Causes of quiet struggle in career women

When women’s careers begin peaking, often, so do their health issues.  The impact is often hidden.  And the physical & mental toll is enormous. Many women endure an unspeakable amount of physical pain & suffering that flies under the radar because of shame, taboos, & their desire to not risk their professional reputations. That was me.  As a first gen college student & lawyer who put myself through school, BigLaw attorney (x2), & Meta executive, I always hid how much I was suffering for fear of hurting my career. I had multiple massive non-cancerous tumors called fibroids, one the size of a grapefruit. I also had endometriosis, where tissue grows outside the uterus and causes severe abdominal pain, that took 20+ years to diagnose.  These conditions resulted in me having countless doctor visits, highly invasive & painful tests, frequent trips to the ER, & multiple major surgeries, including a hysterectomy.  The only professional “leave” I received other than standard PTO was for painful surgeries. No time to mourn the loss of fertility. I am FAR from alone.  Whenever I share my journey, it never ceases to amaze me the sheer number of women going through something similar or far worse.  And they are suffering alone or feel they cannot voice their suffering.  Regardless of whether a woman has kids or not, her body often goes through countless acute & chronic physical challenges that she has to overcome because of the unique physiology of women’s bodies (e.g., fertility issues, PCOS, perimenopause, thyroid issues, miscarriages, ovarian cysts, pregnancy, hormonal imbalances, pregnancy complications, menopause, breast cancer, cervical cancer - the list goes on…). Similar to the workplace, in the medical system women often are subject to a world that fails to see or address their unique needs.  I had numerous dismissive & ill-equipped doctors.  Lesson?  Never ever hesitate to advocate for yourself & never substitute someone’s judgment for your own. I share this to stand in solidarity with all women who already have Everest to climb as they seek to overcome significant bias in the workplace AND they are doing it enduring this unseen physical and mental suffering.  I see you.  You are not alone.  You.  Are.  Warriors.  You go through all of this AND you hammer on the glass ceiling every damn day.  I also want to thank the friends, family and colleagues – men, women and ALL people – who support women in these challenges. If we ever want to stop losing outstanding women from the workplace & executive ranks, this is one piece of the puzzle we need to raise awareness about & solve.  We need to destigmatize the problem.  The time is now for all of us to partner with women both in the medical system & the workplace to invest in, fund, study, & prioritize women’s health.  Women? Imagine all we could do if we didn't carry this on our shoulders? #StilliRise #womeninbusiness #wellness #femaleleadership #solidarity

There’s a sneaky trap high-achieving women fall into, and no one talks about it enough. It’s not that we don’t know we’re overextending ourselves. It’s not that we don’t see the double standards. And it’s definitely not that we lack ambition. It’s that we’ve been 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘥 to avoid making a scene about it. We don’t want to sound like we’re complaining. We don’t want to be labeled “ungrateful” for the success we 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦. We don’t want to risk being called difficult, emotional, aggressive, or god forbid — high maintenance. So what do we do instead? We 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳-𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦. We work twice as hard to make it look easy. We stay quiet about the ways the system isn’t built for us. And when burnout inevitably hits, we internalize it like it’s our personal failing instead of a predictable outcome of a rigged game. Here’s the deeper why behind it: High-achieving women are taught from day one that value = service. That our worth is measured by how helpful, agreeable, and accommodating we can be while making it all look effortless. It’s not just about people-pleasing. It’s about 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘨𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘴𝘺𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘷𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘮𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯. And while we’re busy playing “the good soldier,” mediocre people are lapping us on the track because they’ve mastered visibility, not value. That ends when we stop playing defense with our careers and start running an offense. When we stop waiting to be chosen and start closing our own damn deals. That’s the work I do now — not because I think women need fixing. But because the system’s broken and it’s time we stopped waiting for permission to build our own rules. If this hits, you’re probably one of us. And I’d bet you’re overdue for a different way to play the game.

