Approaches To Public Speaking Anxiety

Do you ever find yourself more stressed when thinking about an event than the event itself? That’s ‘anticipatory anxiety.’ It’s like your brain is stuck in a “what if” loop. Most of my clients describe this exact feeling before big presentations, tough conversations or even social events. I’ve been there myself… I used to spend days imagining everything that could go wrong, which only made me feel more overwhelmed and unprepared. Turns out, the usual advice of “Just think positive” doesn’t help at all. Research shows that focusing ONLY on perfect outcomes can actually drain your energy, and make you less likely to achieve it. When your brain skips over the challenges, you’re left less prepared and even more anxious if things don’t go as planned (again, I’ve been there!). What finally worked for me (and our clients) was flipping the script. Acknowledge the worst-case scenario and plan your response: – What’s the backup if the tech fails? – How will you recover if the conversation takes a turn? – What will you do if you forget your script? You’re not necessarily expecting the worst, but being ready for it. The result is a calmer, more confident mindset going into it, and that makes all the difference. P.S. Has someone ever told you to “just visualise success?” How did that work out for you?

When I started sharing my speaking journey publicly, everything changed. The traditional business advice says "fake it till you make it." But after working with hundreds of entrepreneurs, I've learned something counterintuitive: your biggest breakthrough comes from being transparently vulnerable about your struggles. I was on a call with a successful founder last week. When I asked if he'd spoken at conferences, he froze. "I can't even handle team meetings without sweating." When I shared my own speaking disaster story, forgetting my entire opening at a 500-person conference, something beautiful happened. He realized everyone wanted him to succeed, not fail. Here's what I learned about building in public through transparent speaking: 1. Vulnerability Broadcasting  Share your panic attacks, forgotten openings, and sweaty moments openly. Building your confidence journey in public permits others to be human. Your struggles become someone else's breakthrough story. Speaking fears are universal, your transparency breaks the shame cycle. Others see that success isn't about perfection, it's about persistence. 2. Story Stack Development  Document your 5 go-to stories for any situation and share them. Building your narrative library in public creates accountability for authenticity. Your stories become templates for other entrepreneurs to adapt. Transparency about your frameworks helps others structure their own experiences. 3. Confidence Protocol Sharing  Show your exact pre-speech routine and why it works. Building your confidence systems in public creates replicable frameworks. Your meditation, breathing, and preparation become roadmaps for others. 4. Authority Multiplier Transparency Document how one speech creates 50+ opportunities. Building your authority systems in public shows the compound effect. Your podcast invitations and connection requests become proof of concept. Transparency about speaking ROI motivates others to overcome their fears. 5. Failure Reframe Strategy Share how disasters become your best teaching moments. Building your resilience story in public transforms setbacks into comebacks. Your 15 seconds of silence become someone else's courage catalyst. Transparency about recovery shows that perfection isn't the goal. Others learn that audiences want value, not flawless delivery. This isn't just about becoming a better speaker, it's about creating beautiful, systemized, and impactful ways to share your expertise with the world. When you build your speaking journey in public, you're not just overcoming fears. You're showing other entrepreneurs that their voice matters and their message deserves to be heard. __ Enjoy this? ♻️ Repost it to your network and follow Matt Gray for more. Curious how this could look inside your business? DM me ‘System’ and I’ll walk you through how we help clients make it happen. This is for high-commitment founders only.

