Emotional Intelligence in Communication

90% of people I talk to say they don’t know how to appear confident when sitting in a meeting. 3 powerful body language tactics I use in every seated meeting to feel & appear confident: 𝟭. 𝗣𝗵𝘆𝘀𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗔𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 • Angle your torso directly toward the person you're speaking with (I love swivel chairs over low couches when given the choice) • On Zoom, position your camera so your entire body faces it (not just glancing over)  • If seated at a weird restaurant angle, physically move your chair to face the other person When your toes, torso, and head all point toward someone, they literally feel like you're on the same page. Physical alignment creates psychological alignment. ____ 𝟮. 𝗢𝗽𝗲𝗻 𝗕𝗼𝗱𝘆, 𝗢𝗽𝗲𝗻 𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗱 • Keep your hands visible on the table  • Never cross your arms (even when cold)  • Avoid any barriers between you and the other person Research is clear: People with crossed arms are rated as closed, distant, and close-minded. More importantly, researchers found that when people try to generate creative ideas with crossed arms, they produce fewer ideas! Closed body = closed mind. ____ 𝟯. 𝗠𝗶𝗿𝗿𝗼𝗿 & 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗻 • Use physical proximity to signal interest • Lean in when you like an idea or person ("Wow, tell me more" + lean)  • Mirror your conversation partner's energy  • (fast talker = more gestures, slow talker = slower pace) Mirroring shows respect by matching communication styles. People naturally like those who communicate similarly to them. The lean is your nonverbal way of highlighting interest - it's like physically bolding your words. ____ These tricks do more than make you seem confident - they actually change how you think. When I use these in meetings, press, or podcast interviews, I see immediate differences in how creative and engaged I feel. Try them in your next meeting and watch what happens.

Empathy isn’t soft it’s a superpower. Used wrong, it burns leaders out. Here’s how to make it sustainable. Empathic orgs see more creativity, helping, resilience and less burnout and attrition. Employees (esp. Millennials/Gen Z) now expect it. Wearing the “empathy helmet” means you feel everyone’s highs and lows. Middle managers fry first. Caring ≠ self-sacrifice. The fix = Sustainable empathy Care without collapsing by stacking: self-compassion → tuned caring → practice. So drop the martyr mindset. • Notice your stress (name it) • Remember it’s human & shared • Talk to yourself like you would a friend • Ask for help model it and your team will too Why does this matter? Unchecked stress dulls perspective and spikes reactivity. When leaders absorb nonstop venting, next-day negativity rises and so does mistreatment. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Move 2: Tune your caring Two empathies: • Emotional empathy = feel their pain • Empathic concern = help relieve it Keep concern high, distress low. “Caring binds; sharing blinds.” How to tune (in the moment) • 60 seconds of breathing before hard talks • Validate without absorbing: “This is hard and it makes sense.” • Boundaries + presence: “I’m here. Let’s focus on next steps.” • Offer concrete help: “Here’s what we’ll try by Friday.” • Also share joy celebrate wins to refuel the tank Move 3: Treat empathy as a skill It’s trainable. Build emotional balance: shift from absorbing pain → generating care. Try brief compassion meditation (“May you be safe, well, at ease.”) and pre-regulate before tough conversations. Mini audit after tough chats Ask yourself: • How much did I feel with vs. care for? • What do they need long-term? • What will I do to help this week? A simple script 1. Validate: “I can see why this stings.” 2. Future: “Success looks like X.” 3. Action: “Let’s do Y by [date]; I’ll support with Z.” Team rituals that sustain you • Start meetings with “What help do you need?” • Normalize asking for support • Micro-celebrate progress weekly • Protect recovery blocks on calendars Self-compassion + tuned concern + practice = sustainable empathy. What’s one habit you’ll try this week to protect your energy and support your team?

