Tips for Managing Workplace Disappointments

I've recently suffered a major career setback. Since I teach about high performance and career growth, I want to share how I am addressing it. One day you will need this recipe yourself! My goal in my current "career" is to reach as many people as I can, and to help them achieve career success and satisfaction. For the last three years, the way to do this has been through LinkedIn. Unfortunately, LinkedIn recently made some unknown changes to their algorithm. Other Top Voices and I have noticed a drop of 70% to 80% in the reach of our posts. Since my goal is to share my knowledge with more people, that means my goal just took an 80% hit. In general, setbacks in performance are either due to: A) Something we did Or B) Something external, outside our direct control Mistakes, poor decisions, and missed deadlines are examples of A. They are in our control. Things like Covid, high interest rates, and reorganizations at work are examples of B, outside our control. LinkedIn's change is also case B, outside my control. When a setback comes from something in your control, you know clearly what you did wrong and what you need to change to restore your performance and progress. Fixing your own issues may take time and be difficult, but you know what to do. When the setback is due to something outside your control, you do not know how to fix the issue. So, how can we react when our performance is shattered and we do not know why? Here is my recipe: 1. Allow yourself a fixed amount of time to grieve (and complain if you wish). Emotions are real, and before you can move on you will need to sit with those emotions. But, do not get stuck in them. Curse your bad luck, pout for a minute, etc. Then, move to the next step. 2. Refocus on your core value. Whatever happened, go back to how you define high performance to ensure it is still relevant. I admit, I slipped into defining my own performance by how many people viewed my LinkedIn posts. This was a mistake. My mission is to help others, so getting views is a proxy, not a result. And, using LinkedIn is just a method for the mission, not the mission itself. 3. Adapt your core value if you must (if its value has decreased). In my case, the value of what I offer hasn't changed, the external delivery system has. 4. Once you adapt and/or increase your value, find new ways to deliver it if necessary. Luckily, I have other options for reaching people: my Substack newsletter, YouTube, etc. Since Substack has been such a good partner recently, I will start there. I have also refocused how I write on LinkedIn to make every post focused on my goal. 5. Test, measure, adapt, repeat! Really, this step is everything. Once you get past the grief, jump into action in this loop. Nothing can stop you if you keep working to refine, deliver, and showcase your core value. Comments? Here's my newsletter, which is my next area of investment: https://lnkd.in/gXh2pdK2

Ever felt ashamed for reacting emotionally at work? Here’s what I wish I knew 20 years ago. When I was 18, I lost someone I admired at work. It was sudden, It reminded me of losing my dad at 11. I had no idea what to do with my emotions. No one coached me. No one said, "Pause first." So I just... reacted. Years later, in leadership roles, I still wasn’t ready. Now, I understand what Warren Buffett meant: “You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you.” Restraint isn’t cold. It’s how you protect your power. 9 ways I’ve learned to channel emotion, not shut it down: 1) Put energy into action → Don’t waste passion defending. → Ask: “How can I use this to move forward?” 2) Turn criticism into fuel → Don’t let feedback drain you. → Use it to show what you can do. 3) Save your fire for what matters → Don’t fight every battle. → Save your strength for what counts. 4) Turn frustration into planning → Don’t let setbacks stop you. → Ask: “What would I do differently next time?” 5) Pour into people who pour back → Don’t chase those who don’t show up. → Focus on the ones who help you grow. 6) Turn pushback into learning → Don’t take resistance personally. → Ask: “What am I missing that they see?” 7) Choose impact over ego → Don’t aim to be right. → Aim to be effective. 8) Study calm leaders under stress → Don’t copy the loudest voice. → Notice who really leads the room. 9) Create space before you respond → Don’t hit send on the first draft. → Say: “Let me think and get back to you.” This isn’t about stuffing emotions down. It’s about knowing when they help And when they hurt. 🧠 What’s one reaction you’d take back if you could? Or one moment where restraint made all the difference? 👇 Share your story in the comments. ____________________________ ♻ Repost to share this with someone navigating the same line. 👉 Follow Stephanie Eidelman (Meisel) for more on leadership presence.