Are you frequently overwhelmed by worries, even about minor things? This could be a sign of anxiety. While anxiety is a common feeling involving unease, worry, or fear - particularly during periods of uncertainty, change, or high-stress situations - if not addressed, it can evolve to be pervasive. Anxiety can make it difficult to focus on our work and impact productivity and well-being. According to a study by Champion Health in the UK, 60% of employees experience some form of anxiety. This statistic is concerning, but what's more troubling is that many people suffer in silence, unaware or unwilling to acknowledge their struggles. Throughout my journey, I've encountered numerous moments where, in retrospect, anxiety was a silent battle for me. Externally, I appeared successful, but I was wrestling with persistent worries and self-doubt internally. Thankfully, with professional help and a supportive personal network, I've learned to manage these challenges better. My experiences have underscored the need to openly discuss anxiety and educate ourselves on coping mechanisms and support options. To get some practical insights and tips on this topic, I reached out to my friend Dana Berri. Dana is a licensed psychologist with expertise in applying Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) techniques. Here are 3 invaluable tips she shared on managing anxiety: 1. Befriend your anxiety and allow it to be: Contrary to the common advice we often hear telling us ‘not to worry’, a positive approach for managing anxiety involves intentionally allowing ourselves to explore these worries and letting the worry run its course. Ask yourself: ↳What am I thinking about right now? ↳On a scale of 1-10, how stressful do I feel? ↳Explore the worst-case and best-case scenarios and their probability. 2. Reframe your thoughts: Once you have identified these negative thoughts, try transforming them into more positive or constructive ones. E.g. ‘I will never be good at this’ to ‘This may be challenging now, but with practice, I can improve my skills over time.’ 3. Lean on problem-solving: Apply a problem-solving approach once you've identified and reframed negative thoughts. 1. Identify the Concern: ‘What's the specific concern that's causing anxiety?’ 2. Ask the Right Questions and focus on what’s helpful rather than what is right or wrong: Instead of dwelling on the worst-case scenario, redirect your focus. E.g. ‘What aspects of this situation are within my control?, is this thought helping me get what I want?’ 3. Set Realistic Goals: E.g. If you're anxious about an upcoming presentation, dedicate specific time to preparation. 4. Consider the Variables: Determine which variables you can influence and take action. E.g. You can’t control your manager’s mood, but you can plan to leave home early to avoid peak traffic. PS: Approach your feelings with kindness and curiosity. Image Credit: 6seconds.org

Can a CEO afford to be vulnerable? On Feb 17th, when I travelled to Indianapolis, immersed in the All-Star Weekend, I was once again struck by the spirit of the Game — its culture, its people, and the myriad of inspiring stories it tells. Apart from the amazing competitions, two moments profoundly moved me.   ◾️ At the NBA Newsmaker breakfast, a roundtable on mental health peeled back layers on a topic crucial in elite sports, especially spotlighted post-COVID crisis. The shared struggles of remarkable athletes and personalities resonated on a universal level, a humbling reminder of our shared humanity. A'ja Wilson said: "Adversity is like fertilizer for greatness". While my challenges may not mirror those of such an incredible black female athlete, Olympic gold medalist and a two-time WNBA MVP, her vision resonates deeply with me. Every challenge presents an opportunity; every crisis, a moment to shift perspectives. I do believe that "to grow through we need to go through". With courage and determination, and, yes, vulnerability.   ◾️ The second highlight was Jalen Rose's speech at the NBA Legends Brunch. The former NCAA and NBA star, who played for the Indiana Pacers, was receiving an award for his work with underprivileged communities. Among thousands of attendees, I was captivated by the raw power of vulnerability in his words. Jalen opened up, expressing his emotions authentically without trying to hide or diminish them. The public became instantly empathetic - a powerful reminder of how true vulnerability fosters deeper emotional connections.   It's a rare sight, particularly in professional settings, to witness such openness, challenging the often-worn masks of stoicism. This experience has led me to ponder the role of vulnerability within our organizations. It seems that facing adversity with courage, determination and vulnerability is not just brave but also transformative. It has a power to unite. It's not just about weathering the storm, it's about emerging stronger, together. 🖋️I'd love to read your thoughts — Can a CEO afford to be vulnerable?   #NBAAllStar #Hennessy #MoetHennessy #LVMH National Basketball Association (NBA)

From being a stammerer filled with stage fright to delivering 100+ speeches in 4 years! Here are 10 things I did to train myself to be the best at it: 🎤 Practice Small Chunks: Break your speech into smaller sections and practice each part separately before combining them. This makes it easier to remember and reduces anxiety. 🎤 Record and Review: Record your practice sessions using your phone or a camera. Reviewing these recordings helps identify areas for improvement and track progress over time. 🎤 Gradual Exposure: Start by speaking in front of a mirror, then progress to speaking in front of a small group of friends or family, and gradually increase the audience size. This helps build confidence step-by-step. 🎤 Use Flashcards: Write key points or parts of your speech on flashcards. This helps you stay on track during your speech and reduces the fear of forgetting your lines. 🎤 Join Speaking Clubs: Participate in public speaking clubs like Toastmasters. Regular practice in a supportive environment helps you gain confidence and receive constructive feedback. 🎤 Practice with Distractions: Train yourself to stay focused by practicing your speech in environments with potential distractions, such as a noisy room or with background music playing. 🎤 Mirror Neurons: Watch videos of great speakers and try to mimic their body language and speaking style. This activates your mirror neurons, helping you learn by imitation. 🎤 Mindful Breathing: Before speaking, take deep breaths in for a count of four, hold for four, and exhale for four. This helps calm your nerves and centre your mind. 🎤 Positive Visualization: Spend a few minutes each day visualizing yourself giving a successful speech. Picture the audience applauding and yourself speaking confidently. This mental rehearsal can boost your confidence. 🎤 Use Technology: Utilize speech practice apps that provide real-time feedback on your speaking speed, volume, and clarity. This helps you adjust and improve your delivery. When I learned these lessons, I realized that public speaking wasn't something to fear but something to celebrate. To be able to reach more people and create a long-lasting impact! So, if you're struggling like I was, start training your brain. It's not easy, but it's worth it. ❤️ #publicspeaking #growth #communication #softskills