Conflict is inevitable. How we manage it is both an art and a science. In my work with executives, I often discuss Thomas Kilmann's five types of conflict managers: (1) The Competitor – Focuses on winning, sometimes forgetting there’s another human on the other side. (2) The Avoider – Pretends conflict doesn’t exist, hoping it disappears (spoiler: it doesn’t). (3) The Compromiser – Splits the difference, often leaving both sides feeling like nobody really wins. (4) The Accommodator – Prioritizes relationships over their own needs, sometimes at their own expense. (5) The Collaborator – Works hard to find a win-win, but it takes effort. The style we use during conflict depends on how we manage the tension between empathy and assertiveness. (a) Assertiveness: The ability to express your needs, boundaries, and interests clearly and confidently. It’s standing your ground—without steamrolling others. Competitors do this naturally, sometimes too much. Avoiders and accommodators? Not so much. (b) Empathy: The ability to recognize and consider the other person’s perspective, emotions, and needs. It’s stepping into their shoes before taking a step forward. Accommodators thrive here, sometimes at their own expense. Competitors? They might need a reminder that the other side has feelings too. Balancing both is the key to successful negotiation. Here’s how: - Know your default mode. Are you more likely to fight, flee, or fold? Self-awareness is step one. - Swap 'but' for 'and' – “I hear your concerns, and I’d like to explore a solution that works for both of us.” This keeps both voices in the conversation. - Be clear, not combative. Assertiveness isn’t aggression; it’s clarity. Replace “You’re wrong” with “I see it differently—here’s why.” - Make space for emotions. Negotiations aren’t just about logic. Acknowledge emotions (yours and theirs) so they don’t hijack the conversation. - Negotiate the process, not just the outcome. If you’re dealing with a competitor, set ground rules upfront. If it’s an avoider, create a low-stakes way to engage. Great negotiators don’t just stick to their natural style—they adapt. Which conflict style do you tend to default to? And how do you balance empathy with assertiveness? #ConflictResolution #Negotiation #Leadership #Empathy #Assertiveness #Leadership #DecisionMaking

Paralanguage refers to the non-verbal elements of communication used to convey emotion and modify meaning. These elements include aspects of the voice such as pitch, tone, volume, speed, and intonation, as well as other vocal qualities like laughter, sighs, and pauses. Paralanguage provides context and emotional nuance to the spoken words, influencing how the message is perceived by others. Key Components of Paralanguage: Pitch: The highness or lowness of the speaker's voice. Tone: The quality or character of the voice. Volume: The loudness or softness of the speaker's voice. Rate: The speed at which someone speaks. Intonation: The variation in pitch while speaking, which can indicate questions, statements, emotions, etc. Pauses: Moments of silence that can add emphasis or indicate hesitation. Voice Quality: Attributes like nasality, breathiness, or tenseness. Non-verbal Sounds: Laughter, sighs, grunts, etc., that convey emotion or reaction. Functions of Paralanguage: Emotional Expression: Conveying feelings such as happiness, anger, or sadness. Emphasis: Highlighting important points or words in a message. Regulation: Helping manage the flow of conversation, indicating when someone has finished speaking or when someone else can start. Feedback: Providing cues about understanding, agreement, or disagreement. Context: Giving additional context to the spoken words, which can alter the meaning. For example, saying "I'm fine" with a flat tone might indicate indifference, while saying the same words with a bright, cheerful tone conveys genuine positivity. Understanding and effectively using paralanguage can significantly enhance communication by adding clarity and emotional depth to verbal messages. #communicationskills Dr.Shivani Sharma