Perimenopause costs women their confidence—and companies their talent. Every day, women show up to work hiding their brain fog, fatigue, and anxiety. Not because they’re weak, but because they fear being seen as unable to cope. Too many women suffer in silence at work. Especially during perimenopause. Today, after a talk on menopause, I was reminded how real this silence is. Women told me they don’t speak up about brain fog, fatigue, or anxiety. Why? Because they fear being seen as weak or unable to cope. This isn’t just a personal issue. It’s a workplace issue. When we dismiss or misunderstand perimenopause symptoms, we lose talent, productivity, and trust. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Education is the key. When workplaces understand that brain fog or mood changes aren’t a character flaw but a biological reality, we create space for women to thrive. That’s why I’ll keep having these conversations. Because every woman deserves to feel seen, heard, and supported at work. #Perimenopause #HormonalHealth #WorkplaceWellbeing #WomenAtWork #InclusiveWorkplaces #MenopauseAwareness

Reproductive coercion is not always loud. Sometimes, it comes disguised as love, tradition, or duty, and it derails a woman’s career silently, year after year. When a public leader admits to intentionally making his wife give birth every year to “destabilize her” and prevent other men from admiring her, we are no longer just talking about patriarchy. We are confronting abuse disguised as protection, sabotage disguised as care and control disguised as commitment. This is reproductive coercion and it happens more often than we think. Even in progressive, educated circles, at the workplace, in marriages and yes, religious communities. Some signs of reproductive coercion that sabotage ones career: - A partner who pressures you into getting pregnant when you’re just about to get promoted, or go back to school. -Discouragement from using birth control or family planning tools. -Guilt-tripping you for prioritizing your career over “expanding the family.” -Repeated pregnancies that you didn’t plan and a pattern of “you’ll have time later.” -Subtle manipulation during key career milestones -job offers, travel, promotions, sabbaticals. If this feels familiar: 1. Name it: Coercion thrives in silence. Speak to a therapist, a trusted friend, or a support group. Share this post, it may help someone in trouble. 2. Plan quietly: Map out your financial options and career backup plans -you are allowed to protect your autonomy. 3. Use discreet family planning: Talk to a medical professional you trust about options you can control privately. 4. Build a tribe: Surround yourself with women (and men) who believe in your dreams, not just your duties. 5. Document patterns: If you're in a legal or HR-covered space (workplace, health insurance, etc.), keep a private record. This isn’t a ‘women only’ or ‘feminist’ issue, but a human rights issue in general. You are allowed to want a family and a future and you are allowed to say no to being someone’s retirement plan. Let’s talk about it. #saynotoreproductivecoercion #justivyafrica

Imposter syndrome is the quietest career killer in STEM. It doesn’t mean you’re not qualified. It means you’ve been conditioned to doubt yourself. The result? → You hesitate to apply for the promotion. → You downplay your achievements in reviews. → You accept less pay than you deserve. I’ve seen brilliant women lose years of growth to this cycle. But imposter syndrome isn’t a personal weakness. It’s a workplace problem. And you don’t have to face it alone. Here are 3 truths every woman in STEM needs to hear: 1. “Feeling like an imposter means I don’t belong.” Why that’s false:  You’re working in systems not built for you. Doubt is a symptom of bias, not proof of inadequacy. Try this instead:  Separate your feelings from facts. Your results speak louder than your inner critic. 2. “If I stay quiet, I’ll eventually be noticed.” Why that’s false:  Silence gets interpreted as lack of ambition. Opportunities go to those who show up visibly. Try this instead:  Share your wins in ways that highlight team and business impact. 3. “I just need more confidence.” Why that’s false:  Confidence isn’t the problem. Strategy, advocacy, and support are. Try this instead:  Build allies, seek mentors, and practice visibility skills that position you for growth. Which of these truths hit hardest for you today?

