Preparing for a Raise Conversation with Your Boss

If I had a dollar for every man who has walked into my office and told me with utter conviction that what I was paying him was a crime against humanity and would be considered an act of war in some small countries, I would be a billionaire. I’ve never been approached like this by a female employee. I’m not advocating that women do this since it never works for the men who try, but I’m worried still by how quiet women are when it comes to comp conversations. Avoiding the comp conversation is a terrible strategy; so is approaching it like a war crime tribunal at The Hague. Regardless of your gender, here’s what you do:  🧠 Mindset before method. 🧠   Forget your fears. Ditch the imposter syndrome – even if you can only manage to do that for the length of the conversation. You’re in a market. Claim value. If you’re delivering the goods, there is nothing untoward about having a compensation conversation with your boss. (If your boss recoils from a comp conversation, it might be time to find a new one.) 📊 Show up to the table with facts. 📊 Plainly share the projects you’ve been working on. “Here are my contributions, and here are the outcomes that I’ve achieved.” Rehearse it in front of a mirror until you feel confident and clear. Focus on facts, not feelings. 📍Situate yourself.📍 “Here’s my understanding of the role and where it sits in the market. Here are comps.” 💰Make the ask.💰   “I’m looking to be considered for xyz in compensation which I believe is more commensurate with my contributions.” 👎If it’s a no, find out what you need to do to get to a yes. 👍 Look, the answer might be “no” for all sorts of reasons (including the possibility that you have a meaningful amount of equity you’re not ascribing enough value to) – but you can’t walk out of the room (or the Zoom) without a clear understanding of A. Why the answer is no, and B. What you need to accomplish in your role to get to a “yes.” Ask for specifics.

I've helped two mid-career professionals each get raises of $300,000 to $500,000 from "frugal" Amazon. It turns out that 70% of people who ask for a raise get something, but also that most people never ask. Here is how to ask for and get your raise. One individual was a senior manager (L7) and had an external offer from Meta. The other was also L7, but was a Principal Engineer. He did not have an offer, but he was ready to start looking (no bluffing) if he couldn't get paid what he was worth on the market. "On the market" is the key. To get giant raises, you have to have the data to know what you are worth. Luckily, there are a couple of ways to get it. The first is Salary.com, which has enough data points for larger companies to figure this out. The second is to talk to peers in that position. If you talk to several people and tell them what *you* make, most of them are at least willing to say either "gosh, that's great" (which means you make more than they do) or "ohh, I think you can do better" (which means they make more). You also need to be a strong performer, ideally regarded as a star. Companies are willing to go out of their way to keep their stars. As a VP, I was either directly asked for raises or brought in to approve / deny raise requests all the time. Here is what a manager thinks when you ask for a raise: 1) "Oh damn. I have to deal with this and it will be a pain." Either the manager has to tell you no (awkward and you might quit) or the manager has to fill out forms and bring them to me and to human resources for approval (a pain). 2) "Is this person worth the pain? Do I prefer they just leave or do I need to keep them? Am I willing to fight for them?" You need the answer to this to be they feel you will be a big loss and they want to fight for you. 3) "Alright, let me think about what kind of case I can make for them..." Managers will try to feel out if you just are just greedy and hoping for a raise or if you really are upset enough to leave. You need to give them a plausible reason that doesn't feel like you are greedy or "just in it for the money." "Manager, I love working for you and Acme, inc. on our projects, but I've learned that my market rate is $$$ and I'm starting to feel really foolish for not being paid my value. As you know I have {college debt, three kids who need to go to college, elderly parents to care for... whatever} and I really need to do the right thing for my family." This formulation indicates that you like the manager and want to stay, conveying that "we're on the same team, not against each other - I'm not demanding a raise, I'm asking for your help to be treated fairly." Everyone can empathize with feeling foolish and wanting to avoid that. And no one will tell you that you shouldn't take care of your family. I'm at the character limit for a LinkedIn post. More in my fist comment. I also built a course with all the deep details: https://buff.ly/3SICtnK

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝘀𝗸 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝘆. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝘂𝗱𝗲. 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁. I’ve coached many smart professionals. They worked hard but still felt underpaid. Not because they lacked skills. But because they didn’t know how to ask. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝘁 𝘀𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗱, 𝗮𝘄𝗸𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱, 𝗼𝗿 𝘂𝗻𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲. Some stayed silent and regretted later. Others spoke too fast and lost respect. 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝗜 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗱𝗲. It helps you ask — with confidence. 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝟱 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗳𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸: 🔹 𝟭. 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗸𝗲𝘁 𝗩𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲 • Don’t guess your worth. • Look up what others earn. • Use sites like Glassdoor or Levels.fyi. • Ask people in the same field. • Know your role, your skills, your price. 📌 When you know the real range, you stop asking for too little. 🔹 𝟮. 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 • Don’t ask about money too early. • Wait until they offer you the job. • Once they like you — you have power. • Now, it’s your turn to ask well. 📌 Asking too soon weakens your position. Let them want you first. 🔹 𝟯. 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗥𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲, 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 • Don’t say one fixed number. • Say a salary range instead. • Start from the higher side. 𝗦𝗮𝘆 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲: “Based on my research, $150K–$195K seems fair.” 📌 A range shows confidence and research. It opens room to talk, not fight. 🔹 𝟰. 𝗛𝗶𝗴𝗵𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗨𝗻𝗶𝗾𝘂𝗲 𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗰𝘁 Don’t just say “I worked hard.” 𝗦𝗮𝘆 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝘄𝗶𝗻. Did you save time or money? Did you help grow revenue? 📌 𝗚𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝘅𝗮𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲, 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲: “My last project saved $215K.” That turns your ask into a business case. 🔹 𝟱. 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗧𝗼𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗣𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗮𝗴𝗲 • Salary is not the only thing. • Also ask about bonus, perks, growth. • Maybe the base pay is fixed, • but you can get better rewards elsewhere. 📌 𝗦𝗮𝘆: “Can we talk about bonus or raise plans?” This shows you’re thinking long-term. 🔹 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗺𝘆 𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘁: • They check what others earn first. • They wait until they get the offer. • They give a range, not one number. • They talk about their value clearly. • They ask about bonus and growth too. 𝗦𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀. 𝗖𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸. 𝗕𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝘆. 📌 You’ll find all this in my infographic below. ✅ Easy to follow. ✅ Real sentences you can use. ✅ A full example at the end. 𝗪𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗦𝗮𝗹𝗮𝗿𝘆 𝗦𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁 + 𝗖𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁? Comment “𝗦𝗔𝗟𝗔𝗥𝗬 𝗧𝗢𝗢𝗟𝗞𝗜𝗧” and I’ll DM it. • You can ask. • You can stay respectful. • And you can get paid better. 𝗟𝗲𝘁 𝗺𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝗶𝘁 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁. 👉 𝗗𝗠 me if you want 1-on-1 help.   #peakimpactmentorship #growth #leadership #dnaofinfluence #success