How logic killed my first negotiation (and what I learned). I blew it. My first negotiation was a complete disaster. I walked in armed with every stat, every fact, and every logical argument I could find. I had spreadsheets, data points, and bulletproof reasoning. I thought I was ready. Turned out, I wasn’t. Here’s what happened: I was so focused on proving I was “right” that I completely ignored the other side’s emotions. - I brushed aside their emotional cues - I didn’t notice the frustration in their tone. - I missed the discomfort in their body language. And I just kept hammering them with logic. So, what happened? I didn’t just lose the deal. I lost their trust. That was the first and last time I ever let logic take the wheel. Here’s what I learned (the hard way): Negotiation isn’t just about facts. It’s about people. And people are emotional. If you rely only on logic, you’ll: - Miss the real signals: Emotions tell you what data can’t. - Lose trust: People connect with empathy, not numbers. - Hurt relationships: Negotiations are long-term games, not one-off wins. The best negotiators know how to balance logic with emotional intelligence. So, don't make the mistake I made and do this every time you're negotiating: 1. Show empathy: Acknowledge their feelings, even if you disagree. 2. Listen to emotions: What’s not being said matters just as much as what is. 3. Regulate your emotions: Stay calm and in control when things heat up. Now, every time I negotiate, I prepare for the emotional game. Not just the logical one. The result? - Better deals. - Stronger partnerships. - And trust that lasts beyond the handshake. Let’s talk about how you can master both sides of negotiation: logic and emotion. Just send me a DM. ----------------------------------- Hi, I’m Scott Harrison and I help executive and leaders master negotiation & communication in high-pressure, high-stakes situations.  - ICF Coach and EQ-i Practitioner - 24 yrs | 19 countries | 150+ clients   - Negotiation | Conflict resolution | Closing deals 📩 DM me or book a discovery call (link in the Featured section)

When You Say Nothing at All Many board meetings ago, after a long discussion on a controversial topic, our most senior director turned to me because he couldn’t remember the quote that meant silence was better. I knew he was looking for one of those old Confucian type sayings, but instead I chose Ronan Keating’s song from the movie “Notting Hill.” He smiled when I quickly replied, “When you say nothing at all.” Silence can be powerful in appropriate occasions. “Pregnant pauses” while looking at the crowd can punctuate key emotional or declarative statements. It gives the crowd time to think, to absorb, to feel. A short silence after hearing a disagreeable comment allows you to process and understand the other party’s point of view. He or she realizes that you probably aren’t enthusiastic, but are civil. I remember having a staring contest during a meeting after a visitor spoke, as I was unwilling to engage on the topic just raised. It must have lasted five minutes. You use the time to choose your words, unless you prefer not to speak. Not immediately responding may also give a signal that it requires more thinking, or is probably not readily acceptable. There are, of course, situations where silence is inappropriate. That topic is for another day. Otherwise, when the context calls for diplomacy, best to remember that you cannot take back a spoken word. Best to be firm but polite, to disagree but not be disagreeable.

If you’re a leader, you’ll be judged not by how you handle the easy conversations - but by how you deal with the difficult ones. My very first act as a manager, aged 23, was to sit down with a man in his fifties and tell him his role was no longer needed. He was respected and experienced. A really decent person. But his skills no longer matched the business. The conversation should’ve happened much sooner - but none of my predecessors had the courage. Here’s what I’ve learned about difficult conversations since then: 1. Prepare more than you think you need to. Clarity, language, timing. It all matters, particularly the first few sentences. 2. Approach with humility. You don’t have all the answers, and you’re not the hero of this story. 3. See it through their eyes. Compassion starts with understanding what this moment means for them. 4. Stay steady. Don’t rush. Make space for the silence and the emotion. 5. Remember the importance of their dignity. However tough the news, they should leave with their self-respect intact. And if you’re on the receiving end of a difficult conversation? Try to separate the message from your identity. It’s happened to me before and it’ll happen again. It’s painful, but it’s not the sum of who you are. The hardest conversations are the ones you never forget. But handled with care, they’re also the ones that build your character as a leader. #CareerMoment LinkedIn News UK

