strong relationship with this person, as opposed to the “tree” of whether or not they agree to make a donation during this chat. Treat your community member as you would a friend of a friend at a dinner party and PRACTICE INTENTIONAL LISTENING. Ask them WHY they haven’t been attending your events, WHAT they’re doing with their time instead, HOW they’d like to engage with your org. 💫Bonus: genuinely connecting with your community member will make the conversation much more pleasant & rewarding for BOTH of you. 💫 🎙️: Does anyone else have thoughts on uprooting “ALWAYS BE CLOSING” 😵 & what we should plant in its place? 🌱 #fundraising #nonprofit #nonprofitleadership #fundraiser #takingtheickoutoftheask

A few weeks ago, I mentioned in a post that I believe donor fatigue is a myth and an excuse. I got lots of feedback. Positive and negative. I’m not saying that donors don’t get tired and stop giving. I’m asking: why? A few thoughts… 🔍 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐓𝐢𝐞𝐬: If donors only hear from you when you're asking for money, it's time to evolve the relationship. Are we listening to their stories, sharing ours, and building a connection beyond monetary transactions? 🔍 𝐈𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐭: A donor is investing in your mission. If they can't visualize the change their gift is making, they might distance themselves. Share regular, tangible stories of impact. Let them see and feel their contributions at work. 🔍 𝐋𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐍𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬: Send more than mere updates. As fundraisers, we should inspire, resonate, and remind donors why they got involved in the first place. Craft stories that evoke emotion and commitment.  🔍 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐬: Is the donation still going toward the cause the donor originally supported? Ensure your donor's intention aligns with the current use of their gifts. 🔍 𝐂𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: Are you articulating the need effectively? It's vital to be specific about where the funds will go. Vague asks begin to all sound alike and can deter a potential donor. What are the other reasons donors stop giving?

You’re probably missing out on your best source of donor acquisition. I was helping a friend who and just started at a small nonprofit. I asked to take a look at their high level fundraising metrics and she gave me that look. The look where the person knows it’s something that they should have, but they don’t. It wasn’t her fault, she was new. I gave her a list of metrics & told her where to focus - esp. how many donors gave last year but haven’t given in 13 months. These donors are GOLD for your organization. Have you sufficiently addressed reasons donors quit giving? I recommend picking up the phone and calling donors. Thank them for their past support. Tell them what a great impact they’ve made. Ask the donor questions to discover their motivations. These calls will help you understand the gaps: why do people quit giving? The trick to getting them to come back is to stop asking them for money. Add value to their life. This might look like an invite to an event where you’re not asking them for a donation. When you invest into someone, the power of reciprocity will cause them to want to invest back into you. Your best source of new donor acquisition may not be new donors at all, but instead, the people who have already shown you they care about your cause.