3 Psychological Techniques to Manage Competition Anxiety As someone who has experienced the highs and lows of competitive platforms, both as a contestant and now as the founder of Marvelous Mrs. India, I understand how anxiety can creep in, even for the most confident individuals. Over the years, my journey as a psychologist has allowed me to develop techniques that help manage that overwhelming feeling of pressure. Here are three psychological strategies I often recommend: 1️⃣ Mindful Breathing: Focusing on your breath brings your attention to the present moment. It’s a quick reset button to calm your nerves before stepping on stage or into any competitive space. 2️⃣ Positive Visualization: Picture yourself succeeding. Visualizing a positive outcome helps to shift your focus from what might go wrong to what could go right. This has helped me tremendously in preparing for any competition or major event. 3️⃣ Cognitive Restructuring: Challenge negative thoughts! When those "what if I fail?" thoughts surface, I ask myself, "Is this thought helpful?" This simple reflection helps in breaking the cycle of self-doubt. “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” — William James Let’s arm ourselves with the right thoughts and embrace competition with calm and confidence. Shall we? #mentalhealth #psychology #beautyindustry #wellness #confidence #thoughts #motivation

Ever felt your mind go completely blank right when it mattered the most? You’ve prepared, practiced, and yet—under pressure—you freeze. During a recent training session, a participant vulnerably shared: “In high-stakes moments—tight deadlines, crisis meetings—I just go numb. I forget what I had to say or do. And every failed attempt makes the next one harder.” Sounds familiar? Staying calm under pressure is not a natural skill—it’s a learned one. Here are 6 quick strategies I shared that can help break this cycle: ✅ Breathe before you act – Slow, deep breaths signal your brain to stay calm. ✅ Anchor yourself – A small gesture (like touching your thumb and index finger) can become a calming ritual. ✅ Practice with distractions – Train yourself in noisy or time-bound situations to build real-time focus. ✅ Reframe the situation – Instead of "I have to deliver", say "I get to express myself". ✅ Visualize success – Picture yourself handling the situation calmly and confidently. ✅ Be mindful, not mind full – Just being present in the moment can help cut out panic and past baggage. Remember: the goal is not to avoid pressure, but to build your muscle to stay composed within it. What helps you stay grounded when pressure peaks? #EmotionalResilience #CalmUnderPressure #CorporateTraining

If you ever get anxious before a BIG meeting or presentation, try this technique Navy SEALs use to stay calm under pressure: You’ve probably heard someone tell you: “Just take a deep breath.” It's well-intentioned advice, but only half the answer. When you’re nervous, shallow or erratic breathing can make anxiety worse. What you need is a controlled, proven method to signal safety to your brain. It’s called Box Breathing, and here’s how it works: Picture a box with 4 equal sides Each side = 4 seconds • Breathe in for 4 seconds • Hold for 4 seconds • Breathe out for 4 seconds • Hold again for 4 seconds Repeat for 4 rounds On top of that: While you're doing it, think calming thoughts. Instead of just focusing on the breath, pair it with soothing reminders: • “This will pass.” • “I’ve handled harder things before.” • “I’m safe. I’m prepared. I’ve got this.” When your body and brain both get the message that you're safe, the technique works even faster I use this before speaking on stage, recording videos, or anytime I need to calm my nerves.

Anxiety is informative. It’s not just a feeling to push away, it’s a signal. One that alerts us to the need for change: a problem to solve, a boundary to set, or a path to reconsider. When we ignore it, we miss the chance to grow stronger, wiser, and more aligned. But when we listen with intention, anxiety can become a powerful guide toward clarity and resilience. Three ways to work with anxiety instead of against it: 1. Pause and name it. Label the feeling. “I’m feeling anxious because…” Naming it reduces its power and creates space for reflection. 2. Ask what it’s trying to tell you. Is something out of alignment? Is a need going unmet? Anxiety often points to a deeper truth. 3. Channel it into action. Even a small, purposeful step, like setting a boundary, having a hard conversation, or adjusting your schedule, can transform anxious energy into empowerment. Feel it. Learn from it. Then let it move you forward.