I never encourage people to stay where they are being harmed. So if you can leave, make that move! However, if you can't immediately do so, or you’re in the hallway waiting for the next door to open, here’s what you can do: 1. Elevate your emotional intelligence even if that of your manager is low. You don't have to lower yours. You can still lead without the title. High emotional intelligence isn’t reserved for people managers. Your actions and attitude can inspire others, regardless of your position. Use your voice. Speak up to be added to projects and do your research on professional development courses or conferences you'd like to participate in.🗣️ 2. Advocating for yourself is crucial in any career. Don't be afraid to express your interest. Researching and being well-prepared shows your commitment and dedication to your growth, which can be appreciated by your superiors…or recruiters. 3. Avoid the gossip. Create your boundaries and maintain them. Office gossip can be tempting, but it rarely leads to anything positive. Dodging the dissing will maintain your integrity and build a reputation as someone who is trustworthy and professional. And when you leave, you can leave with your hands and mind clean. 4. Journal to release and document to defend. Keeping a journal can be a powerful tool for managing stress and documenting your experiences at work. Use it to release your emotions. It can also serve as a record of your accomplishments and interactions, which can be handy when it comes time for performance reviews or addressing workplace issues. 5. Find a therapist if you can—process work issues outside of work. Work-related stress and challenges can take a toll on your mental well-being. Seeking therapy is a proactive step to ensure you have a safe and confidential space to discuss your concerns, manage stress, and develop coping strategies. I tell all my clients to prioritize their well-being over everything. And that they have more power and agency than they know. Be strategic with how you practice self-care around work. Toxic workplaces can really do a number on you. Know your limits. Drop a 💡 if you found these helpful.

We've all been there - those challenging moments that make us question our goals, our dreams, and our ability to succeed. 🤔 But it's precisely during these tough times that our true strength and determination are put to the test. I want to share some insights on how I've managed to push through difficulties and achieve success. 1️⃣ Embrace the Growth Mindset: Instead of viewing setbacks as failures, I choose to see them as opportunities to learn and grow. Adopting a growth mindset has allowed me to see challenges as steppingstones toward improvement, ultimately leading me closer to my goals. 2️⃣ Break It Down: When facing a colossal task, it's easy to get overwhelmed. I combat this by breaking the challenge into smaller, manageable steps. This approach makes it easier to track progress and celebrate victories along the way. 3️⃣ Seek Support: No one can do it all alone, and I've learned the importance of seeking support during difficult times. Whether it's a mentor, a friend, or a professional network, having a support system can provide valuable advice, encouragement, and motivation. 4️⃣ Stay Flexible, Not Fixed: While having a clear vision is essential, it's equally vital to remain flexible in our approach. Life is unpredictable, and being open to adjusting our strategies can lead to unexpected breakthroughs. 5️⃣ Maintain a Positive Mindset: Positivity is a powerful force. During tough times, I try to focus on gratitude and the progress I've made so far. Shifting my mindset from dwelling on the negatives to appreciating the positives gives me the resilience to keep going. 6️⃣ Celebrate Small Wins: It's crucial to acknowledge and celebrate every achievement, no matter how small. These mini-celebrations act as fuel, propelling me forward and boosting my confidence. 7️⃣ Learn from Setbacks: Setbacks are inevitable, but they don't define us. Instead of dwelling on them, I take a step back, analyze what went wrong, and identify the valuable lessons they offer. This enables me to come back even stronger. 8️⃣ Remember Your "Why": Our underlying motivation can serve as a powerful anchor during challenging times. Revisiting our purpose and the reasons why we started this journey reignites our passion and reinforces our commitment to succeed. Remember, success is not a linear path. It's about embracing the ups and downs, persevering through challenges, and staying true to our aspirations. Let's continue supporting each other on this incredible journey of growth and achievement! 👉Which of these 8 resonates with you? ➡️How do you push through during difficult times to achieve success? #SuccessMindset #Perseverance #bestadvice #whatinspiresme #GrowthAndLearning #Challenges #Motivation #bestsweekever

