BREAKING: MAN DISCOVERS THREE-INCH FOREHEAD HAIR AND ACCIDENTALLY INVENTS NEW FORM OF SELF-AWARENESS Scientists everywhere are scrambling after Greg Hollister of Sacramento uncovered the greatest threat to modern adulthood: a lone, three-inch forehead hair he somehow never noticed. Yes. Three inches. On his face. In public. While allegedly being a grown man with access to mirrors. Greg insists he checks his reflection “twice a day.” The hair suggests otherwise. Researchers immediately expanded the study to Greg’s other blind spots, including: • A laundry basket overflowing into a second jurisdiction • Salad dressing from 2017 still “probably fine” • Career feedback delivered in plain English for a year • Asking if Wi-Fi can run out as if it is propane Early findings confirm what many suspected. The forehead hair is not the crisis. The lack of awareness is. If you enjoyed this breaking news from the Department of “How Did You Miss That,” you might actually love Work In Progmess, our weekly newsletter dedicated to personal growth, poor decisions, and the humans who keep discovering new ways to surprise themselves. Subscribe here before your own forehead starts sending distress signals: https://workinprogmess.ai #WorkInProgmess #HumansAreWild #BlindSpotEnergy #AwarenessCrisis #ProfessionalPlotTwist #CareerComedy #SatireSquad #FixYourForeheadFirst
And it isn't even Monday