The Menopause Penalty Is Real—and It’s Time We Talk About It. Recent research reveals an alarming truth: women experiencing menopause are disproportionately pushed out of the workforce. One study found that a diagnosis of menopause correlates with a 20% decline in earnings within just four years, and many women simply leave their jobs due to unmanaged symptoms like fatigue, brain fog, and emotional changes. (Source: HR Reporter) In a world where women are rising to leadership, building companies, raising families, and shaping innovation, it is unconscionable that menopause remains a silent career killer. As a woman in my fifties, a mother, and an AI innovator, I’ve felt the personal impact of menopause. And I’ve spoken with countless women who felt blindsided, unprepared, unsupported, and in some cases, ashamed. This is not just a personal issue; it is a societal one. This is why Mia Chorney and I founded The Pause Technologies Inc. - to create intelligent, accessible solutions that empower women through every stage of menopause. We believe that technology, education, and proactive care can transform this life phase from one of silence to one of strength. Menopause shouldn't end careers. It should mark a new beginning that is defined by dignity, support, and power. Let’s break the silence. Let’s change the culture. Let’s lead the way. #MenopauseAwareness #ThePauseAI #WomenInWork #WorkplaceWellbeing #Leadership #AIForGood #HealthTech #Founders #WomenSupportingWomen

Perhaps a bit taboo of a conversation to have, but that's the problem. Menopause shouldn't be a silent storm. Rather, we need to speak on this openly and frequently. For too long, women have suffered in silence as they navigate the physical, emotional, and cognitive changes of menopause. These symptoms can significantly impact job performance, productivity, and overall well-being. The reality is that menopause represents a significant talent drain. Many women are forced to leave the workforce prematurely due to a lack of understanding and support from their employers. This is not only a loss for the individual but also a loss for businesses that miss out on the valuable experience and expertise of their women employees. In this article, I share the personal journey I'm currently navigating and considerations that organizations can create to invite a supportive and inclusive work environment for menopausal women. If you can relate to any of this, share how in the comments. Let's break the stigma. #Menopause #Women #WorkplaceCulture

Why Women Don't Talk About Perimenopause at Work: The Silent 🤫 Struggle I want to open up a conversation that many of us avoid—perimenopause in the workplace. There’s a stigma that keeps us silent, and it's time to address it. 💼 Stigma and Ageism Let’s face it: admitting to perimenopause symptoms like hot flashes 🔥 or memory lapses 🧠 can feel risky. A 2022 survey revealed that almost 77% of women dealing with these challenges stay quiet 🤐, fearing ageism and the stigma attached to "aging out" of our careers. We’re conditioned to think that acknowledging these natural life transitions might make us seem less capable. 📉 Lack of Awareness and Understanding Despite the fact that 8 out of 10 women experience perimenopause between the ages of 40 and 55, many workplaces are simply unprepared 😕 to support us. We navigate this phase largely on our own, without the resources 🛠️ or understanding that could make a real difference. 💪 The "Superwoman" Syndrome Then there’s the pressure to be invulnerable. We’re often expected to juggle everything—work, family, life—without breaking a sweat 💦. But the truth is, perimenopause can be exhausting, emotionally and physically. One in four women even consider leaving their jobs 🚪because of these challenges, yet we hesitate to speak up for fear of being judged or seen as weak. 🤐 The Absence of Open Conversations The silence isn’t just personal—it’s cultural. When was the last time you felt comfortable discussing menopause with your colleagues or your boss? For many of us, the answer is never. This lack of open conversation perpetuates the idea that these issues are “off-limits,” making it even harder for us to ask for the support we need. Breaking the Silence 🤫 The reluctance to discuss perimenopause at work doesn’t just affect us individually—it holds back our progress towards true gender equality 🚺. By breaking the silence and recognizing the realities of perimenopause, we can help create a workplace where women feel empowered 💪 to navigate this phase while continuing to excel in their careers. If we want to foster a culture of inclusivity and support, shedding light 💡 on perimenopause is crucial. It’s not just about making our own lives easier—it’s about ensuring that all of us can thrive 🌱 throughout every stage of our professional journeys. Share your thoughts! #WomenInTheWorkplace #PerimenopauseAwareness #EmpowerWomen #SupportWomen #WorkplaceWellness #WomenLeaders #InclusionMatters #DiversityandInclusion #CareerDevelopment #Empowerment