This is a very tough time for myself, and my little family. However. The difficulty isn’t going to get the results I need. So here is a reminder, (for myself & for others) to find the strength when your heart is exhausted. “Turning Negatives into Positives: Regaining Professional & Personal Momentum 💼✨ We all face setbacks in our careers, but it's how we handle them that truly defines our success. Here are the reminders I’ll share, in hopes that we will transform negatives into positives and reignite our momentum: 1. **Acknowledge and Reflect:** Start by acknowledging the negative experiences or setbacks. Take time to reflect on what went wrong and what you've learned from it. This self-awareness is crucial for growth. 2. **Shift Perspective:** Challenge yourself to see the situation from a different angle. Instead of dwelling on the failure, focus on the opportunities that can arise from it. What skills did you develop? What new doors might open? 3. **Set Clear Goals:** Define your desired outcome. Set clear, achievable goals that align with your long-term vision. Breaking them down into smaller, manageable steps will make them less daunting. 4. **Learn and Adapt:** Use the setback as a learning experience. Analyze what you could have done differently and apply those lessons moving forward. Adaptability & coachability is key to professional growth. 5. **Positive Self-Talk:** Train your mind to focus on the positive aspects of your journey. Replace self-doubt with affirmations that reinforce your abilities and potential. 6. **Seek Support:** Reach out to mentors, colleagues, or friends for guidance and encouragement. They can offer fresh perspectives and valuable advice to help you navigate challenges. 7. **Skill Enhancement:** Invest in continuous learning. Acquiring new skills not only boosts your confidence but also makes you a more versatile and valuable asset in your field. 8. **Network and Connect:** Attend industry events, seminars, and workshops to expand your network. Building relationships can lead to unexpected opportunities, friendship and collaborations. 9. **Celebrate Progress:** Acknowledge and celebrate even the smallest victories along the way. Each step forward, no matter how small, contributes to your overall progress.☀️☀️☀️ 10. **Stay Persistent:** Regaining positive momentum takes time. Stay persistent and committed to your goals, even when faced with obstacles. Your determination will eventually pay off.🙏 Remember, setbacks are a natural part of any career journey. Embrace them as opportunities for growth and transformation. 🔥🚀 #CareerGrowth #PositiveMomentum"

We all encounter setbacks and disappointments in our lives, whether in our personal or professional journeys. It's our response to these moments that shapes our character and influences our path to success. I recently faced one of these setbacks. At the last moment, I got sick, and was unable to attend my company's onsite meetup in Chicago. While my situation in *no way* compares to the challenges many have faced in recent years, it was a significant disappointment for me. Despite this, I'd like to share some strategies that have aided me in overcoming these moments, and which I did my best to practice in real time this week! 1️⃣ Acceptance: Acknowledge the disappointment and allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with it. It's okay to be upset or frustrated. It's completely normal- and trying to push past it and force yourself into a positive mindset can have rebound effects. 2️⃣ Growth Mindset: See setbacks as opportunities for growth. Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, focus on what you can learn from the experience. Every setback can be a valuable lesson. 3️⃣ Resilience: Remember that setbacks are a *part* of life, not the end of it. Develop resilience by staying committed to your goals and working your back back towards a positive attitude. 4️⃣ Seek Support: Don't be afraid to reach out to friends, mentors, or colleagues for support and advice. Sometimes, a fresh perspective can provide clarity and new solutions. I have to give a huge shoutout to my GrowthLoop colleagues here- they could not have been more supportive! 5️⃣ Reevaluate Goals: Use setbacks as a chance to reassess your goals and priorities. Are you still on the right path, or is it time to pivot? Set new goals and create a plan to achieve them. 6️⃣ Perseverance: Keep moving forward, even when it feels difficult. Remember that success often comes after overcoming obstacles. Your determination can lead to great achievements. 7️⃣ Self-Care: Take care of your physical and mental well-being. Self-care is essential during challenging times. Exercise, meditation, and spending time with loved ones can help. Remember, setbacks are not the end of your journey; they are merely detours- and so much of what feels huge *now* ends up as a blip on our radar in the long run. 💪 #Resilience #GrowthMindset #SuccessMindset