Communication is tricky—our words pass through layers of emotions, tone, and assumptions before reaching other people's ears. What we say in our heads often comes out differently in conversation....causing havoc! The slightest misstep in tone or choice of words can completely change the meaning of what we’re trying to say. And this can trigger a negative response in the people around us. This is a BIG problem when it comes to organizations and teamwork. According to Gallup and other studies, miscommunication is a huge source of conflict and inefficiency. However, companies don't have to put up with this problem....not if they invest in developing emotional intelligence (EQ) skills. EQ prevents miscommunication-induced conflict in many ways- as speakers and listeners. First, it helps us recognize and manage our own emotions, allowing us to stay calm and composed even in challenging conversations, which reduces the likelihood of reactive, unclear communication. Second, it enhances our ability to empathize with others, enabling us to better understand their perspectives and respond in ways that are more likely to be received positively. One of the things I've noticed in my EQ coaching sessions is that people's communication skills improve when they realize that effective communication is not just about clarity; it's also about empathy. It's about understanding that your message lives in the mind of the listener, and that your job is to make sure it arrives there intact, not distorted by misinterpretation or confusion. Some tips I give my clients: 👉 Next time you are speaking with someone, ask yourself if you are sure that what you said is what was heard? 👉 Take a step back and reflect on how others might be perceiving your words. 👉 Then, decide if you need to clarify, check-in or adapt your approach. This shift in perspective—from thinking about what you're saying to thinking about how it's being received—can transform your interactions and help you build stronger, more meaningful connections 🚀 Image source: https://lnkd.in/e7H6MEfR #communciationskills #communication #emotionalintelligence #miscommunication #learninganddevelopment

Freelancers, if you want to close more deals — your words aren’t enough. It’s not just what you say on a sales call… it’s what your body does. Your brain is 12.5x more likely to believe gestures over words, and 82% of first impressions are formed based on warmth and competence. In my coaching sessions, I often say: Your energy sells before your service does. Here are 7 powerful non-verbal cues you can start using today: 🔹 The Steeple Gesture — Touch fingertips lightly in a triangle shape. This projects calm authority and shows you know your stuff. 🔹 Downward Inflection — End your sentences with certainty, not like you’re seeking approval. This boosts trust in your value and pricing. 🔹 Authentic Smile — Let it reach your eyes. People buy from people they like. 🔹 Head Tilt — A subtle tilt while listening shows empathy and emotional intelligence. It humanizes you instantly. 🔹 Open Hands — Show your palms. Use gestures to emphasize key points. This builds subconscious trust. 🔹 Lower Lid Flex — Slight narrowing of the eyes while listening shows focus and seriousness. 🔹 Relaxed Posture — Keep your shoulders down and back. It signals ease, confidence, and presence. These are small tweaks — but they make a big difference. Clients often don’t remember every word you say, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel. If you’re a freelancer who wants to show up more powerfully in sales calls, I’d love to coach you on both strategy and presence. DM me “COACHING” — and let’s work on the way you lead the room. #FreelancerTips #SalesCalls

Conflict in teams isn’t the problem. The real issue? How it’s handled. When emotions run high, our instinct is often to argue, defend, or shut down. But there’s a far more effective approach—one used by FBI negotiators to de-escalate high-stakes situations. 💡 Try the ‘Looping Technique.’ Instead of reacting, reflect back what the other person is expressing before you respond. Example: A team member says: 🗣️ “No one ever listens to my ideas in meetings.” Instead of dismissing or debating, you may say: 🗣️ “So you feel like your input isn’t valued?” This simple shift reduces defensiveness and makes people feel heard. It also creates space for real problem-solving and psychological safety, followed by higher engagement and productivity. 🔎 In my work with high-performing teams, I see this technique transform tense moments into breakthroughs. It leads to stronger collaboration, not deeper divides. P.S.: What other tips do you use to handle conflict in a team? Drop your thoughts in the comments!  --------------------------------- Hi, I’m Susanna. I help leaders and organizations build high-performing teams through psychological safety and inclusive leadership. 🚀 Visit my website to book a free discovery call!