How to Reboot After Disappointment at Work by Julien Mirivel & Julie Allison in the greater good magazine from University of California, Berkeley: "All of us have experienced disappointment, sadness, and setbacks at work. Whether you are a leader who lost a job or an opportunity, an entrepreneur starting a new business, or simply facing a personal challenge, your ability to respond (and how likely you are to bounce back) is partly shaped by the way you talk with and to yourself. Here are 3 easy-to-use strategies for positive self-talk. 1. Use positive self-affirmations A first strategy is to short-circuit your negative thoughts by using positive self-affirmations. Positive self-affirmations include any phrase that reminds you of who you are as a person and serve as an encouragement to stay resilient in the face of adversity. “I am enough,” “I believe in my dreams,” or “I have the capacity to overcome this moment” are all examples of positive affirmations. 2. Reframe your mindset (and accept reality). As we move past disappointment, it’s not uncommon to explore uncharted territories. This endeavor comes with its own entourage of fear and doubt. In the face of our fears, it can be helpful to look at the situation from a different perspective—to change the meaning we give to what’s happening. 3. Ask big questions Most disappointments are triggered by our failed expectations. We imagine certain results, goals, and plans and clearly expect to meet them. We have expectations about people and situations, too. When those expectations aren’t met, disappointment arises. You can ask meaningful questions like these: What are you dreaming about now? What are your core strengths, and how do you want to use them this time? What do you want out of your career or personal life? What gives you joy? What do you do when you feel at your best? What are some things that you are doing when other people see you at your best? What will you do to respond productively? Right inside the word “question” is the word “quest.” When you begin the process of inquiry, you will begin the quest to respond." Check out the full article using the link below: https://lnkd.in/gEex5Su8

From Setback to Triumph: How to Make a Comeback in 2024 🚀 This post is dedicated to those who encountered career challenges in 2023—be it a disappointing review, a missed promotion, or even a job loss or worse. Despite your hard work and high performance, circumstances didn't go your way. Remember, you are not alone. The tech and housing industries faced significant challenges in 2023, resulting in many casualties. Here are 5 tips for making a strong comeback this year: 1) Don’t Let Setbacks Define You: External factors often play a role beyond your control. For instance, promotions are frequently decided before the review process even begins. Layoffs, resulting from industry changes, have nothing to do with your capabilities. Don’t let external factors cast doubt on your confidence and abilities. 2) Accept the Disappointment: Rather than resisting it, acknowledge the disappointment. Express your emotions and ensure you have a support system of people who will listen and help you process. 3) Focus on What Can Be Learned: Challenging situations offer valuable learning opportunities. Seek direct feedback whenever possible with a growth mindset. Own the situation, extract lessons, and then move forward. 4) Create a New Goal: After a setback, it's crucial to regain motivation. Take control, identify actionable steps, and set new goals. Pouring your energy into a new goal prevents you from dwelling on the loss. 5) Failure Can Be the Catalyst for Success: Failure often triggers positive change. If your company doesn't value you, moving on is likely your best bet. A layoff can be an opportunity to reset priorities and explore something new and better. Careers are seldom a linear progression upwards. One step back to take two steps forward as they say. 🌟 Let's embrace setbacks as opportunities for growth and comebacks in 2024! 🚀 #careercomeback #resilience #growthmindset #careers #personaldevelopment